My Essay Blog

Know what? just this morning, before I popped open my laptop, a heretical thought crossed my head.

It’s this: planning and anticipating your retirement is like insurance policy. Never Ever take it as the sole reward to the years of working. Simply, it is a mere hedge against what we all fear at the end of life: becoming so decrepit,that we can’t physically mow lawns to buy ourselves a Happy Meal.

To my mind, retirement as the final goal of an executive is darn stupid for three critical reasons.

First it’s hinged on the presumption that you abhor what you are doing throughout the most physically productive years of your life. Is this how you want to trudge out to work the next 30 years of your career- feeling that you gotta endure decades of hell before well-earned respite? Millions of shmoes out there are unhappy, depressed and leap buildings when they deem work as much fun as getting a triple bypass.

Second, many folks will never retire and maintain even a greasy-microwave-chicken-for-dinner standards of living. Think about that. Even Five Million is a loose change in a stinking economy where your retirement might last twenty years; and runaway inflation delfates your purchasing power 4% to 11% each year. Doesn’t add up, doesn’t it? Your golden years become Ghetto-class life revisited.

Finally, if you do save up for a comfortable, much-desired retirement, it implies that you’re one ambitious, hardworking son-of-a-gun. So what happens? Three days into lounging at that luxury home for the decrepit, you’ll be flaming bored, you’ll want to kick every senior citizen and her cat out of your way. You’ll start scanning the job market and even start a new corporation- in your flannel pajamas. Hmmm.. quite defeats the purpose of waiting for retirement, huh?

So what’s my point…? I’m not saying don’t plan your retirement. That wouldn’t be wise. What I’m saying is, never mistake retirement for the end goal. That’s really dumb. Instead, look to each day as as source of new inspiration, an opportunity for great things that you can enjoy NOW and instead of at retirement.

Stop and think about that…. Imagine what life will be like if every week was a of mini-retirement? Now that’s heaven!

Have you ever noticed that life frequently serves, usually when we are least prepared, opportunities to make life-altering choices. Do I stay at this dead &ndashend, but secure job, or take a chance with a new risky opportunity? Do I step out into a new relationship, or cling to the comfort of mom and dad’s basement? Do I tenaciously adhere to speaking only truth, even if brutal, or do I take the easy road of a barely off-white but much more socially acceptable lie? Choices, big and small, seem to greet our every step. Often, there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ response, but there certainly are a variety of consequences to consider.

Fortunately, our culture provides us with three exemplary icons that embody the very essence of our most popular choosing and acting styles. I call them the ‘three great captains’ of Western civilization: Captain Kirk, Captain Crunch, and Captain Kangaroo.

If you are prone to be a testosterone-based bull in the china shop, then you follow the way of Captain Kirk. Using this strategy you will employ significantly more ‘leap-age’ than you will ‘look-age’. Crank up the adrenalin, and storm the Klingon stronghold armed with a drained phaser and a keen dramatic presence. The way of Kirk leaves logic (Spock) and emotional sensitivity (McCoy) back on the ship’s control bridge ineffectively squabbling.

If you are more into less thinking and more wishing and hoping, then you are an adherent of the second great captain’s philosophy of action&ndashthat of the good Captain Crunch. Champion of the cereal box, most of Crunch’s battles were staged on the stormy skimmed milk seas of the cereal bowl. One step below the proverbial tempest in the teapot, Capt. Crunch bested bare footed pirates by hoping to violate the common laws of physics and milk absorption. The followers of the Crunchian Way don’t spend much time thinking, rather they have faith that when push and shove finally meet, somehow, some transcendental way, things will just work out. Often you will find them repeating affirmations, praying, or having a second cocktail after lobbying the fates to be gentle with them.

Finally we consider the last of the great Captains of our culture: Captain Kangaroo. This Captain chose his actions by committee. Capt. Kangaroo always consulted his team of stalwart puppets and staff. Only after painstaking analysis by Mr.’s Moose and Greenjeans, Bunny Rabbit, Dancing Bear, and a host of others was Capt. Kangaroo ready to take action. Unfortunately, by then his show was over, and his opportunity missed.

Obviously, depending on the hyperbolic traits of any single one of our great captains, or any single habitual strategy for making choices, is liable to routinely leave us enjoying less than desirable consequences. Some situations might require the ‘charge in phaser’s blazing’ approach of Kirk. Other situations may well benefit from the soggy thinking optimism of Crunch. Of course, the careful analytical approach of Kangaroo has its moments as well. Most situations would benefit from a nice variable combination of the three captain’s choosing methods.

Before you make your next big, or little choice, you might stop for a moment and see if you have been happy with the results from previous similar choices. If you have, then by all means move forwards as usual. If you haven’t always been pleased with the results of your choices, you might consider changing your choosing strategy. Sometimes that’s as easy as simply making up your mind to change. Other times our choosing strategy is completely unconscious, and not easily changed. If you chronically find yourself at the wrong end of bad choices that you don’t even remember making, then it’s time to visit your local hypnotherapist. Hypnosis is the fastest way to unearth unconscious mechanisms, and free you from their grip. A qualified hypnotherapist can help you reprogram faulty decision habits and help you start moving in the direction you want to go. With all due respect to the three great captains, it is your life, and you deserve to sail through it smiling.

This is another helpful mind management tip from Richard Lefever and the brain weavers at Quit! Check us out at .quitsmokingoregon.com

Your first clue to the truth about advertising was written more than 100 years ago.

Let me tell you the story of a young, confident copywriter by the name of John E. Kennedy. Early one May evening in 1904, Kennedy, a former Canadian Mountie, sat in a New York barroom.

He sent a note upstairs to the office of A.L. Thomas, the head of the Lord and Thomas advertising agency. “I’m in the saloon downstairs,” the note began, “and I can tell you

what advertising is.

Of all the things that go towards shaping our destiny, it is our belief in our own abilities which has the greatest influence. Our level of self belief determines whether we succeed or fail to achieve our dreams and ambitions. As Henry Ford said “If you think you can, you’re right. If you think you can’t, you’re right.”

I was watching a program on the Biography Channel the other day which illustrated the truth of Henry Ford’s words and highlighted the importance of self-belief. The subject of this program dropped out of the educational system without a degree, in fact, he quit school before he even reached college age and left school with woefully inadequate qualifications. The reason for this academic failure was a combination of dyslexia and general lack of interest in school work.

Sadly, the lack of academic achievement was accompanied by a complete lack of prowess on the sports field. To top it all off, as well as being a dunce and a sporting failure, the poor kid was not even good looking. He did not have rich parents to give him financial support . His parents were not business owners, so there was no chance of a career via nepotism. He had no obvious skills or talent, so a career as an artist or musician was not an option.

This sounded like the stereotypical beginning for a person who will at best survive by taking low-paid employment and, at worst, will drift into a life of crime as a way of snatching what he is incapable of earning. His school headmaster is credited with saying on his premature departure from the education system, ‘I feel sure you will either end up in prison or become a millionaire’. To entertain the idea that this person had any prospect of becoming a millionaire, you would have to know his character. We can only see the external disadvantages, the headmaster was aware of the strength of character and depth of self belief existing within this person. That self-belief more than made up for any lack of education and academic qualifications.

One thing the prospective jailbird/millionaire had was the ability to spot a niche for a new business. No, this is not a story of luck bringing an instant rags to riches transformation. Unfortunately his first two business ventures failed miserably. Did this set him on a path of serial business failures? Not at all, the failures probably taught him valuable lessons. He started the first business at the age of seven, so the chances of real success were pretty remote! The fact that he had sufficient self-belief to start his first business before he even reached his teenage years gives us a clue as to his character.

The condensed version of the rest of this biography is that the “hero” of the story built a successful business before he reached his twenties, was a millionaire by the age of 25 and was the owner of a Caribbean island before he was thirty. He did not stop working then, he went on from flamboyant success to even bigger flamboyant success, setting records and achieving the apparently impossible.

The subject of the TV program was Sir Richard Branson who is, at the time of writing, a billionaire several times over. He has attributed his success to hard work, belief in his business ventures and a willingness to take risks. These risks have included the well publicised (and life threatening) hot-air balloon journeys, starting a business on borrowed capital and taking risks in business where the potential losses were huge.

It is self-belief which made it possible to take those risks. Without belief in himself, Richard Branson would not have dared to borrow the money to start his first business as a magazine publisher after leaving school. Without self-belief the balloon challenges would not have been contemplated. Without self-belief the ambition to own an airline would have remained just a dream.

“It’s lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believe in myself”. Those words were said by Muhammad Ali but they sum up the essence of what makes any person able to reach his goals in life. We must learn to sow and cultivate self-belief if we wish to achieve the harvest of our dreams.

Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent, and committed decision.

- Anthony Robbins

All stories of success have one common element. You guess right, that is Passion. Passion for what they want to achieve. Enough passion to keep their eyes from wandering away from the goal. Total passion to finally see them through.

Passionate beliefs often make great sacrifices look easy and are the foundation of success. Goutham Buddha, at the age of 29, followed his urge for knowledge. He left his wife, son and kingdom to be one with the sufferings of normal human beings. After going through hardship and pain he finally experienced enlightenment. More than 1500 years after his enlightenment, the Talibans may be out to destroy his statues, but Buddhism remains one of the strongest religions in the world.

Che Guevara, inspite of being an Argentine, went to Cuba and fought its battle of independence for the sake of his ideology. And then he quit his top ministerial posts in Cuba to fight for African countries before coming to Bolivia and meeting his end. Che, of course, failed in most of his wars against oppressors, yet he achieved what he always wanted.

It was this passion for being unique that made a young boy stand at the centre of the Sydney cricket ground and tell his father “I shall never be satisfied until I play on this ground” and then not just playing there but creating history as Sir Don Bradman. He was passionate about his game and ended his career with a record average of 99.96 runs.

Aung San Suu Kyi’s passion for a non-violent struggle for democracy has won her a Nobel Prize. Stephen Hawking’s incurable motor-neuron disease couldn’t stop his passion for Physics and the universe. ‘Being kicked out of school’ Bill Gates passion for winning made him world’s leading business tycoon. All the self-made millionaires on the globe scripted their success stories out of their passionate goals. Not only did they know what they wanted but they are people who believed passionately that they CAN.

If you think you CAN you are right. Just be passionate about it. And if you lack passion, then develop it because success never comes till you are passionate about it.

As the species whose thinking ability supposedly separates us from the animals, we really don’t spend much of our life reasoning. Most of the time our minds get stuck on cruise control. Thinking takes up too much time and requires too much energy. Imagine having to think about every decision we make. It wouldn’t leave us much time to accomplish anything else, would it? Most of us have a systematic way of looking at the world. When this mode is operating, our minds are perfectly primed to automatically respond to persuasion triggers. I call these triggers the Laws of Persuasion.

The Laws of Persuasion operate below our conscious thoughts. When employed properly, your prospects don’t even realize you’re using them. On the other hand, if you blunder your way through a persuasion situation, your audience will be totally aware of what you’re doing. It’s like seeing a police car on the side of the road–it jars us back to reality. If the persuader is skilled, he or she will use the Laws of Persuasion so the message is delivered below the radar.

Understanding the Laws of Persuasion involves understanding the human psyche. Such knowledge empowers you to improve your persuasive abilities. It magnifies your effectiveness in relationships, improves your parenting skills, enhances your leadership ability, and helps you sell yourself and your ideas. In short, it maximizes your influence.

In his book Triggers, Joseph Sugarman estimates that 95 percent of the reasoning behind a consumer’s purchase is associated with a subconscious decision. In other words, most buying is done for reasons a person hasn’t even fully formulated. Dr. Gregory Neidert estimates that our brains actually run on idle 90 to 95 percent of the time. Let’s face it, thinking is hard work. It is human nature to conserve cognitive energy. Thinking burns three times as many calories as watching TV. Those who use their brains for a living have traditionally been among the highest paid professionals. Consider the incomes for doctors, lawyers, and engineers, just to name a few. Most of us feel we don’t have the time or even the desire to think on the level that these professionals do each day.

What are the main reasons we choose not to think? First, sometimes the amount of information available is so overwhelming we don’t even attempt to digest any of it. Sometimes our decisions simply aren’t weighty enough to warrant the effort of researching all the available information. Consciously and subconsciously, from the bombardment of information we receive, we selectively choose what we will acknowledge and what we will ignore.

Whether we realize it or not, we love shortcuts to thinking. When we buy an item, we don’t always take the time to research the product or read the latest consumer guide’s ratings on the product. Instead, we often rely on the salesperson’s advice. We might just buy the most popular brand, or we might bring a friend along for his opinion. Although we would never admit it, we sometimes even buy an item just because of its color or packaging. Certainly we know this is not the best way to make decisions, but we all do it anyway, even when we know we might make a mistake or feel regretful afterwards. If we thoroughly considered every single decision, we would constantly be overwhelmed and we’d never get anything done.

Recall a situation where you where persuaded or acted without thinking?

The Laws of Persuasion are so powerful because they capitalize on two very predictable things: one, what we expect from human nature, and two, how people will respond in certain situations. People react predictably under a given set of circumstances. If we learn to recognize how the Laws of Persuasion work, we will know how to use them in our interactions with others. We will also become more aware of how others will attempt to use them on us.

There are two paths to persuasion: the conscious and the subconscious. Both paths can persuade others to your way of thinking, but each path uses a very different means of processing information.

In the conscious path, both you and your audience make an active or conscious attempt to understand, define, and process an argument. A person who is interested in your persuasive attempts will be highly motivated to listen. As such, she will also be able to consciously evaluate your message by carefully weighing the pros and cons of the evidence you present.

On the subconscious path, the listener spends little or no time processing the information. This approach results in those automatic triggers we previously talked about. These knee-jerk reactions happen when you follow your intuition or use a mental shortcut. Your mind reaches a decision without doing any logical processing. These subconscious decisions are largely driven by instinct and emotion. Individuals who spend lots of time on the subconscious path do so because they lack the time, motivation, desire, or ability to really listen to your message. They’re not really involved in the subject. They use their instinct or emotions instead of their intellect. Passive processing and automatic decision triggers rule their decision making.

Our minds are programmed with automatic persuasion triggers. Most of us experience persuasive situations without realizing or thinking about it. Master Persuaders know what these triggers are and how to utilize them to their advantage. Understanding the Laws of Persuasion helps us become aware of how we are influenced without having conscious knowledge of it.

Learning to influence and persuade takes time, skill, and experience. What most people don’t realize is that we already instinctively use many of these laws in our daily communications. The same Laws of Persuasion that we unknowingly use every day are the very same ones Master Persuaders use deliberately, consciously, and consistently. Master Persuaders make persuasion a habit. Think about how conscientious you were when you first started driving. Now, after years of practice, driving a car doesn’t require as much thought or focus. Master Persuaders understand the rules of persuasion and practice them constantly. They can apply the techniques subconsciously, without even thinking about them. For them, the application of persuasion has become second nature.

Application Questions

1. Why do you think most decisions are made on a subconscious level?

2. Can you think of a time when you bought something and rationalized it later with conscious thought?

3. How can you use this information to benefit you in your ability to persuade?

Nothing disarms and invites an audience in more than humor. We are instantly drawn to people we think are funny. We enjoy listening to humorous individuals and hearing what they have to say. Humor grabs attention, creates rapport and makes a message more memorable. It can also relieve tension, enhance relationships and motivate people.

If you’ve got an important message to share, humor can give you a huge advantage. The actor John Cleese once said, “If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas. And if I can persuade you to laugh at the particular point I make, by laughing at it you acknowledge its truth.” Don’t use humor just to get a laugh out of your prospects. In humor, there is so much potential for influence. Armed with humor, you can provide special insights or teach important principles.

Humor must be used cautiously, however. If used properly, it will help your audience to like you. If used ineffectively or inappropriately, however, it can be a big turn off. The instant you irritate or offend your audience members, it’s over. Nothing you say or do from that point forward will rectify the damage done. Worse, they’ll always remember you as a bad comic. Be sure that you have good material before attempting to incorporate humor into your presentations. Also, cater your comedy to your audience. What would they find funny? What are some inside experiences they share that you could draw humor from? Use humor that will evoke chuckles and lightheartedness but that is still built on truth. It is a very wise idea to test the comedic waters on friends or family to make sure your humor works!

Another technique that is sometime used in story selling is the instillation of fear. As manipulative as it may sound, fear definitely motivates others when it is used properly. I would strongly caution against creating a false sense of fear, however. Doing so truly is manipulative, and by instilling false fear you will lose your audience’s long-term trust. Use fear only if the threat is real and if it is in the best interest of the audience to be forewarned. For example, doctors sometimes have to be straightforward with their patients about the impending worst-case scenario if they don’t get in shape. It’s scary to hear, but the patient truly needs this information to be brought to her/his attention.

As much as we may wish it to not be the case, often it is only fear that will motivate and move someone off a path to destruction. There are less dramatic, but nevertheless fear-inspired, examples: Fear incites us to buy life insurance, to floss our teeth, to buy cars with airbags, to install home security systems and to purchase guns. Hopefully, fear will not be a persuasive tool you use with great frequency, but if you feel you can effectively use it to underscore a very important message, adhere to the following guidelines:

1. You must make your audience feel the anxiety and uneasiness that come from anticipating the possible, even greater, negative emotions (pain, grief, loss, etc.) that will become imminent if the problem is not dealt with.

2. Your prospects must feel not only that the fearful event is likely to happen, but also that they could be victimized by its occurrence. In other words, they must feel vulnerable.

3. You must provide a solution to the fear you instill. Give your prospects a recommended action to resolve the fear-inducing problem.

4. Your prospects must believe that they are capable of doing what is asked of them and that doing so will work for them.

Positive self-talk means purposely giving yourself positive reinforcement, motivation, and recognition- just as you would do for a friend. Congratulate yourself when you do well, and remind yourself of your abilities, accomplishments, strengths and skills. Keep a to-do list, check off accomplishments, and review your progress periodically.

Make self-talk work for you. When you habitually say to yourself has a very profound impact on your self-image, your self-esteem, and your performance as well as eventual success. Remember that your subconscious triggers physiological responses to match the pictures and thoughts that you have of yourself to make them happens. Make this work for you by keeping your self-talk positive.

For example say to yourself either “ I did a good job on that changing a friend’s oil even though I took a quart and

One’s attitude has a lot more to do with the level of her/his success than one’s aptitude, ability, IQ, education or other factors do. I’d like to get into the details of a salesperson’s psychology so that, when it comes to building your team and individual team members, you are equipped with the knowledge of what’s really going on in there. As a holder of a management or other sort of leadership position, you may have already experienced being a salesperson yourself. However, it never hurts to review and be reminded of what it’s like to “carry the bag.” I also want to emphasize the mental game because so many companies focus on external things, like product knowledge, licensing, etc. And while these things are all important, companies that focus on such externalities often neglect the cultivation of their salespeople’s proper mindset. I’ve always found this selling mentality ironic, because it’s what’s going on in the inside that will most dramatically affect sales.

A direct relationship exists between self-image and sales performance. If you don’t already, try to get a handle on how your reps perceive themselves. What kind of self-talk plays in their brains all day long? You and your team will never experience exponential success if it is not something they can mentally conceive of first. And the major precursor to vivid envisioning of success in the workplace is vivid envisioning of success in oneself and one’s abilities. How can you, as a sales manager, cultivate healthy, solid self-confidence and self-belief? One of the easiest ways to do so is to offer sincere praise. Ra1ph Waldo Emerson said, “Every man is entitled to be valued by his best moments.” There is no need to fear that you will create an egomaniac by giving someone simple but honest praise and appreciation for good, hard work.

Often, it is more effective to praise the specific act rather than the person. This way, your praise is attached to something distinct and concrete. Praise is harder to be interpreted as flattery or favoritism when there is a specific and concrete thing being praised. General compliments may produce a temporary effect, but they can incite jealousy in others and create even more insecurity in the recipient if the specific activity that merited the compliment remains unknown.

Then there is a new pressure to live up to this higher standard, even though the praised individual is not sure how s/he set it. Even more insecurity is bred if the praised individual fears you will retract your praise. That’s because in not knowing concretely how s/he earned it, s/he doesn’t know how to keep it. One single person feeling this kind of anxiety or insecurity can really cause your entire teambuilding effort to backfire. Have you ever witnessed (or experienced) coworkers who huddled together to complain after a “pep rally” with the boss? Instead of feeling inspired and motivated, all they could do was gripe. Unfortunately, it only takes one person’s bad attitude to drag down the rest.

We know that when a specific behavior is praised, that behavior will increase. At a small college in Virginia, 24 students in a psychology course decided to see whether they could use compliments to change the way women on campus dressed. For a while, they complimented all the female students who were wearing blue. The percentage of the female student population wearing blue then rose from 25 percent to 38 percent. The researchers then switched to complimenting any woman who wore red. This shift in the color being praised caused the appearance of red on campus to double from 11 percent to 22 percent. Praise is a simple but often overlooked concept. If you want to use this technique to your best advantage, be sure you give honest and sincere praise.

Closely related to praise is acceptance. We all long for acceptance. We want to feel like our actions and contributions help an effort or cause. We all want to be noticed by others. We also all want to be someone of significance who is held in high regard. Knowledge of this common craving from acceptance can help you motivate your team. If you can make them feel that their help is appreciated, that they are personally accepted and that their contributions are essential, they will be more inspired to perform.

When your team members feel accepted unconditionally, with no strings attached, their doubts, fears and inadequacies will go out the window. One way to make your team feel accepted is to offer them genuine thanks. Seek to make a conscientious and deliberate effort to thank people in all aspects of your professional life. Don’t assume your team members know you care about and appreciate them. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that a paycheck is thanks enough. One of the main reasons why people are dissatisfied with their sales job is because they are never thanked or given any recognition for their efforts.

Often, individuals increase their feelings of acceptance by building their association with certain people, places or things. This sense of identification has been referred to as the Social Identity Theory. For example, a sports fan may enhance his sense of belonging by plastering his walls with his favorite team’s sports paraphernalia. Even though no one on that team has any clue who he is, he feels better about himself anyway, just because of the association and identity he has created for himself with that team.

Are there ways in which you can use the Social Identity Theory to your advantage? Think of ways to create strong team association. These methods should be things that are unique to the team and that help team members individually feel like they are “insiders.” Maybe your team needs a mascot, a mission statement or even a theme song. I once knew a sales team that played the theme music from Rocky over the loud speaker every time someone closed a sale. Things like this might seem silly, but they really build team spirit and morale. If you worry that things like this will be distracting or disruptive to your particular workplace, look for ways to adapt. The energy that grows from each team member feeling accepted is worth the effort.