My Essay Blog

Anybody who has to live life with a stammer will know just how much of a hinderance it can make what fluent people see as simple tasks. Making a phone call, ordering a drink, going out with friends and attending a job interview can be very hard for people who stammer or stutter.

My name is Steve Hill and I am one of these people who have had to endure the affects of stammering. I am now very happy to report that I have been fluent for the last ten years and life has never been so good.

I was never willing to accept my stammer despite what many other so called stammering experts said. These people wanted me to stop fighting and to realise that I would live with the stammer for the rest of my life. In their eyes if I accepted this fact it would be a lot easier for me to cope. These experts are fluent people and it is easy for them to say.

Throughout my life I have tried to improve especially in the areas that I was not happy about. For me stammering was the ultimate problem in my life and I was certain that I would continue my search for a cure for the rest of my life. There was no way I was going to ever accept it. Whenever anybody says to me that a particular thing can not be achieved, I always think of this as a very negative approach. I have now decided to try and avoid these negative type people as they are the ones who are weak and I do want them to have any influence on my life, as they can easily if I am not careful bring me down to their level.

I found stammering to be a very frustrating problem. At times I could actually speak quite well, for example after I had drank quite a lot of alcohol. I was able to talk well to one person but not to another. For many years I could not work out why this was. To find some answers I attended speech therapy at various points in my life. Unfortunately these people did not have the required information to help me. My search for a cure for stammering would have to continue in a different place.

My advice for anybody who has a stammer is to never give up or accept your stammer. This is in a way accepting second best which is exactly what I did when I had a stammer. I had to accept second best in my work, social and even love life as having a stammer made me believe that I could do no better.

My name is Stephen Hill. I am thirty-two years of age and live in Birmingham, England. From the age of four I unfortunately had a speech impediment known as stuttering. This impediment basically ruined my life for eighteen years before I finally managed to overcome the stutter. This article is all about stuttering or as some people call it stammering.

Stammering or stuttering can have a dramatic effect on somebodys confidence and it certainly seemed to my crush mine. It made me accept second best in life and stopped me living my life as I wanted to.

It is extremely difficult for a fluent person to comprehend how hard it is to live your life with a speech impediment or stutter.

I now run one to one speech courses which are held in Birmingham. A couple of years ago one of my clients told me about a situation he had been involved in. He and his friends went to a bar one Saturday afternoon to have a few drinks. After a couple of pints he went up to the bar to order himself a drink. Unfortunately he could not speak all of the words fluently and the barman accused him of being drunk and refused to serve him. He tried to explain that he was not drunk but had a stutter, however the barman relpied, that’s what they all say.

He returned to his friends who asked him where his drink was. He told them what had happened, this itself was very embarressing.

This is a typical situation people who have a stutter or stammer find themselves in.

How many fluent people ever consider what life is like for somebody with a stutter?

Going through life with a stutter is quite difficult, and at times the stutterer would appreciate a little more compasion.

After overcoming a stutter myself, I asked some of my friends, how they thought life was like, having a severe stutter. I had quite a few different responses, some of which annoyed me.

Jim said:

“I always thought that you felt a bit sorry for yourself and you made out that your stutter was some huge disasterous problem. It’s not like you couldn’t talk at all, is it?

I also felt at times that you lacked courage, for example always asking Tony to order your drinks for you.”

Paul then gave his opinion:

“I found it quite funny that at times you would be talking really well, but within a few minutes you couldn’t get a word out.”

Ashley joined in:

“I felt a bit sorry for you, seeing you struggle, was quite painful to watch.”- This was a better comment!

Nigel, another friend:

“I am glad that I don’t stutter, but what I think you needed to understand was that you were not the only one with issues and problems. I am extremely impressed that you have managed to overcome it though.”

I was annoyed mostly by the comments from Jim, and responded:

“So you think to have a stutter is not that bad then Jim? OK, I challenge you to go up to the bar and order a pint of lager, but when you order it I want you to stutter on some of the words.”

I showed him how I wanted him to say the order, when to stutter etc. I then said:

“After you have stuttered on the words, I want you to see how it feels and to experience the way people look at you. You may then understand a little bit more of what I went through.”

Jim declined this challenge, even after a severe amount of prompting and teasing from different members of our group.

Having a stutter is not nice and when someone who has a stutter seeks help, please offer them your full support.

I was quite fortunate in that some of my friends did go to the bar for me and my parents were quite prepared to make certain phone calls, like phoning the doctors and the car insurance.

At other periods in my life though, other people did make fun of me and at times I would become very depressed and withdrawn and would wonder why it was me who had a stutter.

Stephen Hill

People we meet and have to see on a regular basis can have a negative affect on your life and self-confidence, but only if you let them. I am a person who would get dragged down by any negative comment made from a friend or by my boss for example. This article is about how to deal with these situations and how to not let these people and their comments make you feel like a second class citizen.

A few years ago I met a client(Ian) who described a similar scenario to me. He had been very successful in business and had reached the level of director in the company where he worked. We were discussing this very subject and he admitted that he had an over-aggressive boss who I think was the chairman of the company. I can not remember the chairmans name, however for the purpose of this article I will call him John.

Ian thought that John played a kind of business game, where he wanted to be seen as the boss and where he wanted everyone to be scared of him.

This was the situation Ian described to me. John would e-mail him in the morning with a question asking why the north-west of the country had not been as profitable in the last quarter compared to its usual levels. He would ask Ian to meet him in the afternoon to discuss his findings. Ian would then contact his line managers and would then write a report before attending the meeting with the chairman.

Ian was a person who had a slight speech impediment, a stutter. He would be able to talk fluently most of the time, however if he felt nervous or if he felt under pressure, he would then start having problems getting his words out and would stutter. Ian also had words he thought of as difficult and would often avoid these type of words. He was very careful when writing his report only to include words he felt confident he would be able to say.

In the afternoon who would go and meet John and present his report to him. He stated that he would have no problem with his speech at this stage and that the presentation would be delivered smoothly and fluently.

On hearing the report, John would not make any comment and would instead basically just stare at Ian, slowly nodding his head up and down at the same time. Ian described this as making him feel very uncomfortable and was just praying for the silence to end and for his chairman to say something. The words from the chairman would not come and so to break the silence Ian would then continue speaking giving more reasons which were probably not correct and that were certainly not planned. These words were also not spoken fluently but with Ian struggling and stuttering.

I had a little think about what Ian had told me and felt angry at John.

I eventually came up with a suggestion. I advised Ian to end his presentation with a question, for example, this is what I believe are the reasons, however I would value your opinion as chairman of the company.

He can then nod and stare for as long as he likes, it is his turn to talk next and Ian can sit there comfortably and just be patient.

It is very important that we do not let people like John drag us down. It is time to be strong and to stand up to these people.

In this article I write about how we can become content with life by learning to like ourselves and by appreciating what we have in life. There are far too many people who are comparing their lives to that of their friends and neighbours, and who then think that they are not good enough. This can make them become jealous and even depressed.

I have to admit that I was like the people I am describing above. I was not happy with the car I drove, or at the company where I worked, or at how much money I earned per year and even with the girlfriend I had. My friends seemed to drive much better cars, worked for much better employers, earned far more per year than I did and had much better looking girlfriends, sorry Claire!

I have since managed to change my attitude to life and am now very happy with what I have in life. I now look at the bigger picture and instead of concentrating my thoughts at people who I feel are better off than me, I watch the news from around the world and hear about people who are far less fortunate than I am. I certainly now feel that I am actually very lucky compared to most people who live on this planet.

I also did not really like myself, I wanted to be taller, stronger, a better communicator (I had a stutter), and a lot fitter than I was (I was quite fat). I have since accepted that there are various things that I can not change, such as my height and have therefore accepted that I am shorter than the average male. I have also thought about the positive aspects of being short, more leg room on a plane etc. Other aspects of my life at which I was not happy with, but felt I could change or improve, I have worked very hard on, and am now at a weight I am happy with and have overcome the stuttering speech impediment.

I now like myself and if other people choose not to, that is fine by me, I have enough people who do. In any case it is what I think that counts, therefore if they think I am an idiot, thats fine, because I believe I am not.

I now have an opinion that what car I drive or how much money I earn is not important. For me, health and happiness are the two most important things in life and these are things which money can not buy.

I have decided that stressing or worrying about a situation does not help me to succeed, it just makes things a whole lot worse and more difficult. I now think to myself, that all I can do in life is to try my best and if I do that I can be proud of myself.

I used to be very hard on myself, my own worst critic. I am now a lot easier on myself, I have realised that I will make mistakes and always try to learn from the experiences. My body and brain are temples and I need to be nice to them. Hopefully if I am they will reward me with my continued health.

I am now far happier than I have ever been and am determined not to slip back into my old ways of depression and negative thinking.

I hope this article helps you in your quest for a better life.