My Essay Blog

Carole started counseling with me because she was depressed. She had been ill with chronic fatigue syndrome for a long time and believed her depression was due to this. In the course of our work together, she became aware that her depression was actually coming from her negative thinking - Carole was a constant worrier. Many words out of her mouth centered around her concerns that something bad might happen. “What if I never get well?” “What if my husband gets sick?” “What if I run out of money?” (Carole and her husband ran a very successful business and there was no indication that it would not go on being successful). “What if my son gets into drugs?” “What if my kids don’t get into good colleges?” “What if someone breaks into the house?”

Her worry was not only causing her depression, but was also contributing to her illness, if not actually causing it. Her worry caused so much stress in her body that her immune system could not do its job of keeping her well. Yet even the awareness that her worry was causing her depression and possibly even her illness did not stop Carole from worrying. She was addicted to it. She was unconsciously addicted to the sense of control that worry gave her.

I understood this well because I come from a long line of worriers. My grandmother’s whole life was about worrying. She lived with us as I was growing up and I don’t remember ever seeing her without a look of worry on her face. Same with my mother &ndash constant worry. Of course, I picked up on it and also became a worrier. However, unlike my mother and grandmother, who worried daily until the day they died, I decided I didn’t want to live that way. The turning point came for me the day my husband and I were going to the beach and I started to worry that the house would burn down and my children would die. I became so upset from the worry that we had to turn around and come home. I knew then that I had to do something about it.

As I started to examine the cause of worry, I realized that worriers believe that worry will stop bad things from happening. My mother worried her whole life and none of the bad things she worried about ever happened. She concluded that nothing bad happened because she worried! She really believed that she could control things with her worry. My father, however, never worried about anything, and nothing bad ever happened to him either. My mother believed that nothing bad happened to my father because of her worry! She really believed until the day she died (from heart problems that may have been due to her constant worry) that if she stopped worrying, everything would fall apart. My father is still alive at 92, even without her worrying about him!

It is not easy to stop worrying when you have been practicing worrying for most of your life. In order for me to stop worrying, I needed to recognize that the belief that worry has control over outcomes is a complete illusion. I needed to see that, not only is worry a waste of time, but that it can have grave negative consequences on health and well-being. Once I understood this, I was able to notice the stomach clenching that occurred whenever I worried and stop the thought that was causing the stress.

Carole is in the process of learning this. She sees that her worry makes her feel very anxious and depressed. She sees that when she doesn’t worry, she is not nearly as fatigued as when she allows her addiction to worry to take over. She sees that when she stays in the moment rather than projecting into the future, she feels much better. The key for Carole in stopping worrying is in accepting that worry does not give her control.

Giving up the illusion of control that worry gives us not easy for anyone who worries. Yet there is an interesting paradox regarding worry. I have found that when I am in the present moment, I have a much better chance of making choices that support my highest good than when I’m stuck thinking about the future. Rather than giving us control, worry prevents us from being present enough to make loving choices for ourselves and others. Worrying actually ends up giving us less control rather than more!

Each of us has an inner critic. There is no way to grow up in our society without having developed this inner critical voice &ndash which comes from parents, teachers, peers, the media, and from our own conclusions.

The problem is that this inner critic sounds like a voice of authority when in reality it doesn’t know what it is talking about. It is a voice based on beliefs that have been handed down through generations but that have no basis in fact.

How often has this voice said to you:

“You can’t do it. You are inadequate.”

“You are stupid and ugly.”

“If he (or she) rejects you, it is because you are not okay.”

“You had better do it right. If you don’t, everyone will know that you are a fraud.”

“It is NOT okay to make a mistake.”

…and so on.

This inner critic speaks with such authority that it is tempting to believe what it says. Yet is knows only lies. It knows nothing of who you really are.

When this voice is criticizing you, it is criticizing the “you” that it thinks you are &ndash your ego wounded self. The critic, having come into being to help you survive and protect you from rejection, long ago decided that who you really are is not good enough. When you experienced judgment or rejection from the important people in your life, you likely concluded that you were being rejected because you weren’t good enough or lovable enough or worthy enough or smart enough or attractive enough…and so on. You may have had no idea when you were being judged or rejected, rather than loved and accepted, that it actually had nothing to do with you. You probably had no idea that you cannot CAUSE another person to be judgmental or rejecting, or loving and accepting. You likely had no idea that others’ behavior is not under your control.

If you believed that you were causing others to judge or reject you, you may have decided that who you really are is not good enough. So you started to judge and reject yourself as you attempted to create a “self” that would be loved and accepted. The inner critic &ndash your ego wounded self &ndash is the self you created. You came to believe that if you judged yourself enough, you would make yourself into an acceptable person.

The problem is that none of this is true. There never was anything wrong with your true Self, your essence, your soul. It was, and is, a perfect expression of the Source from which we are all a part.

When your wounded self is criticizing you, it is criticizing your looks, your intelligence, or your performance. But none of this is who you are.

Who you are &ndash what is truly worthy, lovable and valuable about you &ndash is your ability to love. Not how you look, not how smart you are, not how much money you have or how big your house is. Your true Self is an individualized expression of God (or whatever you want to call our Source), and God is Love.

Next time you hear the authoritative voice of your inner critic, instead of giving that voice credence, stop listening to that voice. Treat that voice with compassion, like a child who acts like it knows everything. Instead of acting on that voice, open instead to the voice of your true Self &ndash the voice of Truth.

Do this simply by asking, with a deep desire to learn, “What is the truth?” Your Higher Self will answer you. This Self is the true voice of authority, even though it may be much softer and gentler than the loud voice of your inner critic.

Each time you hear the critical voice, ask your Higher Self “What is the truth?” If you take action based on the Truth rather than on the false beliefs of your inner critic, you will find yourself feeling so much better in so many ways!

According to Work Life Today, flexibility and overwork are two of the major workforce issues of 2006. With over 33 percent of employees feeling overworked, employees need to find ways to ease the burden on their workers without allowing the costs to skyrocket.

Adding work to already overloaded employees is expected to worsen, since it is expected that the workforce is likely to decrease. The added burden of work on employees can cause problems in the balance of life and work for staff members, as they feel more overloaded with work. Also, with the new trends of employees paying for health insurance and having to dress more formally becoming more prominent, employers will have to find other ways to address the issue of balancing work and life for staff members that shoulder the burden of extra work.

Knowing why employees feel overworked is the first step in finding inexpensive ways to address the issue. Many managers misunderstand what overwork means to their staff. Even though Expedia.com reports that 63 percent of workers work more than 40 hours per week, being overworked is not just about the number of hours the person spends at the office. Most often, employees feel overworked due to having too much work to do in a given day or having too many menial versus challenging tasks. The employee that feels overworked can be costly to an employer, because people who are overworked tend to make more mistakes and harbor anger and resentment toward management and co-workers. People who feel overworked can sometimes lose track of important tasks, which then mean missed deadlines and lost clients.

Many of the issues associated with overwork come from finding a way to balance the burden of work with the things people need for everyday living. Today managers are being viewed as the gatekeepers to work/life balance, since many people continue to feel overwhelmed by the load of work in both their professional and personal lives. With over 26 percent of employees refraining from taking vacation or sick days because they worry about the amount of work that will be piled in their inboxes when they return, it is no longer just about the benefits like insurance or vacation time that appeal to the employee. Potential new hires and current employees want to know that the company cares about them as people, not as a worker-bee. This means that employers need to be more creative in how they approach the feeling of overwork so that employees are more productive and satisfied in both their professional and personal lives.

So what are some ways that employers can fulfill this new role of Gatekeeper? While some companies are offering incentives for people to take vacations, many companies are turning to trainings and personal concierge services to assist their employees to feel less overworked. For instance, one company decided that they wanted staff members to begin dressing more professionally. So they offered people trainings on how to put together professional outfits. Another company offered a company that would assist people in shopping for professional clothing. Trainings can also help people learn how to manage their time better, how to use a wardrobe for success, and even how to succeed in upward mobility.

However, the most recent, and low-cost, trend has companies using a corporate concierge service that will take care of the little things so that the employees focus will be on the big things. For some people, taking care of the grocery shopping, clothing purchases, birthday presents, and more can allow their focus to be directed at work. People have found that they can focus more on their work when someone else is taking care of picking up the dry cleaning or getting their oil changed.

According to BusinessKnowHow.com, overwork is one of the top reasons why many people get frustrated and leave their jobs. Whether you are looking to retain the employees you have or you are looking to attract quality new hires, one of the issues you will need to address is overwork. When employees see that you are trying to meet their needs and make their overall lives better, you will find that production will increase and an overall sense of well being will fill your office. Using trainings, incentives, and personal concierge services can bring about the best in your staff without costing you a fortune.

What is stress?

Although we tend to think of stress as caused by external issues, issue in themselves are not stressful. It is the way in which we interpret and react to them that makes them stressful. People differ enormously in the type of events they interpret as stressful and the way in which they respond to such stress.

Stress is generally created when the demands made on a person start to exceed that person’s ability, or perceived ability to cope. Essentially a gap is created between what a person needs/wants to do, and what they feel they are able to do.

Many things or even the anticipation of them can lead to stress:

* Pressure to achieve/perform

* Problems at work

* Bullying

* Financial problems

* Arguments

* Family issues

* Divorce

* Bereavement

* Depression

* Unemployment

* Moving house

* Alcohol or drug abuse

Physical Symptoms of Stress may include:

* Tiredness

* Headaches

* Frequent colds

* Trouble sleeping

* Muscular aches/tension

* Nausea

* Sweating, feeling hot and bothered

Emotional and Mental Symptoms of Stress may include:

* Anger

* Anxiety

* Depression

* Irrational fears

* Mood swings

* Irritability

* Frustration

* Poor concentration

* Confusion

* Loss of sense of humour

* Negative thoughts

* Feeling of overwhelmed

* Feeling out of control

* Loss of motivation

Tackling stress

There are many strategies that can help you deal with stress:

* Realise that it is ok to be stressed and cut yourself some slack

* Try to understand what stresses you and why

* Avoid obvious stressful confrontations/situations

* Learn to be more assertive

* Take regular exercise

* Reduce alcohol

* Eat a balanced healthy diet

* Recognise your limits and learn to say no

* Organise your time better

* Keep your work/home space organised and tidy

* Talk to friends or family

* Listen to relaxing music, or read

* Take time out to relax

Alternatively you may benefit complementary therapies like aromatherapy, acupuncture and reflexology.

If your stress level is making it impossible for you to function as normal, it is perhaps worth seeing your GP as extreme or long-lasting stress can be very bad for your health, not to mention your relationships, so it is better to see a doctor sooner rather than later. Your GP can then advise you on the best course of action.

Stress, like the weather, is ever present in our lives. While unavoidable, we can make it more manageable, just as we can dress appropriately to suit weather conditions. Stress, defined as our reactions to external situations or internal psychological states, affects our physical health and emotional well-being. Despite all the advice that has been written about stress, why are so many of us overwhelmed by it?

One reason is that we find it difficult to accept that living itself causes various forms of stress, making it impossible to eliminate. Nor is all stress bad. The satisfying excitement of achievements and happy events in our lives result in a stress that we welcome. But it is realistic to avoid–or at least reduce–the harmful forms of psychological stress (e.g., worries, anxieties, fears, irritability and depression) and the damaging physiological reactions (e.g., increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, muscular tensions, and an impaired immune system). Stress may also cause us to behave destructively.

Let me say that in coping with stress, we should avoid ineffective or self-defeating techniques, including overindulgence in alcohol, smoking and the use of illegal drugs. These temporary methods not only fail to relieve stress but cause more damage–physically, emotionally, relationship and job- wise. Users become addicted to them and all too often spiral out of control.

Another approach to controlling stress is the use of psychotropic drugs prescribed by physicians. But as a psychologist, I use behavioral and other psychotherapeutic techniques. With most people, these treatments are effective. But they involve the persons participating in their own recovery. However, if the person’s stress is severe, medical consultation could be indicated. Knowledgeable physicians will treat their patients with an effective drug that has the fewest side effects and will follow up on the patient’s progress. They will also reduce or eliminate the medication when the stress is manageable. The patient should not hesitate to question the psychiatrist about the medications and their effects. Often, psychotherapy may be indicated to make more effective and lasting progress.

Physical causes for stresses should not be overlooked. A good physical work-up may be necessary to find out if medical treatment is indicated. Sometimes, medications themselves can cause stress reactions. In considering the cause of stress, we may need to play detective.

Let us keep in mind that people differ in their coping styles. Even with the loss of a loved one, a relationship breakup, losing one’s job or a serious financial setback, some people are more resilient. Others recover more slowly or are even stymied in moving on with their lives. Those whose suffering is severe or lengthy should not avoid seeking professional help. As a consumer advocate, I would suggest that the person consider the various treatment options and consider the pros and cons of each.

Strange as it may sound, stress can be helpful! Like pain, it can motivate us to make changes in our lives or to obtain the necessary treatment that can not only reduce stress, but also improve our lives. I can give two examples in my own life. One concerned a job that was damaging my physical health and psychological well-being. Those stresses made me quit the job, return to school and change my career. A second was an overwhelming workload and a weight gain that were taking a physical and emotional toll on my health. I switched to a nutritious eating pattern and started practicing meditation techniques; both improved my physical and psychological health. I must admit that I had the same difficulties as my patients in overcoming these self-destructive patterns. While we are creatures of habit, we can be motivated to change if we strive for health, longevity and greater happiness.

Having used myself as a case study let me give an example from my psychotherapy practice. A patient worked for two years without a pay raise. Finally, he was encouraged to approach his supervisor. He discovered that the supervisor was unaware of the situation and promptly got the patient his raise. This problem arose because of a personnel glitch and the patient’s not speaking up sooner. He had underestimated how valued a worker he was. His insecurities contributed to the problem! As a result off this experience, he was also able to consider other situations in his life that he could confront.

But let’s be realistic. Another supervisor could have acted differently and defensively. If he had, my patient could have considered all possible options, such as appealing to a director, looking for another job or biding his time if he was not ready to quit. While not wanting to unnecessarily prolong our suffering, we should avoid acting impulsively. It is best to carefully consider our options, including a change in the situation. For several of my patients the difficult supervisor was transferred or quit. Since we are each unique, there are no boilerplate solutions. Know thyself is a good maxim. One person may find it better to quit, another to bide his time. But each should consider the consequences of each choice.

Let me now mention couple relationships which offer not only many satisfactions but, as we all know, stresses as well. While we realize “talking it over” is helpful, all too often, each person goes into the defensive or critical mode. Criticizing and complaining are counter-productive, escalate the conflict and make a bad situation worse. Communication, while highly desirable, has to be constructive All too often we ignore the basic ground rules of effective communication. They include: a calm situation where both are willing to spend the necessary time to listen as well as talk. Rather than criticizing, or complaining and defensively not admitting to any fault, just listen. Don’t neglect to say what you like about the other person and the positive aspects of the relationship. If neither existed, why would you want to remain in such a relationship? Present the difficulties in perspective. I can’t go into all of the effective communication techniques that help resolve conflicts, but be assured there are many. If such discussions don’t help, consider other alternatives, including couple counseling. If your partner is unwilling to go, consider going yourself to get help as to what to do. Often, the partner who’s unwilling to come may change his or her mind. With a skilled therapist, couple counseling will help both persons realize what each is doing to contribute to the problems and what each can do to improve the situation.

One recent example is the couple that came to me, the wife saying, “He threw me out!” while the husband said, “She left and wouldn’t return.” It soon became clear that after a heated argument, he told her, “If you’re unhappy, you can leave.” After she left, she refused to return. By the way, anger, a stress itself, interferes with listening and thinking. The couple, after several sessions, realized that their intentions were not to end the relationship but rather that their words were expressing anger and frustration. They decided to again live together and in counseling learned to discuss and resolve their conflicts more rationally. If all efforts fail to resolve differences, couples may consider divorce to end a futile situation. Hopefully, each can learn from the experience and move on with their lives. If there are children, the couple should avoid involving them in their conflict and reduce as much as possible the damaging effects on them.

Let me summarize my approach, which is appreciably condensed in this brief article. First, realize stress is an inescapable aspect of living and may even prod us into improving our lives. Two, consider the causes of the stress (don’t leave yourself out!) and the options for reducing or eliminating it. Three, realize that many stressful situations have developed over time and may be complicated. So don’t expect instant solutions. Consider solutions a process in which we may be stymied, enter blind alleys, make blunders, but always consider the ways to recover and better resolve the situation. Four, realize that reactions to stress are not limited to fight or flight. Our human species has the capabilities for considering constructive options if we are motivated, realistic, persistent, flexible and are open to getting professional help. And lastly, realize that a realistically optimistic attitude can be maintained or learned if necessary to help us effectively handle the stresses in our lives and live more happily.

Tension, stress, anxiety, depression, and other disorders are a gift of the modern world to all of us. Our ancestors did not know the meaning of these words. But all of us suffer from them some time in our life? Quiz yourself about your tension. If you are tense, you should get out of it as soon as possible otherwise the tension will one day make your life very sad? How to find that out? Let us quiz ourselves.

Think of yourself when you get up. Do you get up with a spring in your body and smile on your face? Or do you hate waking up? Or when you get up, your mind is full of the incomplete work? Think about what commonly happens when you get up in the morning. That gives us an indication about the tension. If we do not get up with a cheery heart that means that tension has overwhelmed us. That is not good. One day that will show as a stress related disease and some of them are very dangerous.

Quiz yourself while you are driving to the office or traveling by the train. Are you carefree? Are you enjoying the sights around? Or you are looking at your watch after every five minutes and thinking of the day ahead and so much to finish? You can understand what I am saying, is it not so? Unfortunately all the beautiful sights are lost to us, because most of us do not live in the present. We live in the past and the future. The guilt of the past actions and the expectations of future problems overwhelm our present moment. We do not cross the bridge when it comes. We cross it hundreds of times in our imagination. Quiz your lifestyle and if you realize that you are living a tense life, try to relax and take it easy.

It is estimated that seventy-five percent of the general population experiences at least some form of stress every two weeks. In accordance with this statistic half of the seventy-five percent of people experience moderate to severe levels of stress each week. These numbers add up to millions of people who experience stress on a regular basis. Lets face the truth life is stressful. We have to contend with personal, financial, professional stressors each day. Most westerners suffer from unhealthy stress levels caused from work. Stress is an unhealthy part of our lives that can be eliminated.

Stress contributes to “silent killers” such as high blood pressure, heart disease, strokes and several other fatal illnesses. On top of this alarming fact stress also affects the immune system, lowering our chance to fight off serious infections and diseases. Stress is not only a headache but if an individual is not relieved from stress then this can lead to illness or even death. It is very important to receive assistance in relieving stress.

Hypnosis is a successful way to relieve stress. The power of hypnosis works at a subconscious level. When a client undergoes hypnosis positive suggestions that include confidence building statements and motivational encouragement go to work to create new values, beliefs and thinking patterns. A client will learn to visualize themselves without stress. After the client has visualized themselves stress free the client will “feel” how great it is to live without stress. This is an amazing process that has worked for so many people.

When a client undergoes hypnosis the client is put into a deep, comfortable state of relaxation. It is during this deep state of relaxation that our subconscious mind is receptive to new ideas and perspective. The new ideas and perspectives that are introduced will lay the groundwork for a specific plan of how to relieve stress. A client will be able to handle work, family, financial situations and more without having stress. This is a happier and healthier way to live.

Hypnosis has so many wonderful benefits such as an improved self-esteem, greater confidence and a happier life. If you want to change you life by relieving yourself of stress then hypnosis is the perfect solution. As a practicing hypnotherapist I recommend that you seek the services of a qualified hypnotherapist that is located near you. Hypnosis can help you lead a better life by helping to relieve stress and so much more.

John Robbins, the heir to the Baskin-Robbins ice cream fortune, stated on the Coast to Coast radio show that one of the surprises of his research into cultures known for their longevity, was the importance of love and healthy relationships. Loneliness and negative interactions can depress the functioning of the body’s systems and lead to poor health, Robbins reported. “I believe that ultimately it is the love in our lives that underlies and makes possible our greatest healing and longevity.”

I have also heard that the number one killer in our society is not cancer or heart disease &ndash it is loneliness. This is not a surprise to me, as loneliness is often the underlying feeling that so many people attempt to avoid with their various addictions.

People in cultures known for their longevity do not live alone. Before modern civilization, people did not live alone. Our civilized way of life has led to the loneliness that is endemic in our society.

We are not meant to live alone. We are meant to live in caring communities with people to turn to for love and connection, and for help when we need it. Love, connection and support are vital for our health and wellbeing.

Without caring family, community, or friends to turn to, we lack the connection with others that we all need. However, in order to feel connected with others, we first need to be connected with ourselves.

We all need the feeling of inner connection that comes from being tuned in to ourselves and to our personal source of spiritual guidance. We need the feeling of inner connection that comes from taking loving care of ourselves &ndash physically, emotionally and spiritually. But the goal of inner connection is not being alone. When we connect with ourselves and with our spiritual guidance, we fill ourselves with love &ndash and we then want to share that love with others.

No matter how inwardly connected we are, we are not islands unto ourselves. We need others with whom to share our love and our joy. We need others to play with and learn with. And we need others to turn to in times of sadness and grief. Without this, we feel lonely.

Loneliness is one of the hardest feelings to feel. The feeling itself can be experienced as life threatening since we could have died as babies if we were left alone for too long. We can feel lonely in many different situations: when we are alone and have no one with whom to share love, when we are with people who are not open to connecting with us, and when we are with people and we are not open to connecting with them.

The feeling of loneliness may be so painful that you turn to various addictions to avoid the feeling. Many people do not even know that they are feeling lonely because they respond addictively so quickly. They the grab the food, the drink, the drug, the cigarette, turn on the TV, get busy, or get angry before they are aware of having a feeling, and then wonder why they cannot stop their addictions. Often people become addicted to a dysfunctional relationship and cannot leave for fear of the loneliness and disconnection. When people are not connected with themselves and their spiritual guidance, they may have a connection addiction, constantly pulling on others for the connection they so desperately need.

Continual loneliness and the inner aloneness from inner disconnection, create much stress in the body, which leads to illness. In addition to proper nutrition and exercise, one reason certain cultures live long and healthy lives is that they have love and connection with others always available to them.

Do not discount the power and importance of inner and relationship connection. If you want optimal health, you need to take the action in your own behalf to seek out loving and caring people and to do the inner work necessary to become a loving and caring person with yourself and with others.

This article is about health problems and how some people let these problems get them down too easily. By thinking in a more positive way they are more likely to see a positive outcome. I hope you enjoy the read.

I once had a neighbour who was about sixty-five. She was such a negative person, very rarely smiled and seemed to moan about almost everything. Her name was Nancy.

When I first moved to this particular area, I tried to make friends with the people who lived close to me. When I first met Nancy she kept saying how ill she felt and about how her back was playing her up. I went away from this meeting feeling quite sorry for Nancy.

Around two weeks later I bumped into Nancy again. I aked her in a very positive and upbeat way, how she was. I wish I had not bothered as I then had to listen to all of her problems. She did not have one happy thing to say. Over the next few years of living by Nancy, I actually went out of my way to avoid her.

I have to admit that I also used to feel sorry for myself. I grew up with a speech impediment known as a stutter. I often used to wonder as to why I was given this problem. It did not seem fair to me as I believed I was a really nice person. I would often think as to why god had not given Craig the impediment as he was a nasty piece of work.

I lived with the stutter until the age of twenty-two and then began to have a change of attitude. Instead of looking at people who I thought were more fortunate than myself, I started to read and hear about people who were far less fortunate. By watching the news on the television, I saw some images and heard stories from other countries which made me realise how stupid I had been. I may have had a stutter but compared to other people in the world I am very fortunate.

When people ask me how I am, I always give a positive answer even if I feel terrible. I try and walk around with a smile on my face and am now living life to the full. I have also managed to overcome that horrible stutter.

People like Nancy could do with having the same change in attitude and they may find they have more visitors to their house and that some of their ailments disappear.

Take some of the stress out of the holidays by getting organized now. The key to holiday organizing is to start early, take baby steps, and make lists (i.e. gifts, budget, meals, cards, etc.). Now is also the time to go through clothes, toys, and other household items to make room for the presents soon to come.

Greeting cards can almost cause as much stress as shopping. Plan to complete your cards over a week or two. Gather all your letter-writing materials before you start, and keep them in one place until you finish. If you like to send a general update along with a personalized note, write that first. Then add a personal touch to a couple cards a day, and you will be finished in no time.

Before you ever step foot in a store, have everyone make gift lists (including stores). This way you can give to others what they want instead of something that will become clutter to them. Plus, you have one less decision to make. Make shopping easier by setting a deadline so you can enjoy the holiday season. The earlier you start and finish your shopping, the shorter the lines and better the selection. When you can, shop odd hours for a less hectic experience; avoid malls and post offices on the weekends if possible. Shop online when applicable. If you do not know what to get someone for a holiday present, think consumable; a consumable gift will probably not go to waste or add to the clutter. You can even have everyone contribute to a group meal or activity, or you can set up a Secret Santa exchange. When it comes time for wrapping, create a separate space with all necessary supplies so you can wrap easily and quickly, if necessary. For extra-large gifts, use a paper, holiday tablecloth for wrapping paper.

Do not overwhelm yourself by cleaning the house from top to bottom; concentrate on the public areas. Guests will appreciate your hard work and still be able to enjoy your company. If you tend to decorate similarly from year to year, take a picture of your decorations to speed the process next year. Prepare for unexpected guests; keep an inventory of quick food items such as cheese and crackers, tea and coffee, frozen cookies, etc. For your planned gatherings, allow enough time for cleaning, cooking, and decorating by counting back from the time of your party. Keep meals simple or ask guests to bring a dish to reduce your preparation time and stress. Delegate or ask for help with some of these activities; it will take a little of the stress off you and may even turn several of the chores in to fun.

Once all the festivities have passed, the idea of cleaning up and taking down the decorations may invite some of that stress back into your life. Stop it in its tracks &ndash have an informal “undecorating” party. Most chores take less time and are more fun when you have friendly company and a couple extra hands. When it comes to Christmas decorations and supplies, use appropriately sized storage containers that are sturdy and label, label, label! A couple extra minutes at the end of this season could save hours when it is time to decorate next year. This is also a good time to update your card list while everything is fresh in your memory. If it turns out you forgot someone this year, you can always send a New Year’s card.

Just remember, the holidays are about friends, family, and fun. Take the stress out of holiday preparations and enjoy the good times by preparing early, asking for help, and keeping it simple.