Ben danced to his own beat. He never listened to anyone, not his parents or his instructors. Ben’s motto was “I do it my own way.” As a consequence, Ben’s life was a series of bad decisions. He was unsuccessful in life. Nevertheless, Ben’s decision making never got any better. As the county guard shut the door to Ben’s cell, he ordered, “Lights out!” Ben screamed, “I’m the man! You can’t make me do anything.” The prison light goes out. Ben is left in the dark.
The Critical Decision
Have you ever wondered why some people continue to make bad decisions? You see million-dollar celebrities doing it. You can see this action in government officials and business leaders. There are no discriminators. From the very rich to the poorest of the poor, we see people caught in a vicious cycle of bad decision making. Sadly, we see it much closer than that. We witness relatives making those bad decisions. Despite all the wise counsel, the poor decisions continue.
Why is it important to teach people how to make better decisions? Anthony Robbins, author of Awakening the Giant Within, attributes good decision-making as a key attribute to a happy life. Bestselling author Brian Tracy argues, “The further you think into the future, the better decisions you will make in the present to assure that future becomes a reality.” Making better decisions improves the quality of one’s life.
Problem Identification
As a young advisor and college professor, I constantly hear students proclaim, “I’m grown.” This statement implies I don’t have to listen to anyone. I know best. Therefore, I can make my own decisions. Through series after series of bad decisions, the youth continues on merry ride of worsening consequences. Two things generally can stop this dead-end trap.
One lies in becoming more mature with age, and the other is experience. In going through a series of bad decisions, a wise person gains insight on the consequences of a bad decision. Every person, regardless of their background or social standing, can benefit from good decision-making techniques. Here are some key steps to use:
1. Define the problem or issues
2. Conduct research on the matter
3. Discuss with respected individuals with similar circumstances
4. Consider at least two alternatives
5. Select best decisions, based on your value system
6. Move on and accept any consequences
The Right Path
Making the right decision is a difficult process. No one will usually applaud your many good decisions; however, you will probably catch heat over the bad ones. Les Brown, author of How to Become the Person You Always Wanted to Be-No Matter What the Obstacle, explains, “Your values are not set by government or church leaders. Your values give you consistency in the way you approach life…By holding to your beliefs, you can always stay on track toward your dreams.”
Realize What No Other Can
Author: admin
We have thousands of choices we can explore in order to reach our ultimate destination. Some of these pathways appear safe, so many of us prefer to try this route. And while this path can be blissfully easy for awhile, and we feel safe, we fit-in, we have friends, family and jobs that are pretty “normal”….we can eventually run into a boulder that life has placed somewhere along the way. And it refuses to let us go around it. We can’t ignore it, we can’t pretend it isn’t there, and we can’t go through it unaware.
We can try to forcefully move this boulder….but it’s too heavy. We can find some lever to propel it away from us….but the boulder is heavier than any available lever…….So….what can we do?
Perhaps because we have no other choice, we alter our pathway. We go off the safe byway we have grown so accustomed to and we venture into the “wilderness”…where there are no boundaries, no guarantees, no other beings….It can be a scary time. The confusion. The fear of the unknown. The deep sense of loss. The indecisiveness about how to move beyond this nowhere place. It’s dark. It’s lonely. We are frightened at first….perhaps afraid we will get lost. But usually (what I have found) is that in taking this detour we grow braver. We see there are no monsters out there. We become more determined, We discover that each new off-shoot provides us new information about the world, the things that are possible in this world and even to our own astonishment of how much we have changed in our minds, our hearts and our thoughts.
Some of the things seen on this alternate route will be things no other person will ever be able to see in the exact same manner that we have seen them. We soon discover we would never go back to that “other” pathway again, for while it is indeed “safer”, it is so much more limiting and so much less colorful than the path that we find ourselves routing.
All of us have the capacity to be innovative. However a obstacle to getting us started may be a belief that we do not possess whatever genes it takes to be imaginative. If one believes they lack any sort of creativity, it is difficult to engage in the task of seeing things in a new light. And when one labels oneself a “noncreative” person, a self-fulfilling prophecy is set in motion, often prompting a person to retreat from considering even small changes in their script.
It is for this reason that one might consider not attempting to make major alterations in ones behavior all at once, but rather take small steps. Each successful small step serves as a reinforcer for taking the next step. Success breeds success. Remember, a creative step need not be measured by its length.
From a distance, you can see things you can’t see when you’re up close and personal. The difference is in working ON a circumstance rather than of operating IN it. It’s all too easy to plug away at something but miss the important distinctions needed to create an elegant result.
From high among the clouds, homes and highways appear tiny and toy-like. Looking out the window while riding in an airplane lends a unique perspective. Suddenly, our crowded and important cities seem like just a small part of a busy universe. Change of pace techniques like listening to calming music, taking a long walk , and meditation are all possible ways to disengage. Traveling to another location either actually or through a favorite book or film are also good ways of finding a new perspective. You open the door to greater intuition and increased serenity.
With a shift comes new perspectives, insights, and ahas. These sparks of insight are the reward for entering into and making friends with the dark unknown. Over time these sparks join together to illuminate a new vision for your future.
Indigenous people created a ritual space to help them handle the dark days of winter while waiting for the shift to increasing light. In the process they devised a way to hold the darkness so that it created a space of profound insights and hope.
Within The Seasons of Change, the Winter Solstice represents the time of darkness, the dark night of the soul. At first people feel lost, afraid, worried, even frantic because they can’t find a way out. It’s when they surrender to not knowing the answer that they relax into the darkness and merge within it in a way that changes how they see themselves. To ones grateful astonishment this does for you what you were certain you could not do for yourself. It solves the dilemma; it finds the way. And, all you need to do is follow.
Explore areas of your life that you love, and others that you fear. And don’t mind making some noise in the process….if that’s you. Feel life, choose to experience the power of the moment when you achieve something previously thought impossible and relish every single minute of it. You will know you have found your harbor, physical or otherwise, when you feel in your heart that you have been reborn into a life that is in this moment is just the right shape, size, and composition.