My Essay Blog

Ring the bells that still can ring.

Forget your perfect offering.

There is a crack, a crack in everything.

That’s how the light gets in.

–Leonard Cohen

Tucked away in the deepest heart of Japan, somewhere beyond city life, probably beyond country life, resting in a humble shack on a simple shelf in a nearly bare room, you can find a really powerful idea about beauty. This idea, this way of life, this way of being, goes against everything the contemporary American culture sells. It goes against perpetually new cars, updated wardrobes and model homes. It is so radical, it goes toe-to-toe with any notion that the way things are ~ even when they are falling apart ~ are not the way things ought to be.

The idea is scoffed at by those who inhumanely offer something more, and bigger and better. Yet if we can find our way past the standard-issue scoffing, hunt down this old idea, and recognize it as the pearl of great price, we can heal these painful beauty obsessions of ours. Really, we can.

What is this simple idea that has the power to take on an entire capitalistic culture, or at least the capitalistic culture within us? Wabi Sabi, the art and practice of honoring the imperfect.

Yes, there actually is a whole field of study and devotion to this very topic we are starving for. Wabi Sabi celebrates the cracked pot, the aged desk, the beaten up fishing rod, and the rusting bed frame that has become an outdoor border for a flower “bed” in the yard. It is Wabi, the “humble,” alongside Sabi, “the beauty of the natural progression of time.” (It is also much more and far deeper than that, but this is a start.) It leaves behind the pursuit of perfection while bringing appreciation to the simple, unaffected beauty of things as they are.

Which includes us. You and me, Wabi Sabi. The real us, below all our crazy attempts at being how we are supposed to be and all of our insecurities because we still have not pulled it off. Weathered by time, all our cockiness worn off, like the shine of brass on buckles and bangles, when we are Wabi Sabi we are simply beautiful because we exist. Nothing flashy. No need for a six-figure contract with options, bells and whistles. Just us, with our weathered faces that have seen every expression known to humanity, our often sagging or misshapen breasts, and the hips and thighs that have carried us through our history, the good times and the bad.

So… Getting older? Wabi Sabi’s got no problem with that. Wabi Sabi says that older things reveal their true nature in time. In many native cultures, a woman is not allowed to speak on topics requiring wisdom until she is at least fifty years old. These cultures get that the Wabi Sabi women have something special, maybe even sacred, to say. Yes, getting older is a good thing.

Looking weathered? Wonderful, you beautiful piece of Wabi Sabi driftwood, you. Gone from your original intended form to a new form through the slow tumbling of the ocean of life. How natural. How normal. How stunning. How Wabi Sabi.

Disheartened because you can’t have and do all “they” say you have to? How fabulous. Do a Wabi Sabi job of it. Then sleep the good sleep that comes after a simple, honest days work that you have let go of. Oh, heck, why wait? Why not take a Wabi Sabi nap right now?

Tired and near penniless from continually acquiring bright and shiny new playthings? Perfect time to say enough really is enough. The sun still shines, a free-for-all that is free for all. (By the way, one thing I’ve noticed about Wabi Sabi people. They actually see sunrises and sunsets on a regular basis.)

I know, I know. You hear what I’m saying. But you are still worried about what will happen if you get off the treadmill. So think on this: There Are Six Billion People In The World. Do you really think you are going to beat them all in the game of life? Is it really worth all that you have to do, give and give up (like your real life, for example), so you can master money, love, education, self-esteem, sexuality, heath, parents, children, and career, by the time you are&ndashwhat&ndash29?

It seems ridiculous to have to remind ourselves that life itself is birth and death, up and down, movement from newborn to middle age to older to ancient. That it is sheer insanity to wait to be happy until we have mastered the ability to balanced all of life on the head of a pin while standing on one hand. Yet we do, indeed, seem to need to remind ourselves. Often.

So let me remind you. There is nothing wrong with you. Even if you have problems. Problems are a fact of the human condition. How you co-exist with your problems is all that you can change. And since Wabi Sabi acknowledges that even how you are co-existing with your problems will inevitably be imperfect, you’re there. You’ve already arrived at the ideal Wabi Sabi state. Now, you can live. Just Live.

One of the easiest things to do when talking to someone is to start exchanging battle stories with them!

It simply begins by telling them about a time in your life when you went through something that you thought was devastating and how it either ruined you or how you overcame it.

Almost before you can complete your story, the other person jumps in and always seems to try to one up you with their own battle story.

Before you know it, you are in a conversation that seems to last forever because both of you are trying to outdo the other one with your stories.

If the truth be told, everyone in this world has a story to tell. Some of these stories end in tragedy and some in triumph. The sad thing is that, whether their tragedy was in the past, or they are currently experiencing a tragedy, they don’t realize that they still have the ability to turn it into a victory.

They are so focused on proving to the world that they have been done wrong, or that they are owed something for what they have gone through, they never realize that the world is slipping by.

Which category do you fall in?

Are you focused on your wounds and scars or have you been able to overcome them and succeed in life?

The other day, someone I know bought a leather couch. There was a tag on it and I found it to be very interesting. The tag said this:

“This product is not faulty or damaged. All the markings, scaring, and discolorations on this product are normal and enhance its natural beauty.”

In your own life, do you have a tag that reads like that or does your tag read more like this:

“This product has been unjustly damaged. All the markings, scaring, and discolorations on this product are the result of it being victimized. This is not normal and in no way enhances its natural beauty.”

I know that you may have had some very terrible things happen to you in your lifetime. But believe it or not, you have the ability to live your life with greatness and victory. You have the choice what your label says about you. You have the choice whether that label is a label of success or defeat.

You see, every scar, every mark, every burn has the potential to help change the lives of the people around you. How many other people have gone through similar circumstances and need someone like you to say to them:

See here, I’ve gone through the same thing. Here is my scar to prove it. I was able to overcome it and now I have greatness and success in my life. If I could do it, so can you.

Remember that greatness never comes easy. If it did, then everyone would reach their full purpose in life.

If you choose to, everything you have ever gone through, and everything that you will go through, has the potential to help you impact the lives of many other people in a positive way.

So what do you want your label to say?

What is stress?

Although we tend to think of stress as caused by external issues, issue in themselves are not stressful. It is the way in which we interpret and react to them that makes them stressful. People differ enormously in the type of events they interpret as stressful and the way in which they respond to such stress.

Stress is generally created when the demands made on a person start to exceed that person’s ability, or perceived ability to cope. Essentially a gap is created between what a person needs/wants to do, and what they feel they are able to do.

Many things or even the anticipation of them can lead to stress:

* Pressure to achieve/perform

* Problems at work

* Bullying

* Financial problems

* Arguments

* Family issues

* Divorce

* Bereavement

* Depression

* Unemployment

* Moving house

* Alcohol or drug abuse

Physical Symptoms of Stress may include:

* Tiredness

* Headaches

* Frequent colds

* Trouble sleeping

* Muscular aches/tension

* Nausea

* Sweating, feeling hot and bothered

Emotional and Mental Symptoms of Stress may include:

* Anger

* Anxiety

* Depression

* Irrational fears

* Mood swings

* Irritability

* Frustration

* Poor concentration

* Confusion

* Loss of sense of humour

* Negative thoughts

* Feeling of overwhelmed

* Feeling out of control

* Loss of motivation

Tackling stress

There are many strategies that can help you deal with stress:

* Realise that it is ok to be stressed and cut yourself some slack

* Try to understand what stresses you and why

* Avoid obvious stressful confrontations/situations

* Learn to be more assertive

* Take regular exercise

* Reduce alcohol

* Eat a balanced healthy diet

* Recognise your limits and learn to say no

* Organise your time better

* Keep your work/home space organised and tidy

* Talk to friends or family

* Listen to relaxing music, or read

* Take time out to relax

Alternatively you may benefit complementary therapies like aromatherapy, acupuncture and reflexology.

If your stress level is making it impossible for you to function as normal, it is perhaps worth seeing your GP as extreme or long-lasting stress can be very bad for your health, not to mention your relationships, so it is better to see a doctor sooner rather than later. Your GP can then advise you on the best course of action.

None of us like to think of ourselves as victims. The term “victim” brings to mind a pathetic image of a person who is powerless. Therefore, It comes as a shock to most of us to realize how often we allow ourselves to be emotional victims. Having counseled individuals, couples, families and business partners for 35 years, I know that many of us are victims much of the time without realizing it.

We are being victims anytime we give another person the power to define our worth. We are being victims anytime we make approval, sex, things, a substance, or an activity responsible for our feelings of happiness and lovability. We are being victims anytime we blame another for our feelings of fear, anger, hurt, aloneness, jealousy, disappointment, and so on. Whenever we choose to define ourselves externally, we are handing away power to others and we then feel controlled by their choices.

When we choose to define ourselves internally through our connection with our spiritual Guidance, we move into personal power and personal responsibility. The moment we sincerely want to learn about our own intrinsic worth and what behavior is in our highest good, and we ask Spirit, we will receive answers. Most people do not realize how easy it is to receive answers from a spiritual Source. The answers will pop into your mind in words or pictures, or you will experience the answers through your feelings, when your sincere desire is to learn.

We always have two choices: we can try to find our happiness, peace, safety, security, lovability and worth through people, things, activities, and substances; or we can feel joyful, peaceful, safe, secure, lovable and worthy through connection with a spiritual Source of love and compassion - taking loving care of ourselves and loving others.

Whenever we choose to find our happiness and safety through others, then we have to try to control them to give us what we want. Then, when they don’t come through for us in the way we hoped they would, we feel victimized by their choices.

Here is an example: Don and Joyce are in a continual power struggle over how to handle their children. Joyce tends to be authoritarian while Don is fairly permissive. When Joyce gets frustrated with Don’s parenting, she generally yells at him about his permissiveness. Don often listens to Joyce rant and rave at him. Sometimes she goes on for over an hour and he just listens. Then, when he tries to talk with her, she refuses to listen. Don then feels victimized, complaining about how Joyce yells at him and refuses to listen to him.

When I asked Don in a counseling session with him why he sits and listens to Joyce, he stated that he hoped if he listened to her she would listen to him. I asked if she ever does listen during these conflicts, and he answered “No.”

“Why do you need her to listen to you?”

“I want to explain to her why I did what I did with the children.”

“Why do you need to explain it to her?”

“So she won’t be mad at me.”

Don allows himself to be yelled at by Joyce as his way of trying to control Joyce, hoping to get her to approve of him. Then he tried to explain to further control how she feels about him. When she won’t listen, he feels victimized by her yelling, blaming her for being such an angry, controlling person.

If Don were willing to take responsibility for approving of himself through his connection with his Higher Power, he would not listen to Joyce when she was yelling at him. Instead, he would set a limit against being yelled at, stating that he would listen to her only when she spoke to him with respect and only when she was open to learning with him. But as long as she has to approve of him for him to feel secure or worthy, he will not set this limit. Until Don opens to his spiritual Guidance for his security and worth, instead of handing this job to Joyce, he will be a victim of her unloving behavior.

Taking responsibility for our own feelings of worth and lovability through developing our spiritual connection, instead of giving that job to others, moves us out of being victims and into personal power.

Emotional intimacy is one of the most wonderful experiences we ever have. Nothing else really comes close to the experience of sharing our deepest thoughts and feelings with another, of being deeply seen and known, of sharing love, passion, laughter, joy, and/or creativity. The experience of intimacy fills our souls and takes away our loneliness.

Why, then, would someone be afraid of intimacy?

It is not actually the intimacy itself that people fear. If people could be guaranteed that intimacy would continue to be a positive experience, they would have no fear of it. What they fear is the possibility of getting hurt as a result of being intimate with another.

Many people have two major fears that may cause them to avoid intimacy: the fear of rejection &ndash of losing the other person, and the fear of engulfment - of being invaded, of being controlled and losing oneself.

Because we have all learned to react to conflict with various controlling behaviors &ndash from anger and blame to compliance, withdrawal, and resistance - every relationship presents us with these issues of rejection and engulfment. If one person gets angry, the other may feel rejected or controlled and get angry back, give themselves up, withdraw or resist. If one person shuts down, the other may feel rejected and become judgmental, which may trigger the other’s fears of engulfment, and so on. These protective circles exist in one form or another in every relationship. When the fears of rejection and engulfment become too great, a person may decide that it is just painful to be in a relationship and they avoid intimacy altogether.

Yet avoiding relationships leads to loneliness and lack of emotional and spiritual growth. Relationships offer us the most powerful arena for personal growth, if we accept this challenge. So what moves us beyond the fear of intimacy?

The fear exists, not because of the experience itself, but because a person doesn’t know how to handle the situations of being rejected or controlled. The secret of moving beyond the fear of intimacy lies in developing a powerful loving adult part of us that learns how to not take rejection personally, and learns to set appropriate limits against engulfment.

When we learn how to take personal responsibility for defining our own worth instead of making others’ love and approval responsible for our feelings of worth, we will no longer take rejection personally. This does not mean that we will like rejection &ndash it means we will no longer be afraid of it and have a need to avoid it.

When we learn how to speak up for ourselves and not allow others to invade, smother, dominate and control us, we will no longer fear losing ourselves in a relationship. Many people, terrified of losing the other person, will give themselves up in the hope of controlling how the other person feels about them. They believe that if they comply with another’s demands, the other will love them. Yet losing oneself is terrifying, so many people stay out of relationships due to this fear. If they were to learn to define their own worth and stand up for themselves, the fear would disappear.

The Inner Bonding process we teach is a process designed to create a powerful inner adult self capable of not taking rejection personally and of setting limits against loss of self. Anyone can learn this six-step process and, with practice, heal fears of intimacy. Through practicing the Inner Bonding process, you learn to value and cherish who you really are and take full responsibility for your own feelings of worth, lovability, safety, security, pain and joy. When you deeply value yourself, you do not take rejection personally and become non-reactive to rejection. When you value yourself, you will not give yourself up to try to control another’s feelings about you. When you value yourself, you are willing to lose another rather than lose yourself.

You can start to learn the powerful Inner Bonding process now by downloading our Free Inner Bonding Course. Moving beyond your fears of intimacy will open you to the deep personal and spiritual growth that relationships can provide and the profound fulfillment and joy that loving relationships can offer.

Tension, stress, anxiety, depression, and other disorders are a gift of the modern world to all of us. Our ancestors did not know the meaning of these words. But all of us suffer from them some time in our life? Quiz yourself about your tension. If you are tense, you should get out of it as soon as possible otherwise the tension will one day make your life very sad? How to find that out? Let us quiz ourselves.

Think of yourself when you get up. Do you get up with a spring in your body and smile on your face? Or do you hate waking up? Or when you get up, your mind is full of the incomplete work? Think about what commonly happens when you get up in the morning. That gives us an indication about the tension. If we do not get up with a cheery heart that means that tension has overwhelmed us. That is not good. One day that will show as a stress related disease and some of them are very dangerous.

Quiz yourself while you are driving to the office or traveling by the train. Are you carefree? Are you enjoying the sights around? Or you are looking at your watch after every five minutes and thinking of the day ahead and so much to finish? You can understand what I am saying, is it not so? Unfortunately all the beautiful sights are lost to us, because most of us do not live in the present. We live in the past and the future. The guilt of the past actions and the expectations of future problems overwhelm our present moment. We do not cross the bridge when it comes. We cross it hundreds of times in our imagination. Quiz your lifestyle and if you realize that you are living a tense life, try to relax and take it easy.

Recently I have been reminiscing about my grandfather and all of the lessons he taught me. The funny thing is, I don’t even think he was aware that he was doing it. It wasn’t until much later in life that I became aware of what was being taught.

For instance, one warm day in Santa Cruz, California, I was helping him out in the fields near his property. With the neighbor’s permission, his plan was to expand the size of his field and add more crops. Back then a handshake and a gentlemen’s agreement is all that was needed to use each other’s land.

There I was, his proud assistant and like all assistants (especially grandchildren), I was sent to ‘go-fer’ this or that. This particular day he wanted me to go to the tool shed and bring back a certain tool. He needed a scythe, which was a long-handled implement with a curved blade used for cutting tall grass or grain.

I’m standing in the tool shed looking everywhere for that scythe. As does a typical child I yelled out “I can’t find it.”

He yells back in Italian “

Do you trust your feelings and take action for yourself based on your feelings? Many of us grew up learning to mistrust our feelings. “Don’t be ridiculous,” my mother often said to me when I asked her why she was angry. “I’m not angry,” she would say with anger in her voice. “Don’t be ridiculous” was what I often heard in response to many of my feelings. So I learned to mistrust my feelings. It took me many years of inner work to regain trust in my feelings.

Feelings are information. Our feelings such as anger, anxiety, depression, and hurt are letting us know that we are telling ourselves something that is not true, or treating ourselves in unloving ways. Our uncomfortable or lonely feelings around another person may be telling us that the other person is being judgmental, needy, angry, blaming or inauthentic.

For example, Sally consulted with me because she often found herself repulsed by her husband’s sexual advances. She was confused because she loved Tim very much, and there were times when she was sexually attracted to him. But most of the time she was turned off to him.

“Sally, when Tim approaches you for sex, what is his energy like?”

“Most of the time, I feel like he is pulling on me and demanding something from me. It doesn’t feel loving, it feels needy. But when I say something about it to him, he tells me that it us my issue &ndash that he loves me and just wants to express his love. I get so confused.”

Sally has a hard time trusting her feelings because her mother was constantly invalidating her feelings as she was growing up. She has the same problem with a neighbor:

“It seems to me that Chelsea is often subtly judging my daughter in front of her, yet when I’ve said something to her she makes me feel like it’s my issue.”

“Sally, if you decided to trust and honor your feelings, what would you do differently with Tim and Chelsea?”

“Humm…well, I think I would stop being so tentative and stop judging myself and be firm with them.”

“So what would you say to Tim when he is needy with you?”

“I would say, ‘Tim, I love you and I am turned on to you when you come to me with your love, but not when you come to me with this empty needy energy.’”

“What would you say to Chelsea?”

“I would say, ‘Chelsea, it is not okay to judge my daughter. If you keep doing this, I will not spend time with you.’”

“And what would you say or do if they tried to make it your issue?”

“I think I would say, ‘This doesn’t feel good,’ and then walk away.

“How would you feel if you did this?”

“I would feel great!”

Andrew has a similar issue with his wife Susan. Andrew often feels Susan is being what he calls “not real.” “There is something about her that is often inauthentic &ndash like she is being a certain way to get approval from me and from others. I feel smothered by it and I shut down. Then she complains about my withdrawal and about my not wanting to have sex with her. But when I try to explain it to her, she gets angry and defensive and tells me that I have a problem with intimacy.”

“Andrew, you are not trusting and honoring your feelings, which does create a problem with intimacy because you withdraw rather than speak your truth. If you were to totally trust your feelings when Susan is being inauthentic and pulling for approval, you would speak your truth instead of withdraw. Susan doesn’t know when she is being inauthentic. She is just confused by your withdrawal. If you learn to trust your feelings and honor them by telling your truth, you will likely see much improvement in your relationship.”

Andrew was surprised to learn that Susan actually appreciated hearing his truth, and their relationship is gradually improving.

John Robbins, the heir to the Baskin-Robbins ice cream fortune, stated on the Coast to Coast radio show that one of the surprises of his research into cultures known for their longevity, was the importance of love and healthy relationships. Loneliness and negative interactions can depress the functioning of the body’s systems and lead to poor health, Robbins reported. “I believe that ultimately it is the love in our lives that underlies and makes possible our greatest healing and longevity.”

I have also heard that the number one killer in our society is not cancer or heart disease &ndash it is loneliness. This is not a surprise to me, as loneliness is often the underlying feeling that so many people attempt to avoid with their various addictions.

People in cultures known for their longevity do not live alone. Before modern civilization, people did not live alone. Our civilized way of life has led to the loneliness that is endemic in our society.

We are not meant to live alone. We are meant to live in caring communities with people to turn to for love and connection, and for help when we need it. Love, connection and support are vital for our health and wellbeing.

Without caring family, community, or friends to turn to, we lack the connection with others that we all need. However, in order to feel connected with others, we first need to be connected with ourselves.

We all need the feeling of inner connection that comes from being tuned in to ourselves and to our personal source of spiritual guidance. We need the feeling of inner connection that comes from taking loving care of ourselves &ndash physically, emotionally and spiritually. But the goal of inner connection is not being alone. When we connect with ourselves and with our spiritual guidance, we fill ourselves with love &ndash and we then want to share that love with others.

No matter how inwardly connected we are, we are not islands unto ourselves. We need others with whom to share our love and our joy. We need others to play with and learn with. And we need others to turn to in times of sadness and grief. Without this, we feel lonely.

Loneliness is one of the hardest feelings to feel. The feeling itself can be experienced as life threatening since we could have died as babies if we were left alone for too long. We can feel lonely in many different situations: when we are alone and have no one with whom to share love, when we are with people who are not open to connecting with us, and when we are with people and we are not open to connecting with them.

The feeling of loneliness may be so painful that you turn to various addictions to avoid the feeling. Many people do not even know that they are feeling lonely because they respond addictively so quickly. They the grab the food, the drink, the drug, the cigarette, turn on the TV, get busy, or get angry before they are aware of having a feeling, and then wonder why they cannot stop their addictions. Often people become addicted to a dysfunctional relationship and cannot leave for fear of the loneliness and disconnection. When people are not connected with themselves and their spiritual guidance, they may have a connection addiction, constantly pulling on others for the connection they so desperately need.

Continual loneliness and the inner aloneness from inner disconnection, create much stress in the body, which leads to illness. In addition to proper nutrition and exercise, one reason certain cultures live long and healthy lives is that they have love and connection with others always available to them.

Do not discount the power and importance of inner and relationship connection. If you want optimal health, you need to take the action in your own behalf to seek out loving and caring people and to do the inner work necessary to become a loving and caring person with yourself and with others.

As life coaching is gaining popularity, so is interest in becoming a life coach. Many people love the idea of working for themselves and being in a profession that helps others. If you are thinking about becoming a life coach, there are several factors you need to consider.

First, decide what type of life coach you want to become. The word “life” covers a lot of territory so life coaches tend to specialize in specific areas. These areas include career and finance, goal setting, relationships, weight loss/fitness and drugs and alcohol, just to name a few.

What is your passion and how do you want to inspire others to create success in their lives?

When thinking about what type of life coach you want to be, examine your career, education and life experience to find your current strengths.

Once you have an idea of what area you want to focus on, consider what a life coach does. This is tricky because there is no one definition or universal standard so several interpretations exist. You need to develop a format in which you will teach successful actions to your clients.

A qualified life coach can break down goals into manageable, easier to confront steps while showing the client effective techniques for completing them. Just knowing what and how is not enough because clients often get in their own way. The life coach will evaluate their progress and motivate them to implement a plan with consistent action to actually achieve desired results. Before you begin on this path, know that there is a difference between understanding what to do and being able to get someone to do it.

There are three essential elements involved in becoming a life coach and they are training, skills and education. When it comes to training, there are many life coaching academies that offer courses and some even offer accreditation. Many of these courses have actual and practical value. Please note that there is no federal or state agency that has an accreditation for life coaching and schools offering degrees are self-accredited.

If you are considering taking any of these courses first look into the costs involved. Often an inexpensive introductory course is offered only to get you started. Since costs can add up quickly, check into the length of time, the number of additional courses required and make sure to get referrals from other students. Another important point to check for first is whether or not the school provides adequate tools for practical application when working with clients. This will be very helpful for beginners in developing step-by-step methods for life coaching.

There are a few key skills that are absolutely essential. For starters, you need to be a good listener, a creative problem solver and have considerable knowledge of human behavior. You need to be able to set goals and develop plans of action to actualize them. Life coaching requires that you are organized and can keep meticulous attention to detail to monitor weekly results.

Patience and the ability to deal with frustration are critical. Clients don’t always do what they agree to do and getting people to suddenly give up destructive behavior patterns can be a real challenge. You need to know how to motivate and be creative in overcoming obstacles and objections. You have to really like and care about people. You must also be able to accept failure as not all clients will change. There are a few more skills involved but these are fundamental.

A life coach should love education in order to stay informed of current advances and trends. The areas that require consistent study are psychology, goal setting, motivation, cognitive psychology, cognitive science, human behavior, habits of successful people, sleep patterns, relationships, business principles, principles of success, career development, drugs, alcohol, leadership, sales and more. A life coach is a relentless student of these subjects.

Life coaching is a proactive approach to resolving obstacles in an individual’s life and it requires a clear picture of not only why and how, but also of step-by-step implementation and the ability to resolve blocks and setbacks as they come up. You’ll need to combine these factors into a working platform to assist your clients in reaching their goals.

Finally, when you are ready to start life coaching, how are you going to get clients? The idea of working for yourself and helping people may sound great, and it is but it comes with its difficulties. You are not going to simply get business cards made then start filling your appointment book. Schools offering great careers as life-coaches will only be able to give you limited assistance in getting clients. After you spend your time and money either with a life coaching school or developing your own style of life coaching it will be up to you to get clients. You are one hundred percent responsible for your income and success.

You should enjoy networking and self-promoting. You can build a clientele through friends, networking groups, placing ads, professional relationships, and whatever other creative ways you can think of. As you get clients and earn a reputation, your business will grow through referrals. All this takes time, so be prepared.

As you are developing your business, you will have to overcome the obstacle of people questioning what a life coach does. Be prepared by asking yourself why someone would pay you to advise him or her and have a good answer. The answer you develop to that question will be the foundation for your success.

After considering all of these factors, if you decide to become a life coach you will be entering a dynamic field. Being able to actually help people create the life changes they want is a highly rewarding and exciting career. You’ll be helping others gain success while creating your own!