My Essay Blog

Are you stuck in a rut? Do you ever feel that you are being perpetually driven; that life is a never-ending round of rushing from here to there, or from one chore to another, with no time for relaxation? That money worries &ndash how to pay those rising bills, or where the next payment is coming from for your children’s education, your family’s healthcare, your house mortgage &ndash occupy your mind much of the time, or that relationships with your family or spouse suffer because you haven’t got time to spend with them &ndash you’re working all the hours there are to pay the bills after all, aren’t you. Things never seem to go right, no matter how hard you try, and feeling frustration and discontent has become a part of what you are. You long for the day when you can get just a little time for yourself, and do some of those things you always wanted. Without knowing it, you may have programmed yourself for unhappiness and failure.

But what if there is a way to say goodbye to fear, anger, worry, and all those other negative emotions? What if you can transform your life so that you can obtain all the things you ever wanted? You can you know. The powerful and secret techniques taught by manifestation can do just that. Learning to become a Master Manifestor is your blueprint to success, prosperity and personal fulfilment. Using the inside knowledge of manifestation, you can discover how to implement your ideas and dreams in a simple and stress-free way to dramatically change your life for the better.

Manifesting is an ancient science (over 1500 years old), and although the manifestation techniques are largely unknown to the modern world, the tried and trusted methods have proven to work and are needed now, more than ever. By manifestation you can attract good fortune to yourself, financial and personal, and work magic in your life. Radically different from any other self-help programme &ndash in fact you can realistically throw away 90% of every self-help book you’ve ever collected &ndash this Manifesting Mindset will transform the way you think on all levels. A new departure in self-improvement, it will harness the physical laws of the universe to create anything you desire: attract love and romance, make your perfect job appear, eliminate stress and low esteem, lose weight, find abundance and financial freedom. Consciously draw life-affirming experiences to yourself.

Anyone can learn the art of manifestation. Regardless of what you’ve been conditioned to believe, it is available to ALL of us. Why not give it a try and see where it takes you.

Penelope Housden

Transformational Counseling is a process of assisting others to transform their lives. Transformational Counseling is a process of assisting others in their reinventing themselves, of creating a life that they love and living it powerfully. Transformational Counseling is a process of creating a space for others to get present to or become aware of their self limiting belief, to create or invent a possibility for themselves and their life that could not have existed before and to learn how to be in their possibilities as opposed to being that which has always stopped them in the past.

The development of transformational counseling has been the result of my work in counseling, psychotherapy, coaching, hypnosis, neuro linguistic programming, the work of Louise Hay and especially Landmark Education. To understand and be able to utilize the technology of Transformational Counseling with others, of being able to make a true difference in another person’s life, requires that one understand or get certain concepts or distinctions about what it is to be a human being and reality itself. While the distinctions of Transformational Counseling are initially presented separately, it is in their practice or communication with another that a true synergy is reached and it’s potential or power actualized for the client. For the counselor as well as the client the synergistic learnings that take place within Transformational Counseling is nonlinear in nature.

The clients that I work with are all experiencing a loss of power, freedom and full self-expression in one or many of the various domains of their life. The clients that I see are all being stopped in living a life that they love and living it powerfully. If they continue being as they have been being nothing will change, life will be as it has always been. They will remain stuck and unable to reach their true potential in life. The clients that I coach or counsel know that something needs to be different in their life but are unsure of what that something is all about, of what is not working, of what is missing, of what needs to happen. It is in assisting a client to discover or become present to that which has been causing their depression, sadness, anger, frustration, etc. and to learn how to create a new way of being that the work of Transformational Counseling is all about.

One of the fundamental distinctions of Transformational Counseling is that our thoughts are very important, if not the most important component of what it is to be a human being. We tend to believe that the external world, or what we commonly believe to be reality, is that which is truly important. As a result of such a belief, we are constantly engaged in trying to change something in the external world, constantly believing that this type of activity will bring us true happiness and contentment in our life. Within Transformational Counseling, it is our thoughts or thinking that is of immense importance to us and our process of living. It is our thoughts and thinking patterns that literally shape or determine our feelings, behavior, experiences and our reality. More specifically, it is our thoughts that we have about ourselves that tends to create or shape our experiences, that forms the background of our life and our sense of reality. It is from the thoughts that we initially create about ourselves that we subsequently develop into a belief about who we think we are, our self-image, of how we define our very being and it is from this belief that we live our life. A belief is merely a thought that we think is true or real, that expresses some sense of ontology.

Inside the conversation of Transformational Counseling it is also important to understand that we are truly responsible for the thoughts that we have, including and especially those that we have about ourselves. We literally invent or create all of our thoughts including those that we have about ourselves and with them our feelings and behaviors. To truly get our responsibility in how we create our experiences or reality is to also get how we create or invent all of our thoughts about ourselves and with it our reality. Reality itself has no meaning outside of what we give it. We are, as human beings, meaning making machines, beings that wrap meaning around everything in our life, including and most importantly about ourselves. Being responsible for our thoughts, getting it that we create them, is completely different from the experience of guilt or blame. It is not that we are to blame for our experiences but merely that we do create what we think about ourselves, who we think we are, how we feel about ourselves and how the world appears to us. There is a distinction between responsibility and blame or guilt.

What we tend to think about ourselves has at its core what can be referred to as our self-limiting belief. The self-limiting belief is a thought that we have about who we think we are, that defines our identity at its core, a belief that was developed between the ages of three to six approximately. During this time frame in our journey through life something happened, an event took place and it is from that event that we developed or created a thought or belief about ourselves. The original event is not so much of importance as the fact that we created a belief about ourselves, a belief that has actually limited us in life. The self-limiting belief is a sense of inadequacy, an idea or thought that something is wrong with us, that something is broken. Once this self-limiting belief is created or invented we tend to live our lives as if it were true. Our self-limiting belief is a fundamental, core belief that we have about ourselves, about who we think we are, that creates our feelings about ourselves, affects our behavior and determines our experiences.

Our self-limiting belief affects our behavior in that we are constantly trying to fix it. For example, if ones self-limiting belief is that the individual is “not enough”, that person will constantly try to be “enough”, constantly be doing things to compensate for what or who they think they are. While an individual is constantly attempting to fix it, the self-limiting belief is also in the process of fulfilling upon itself, of becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy, of causing the person to be “not enough.” Given the fact that ones self-limiting belief is hidden from them, from their view, we are not aware of its existence or its affect on our life, of its influence or impact on our life. Even though it is not true, not real, we believe it to be so and as a result the self limiting belief is that which keeps us stuck, keeps us living in the past, prevents us from living a life that we love and living it powerfully. Our self-limiting belief is in a very real sense our personal affirmation, an affirmation that is embedded in our “self talk”, an affirmation that determines how we tend to feel about ourselves, an affirmation that guides and determines our behavior in life, that defines our very way of being and how we appear to the world.

The first goal of Transformational Counseling is to assist an individual in becoming present to his or her self-limiting belief, of bringing it into ones awareness. It is this distinction or awareness of ones self-limiting belief that is crucial to his or her transformation. Without such awareness ones future will be as it has been, will be what can be referred to as the “probable almost certain future”. Without such awareness, ones future will merely be the past and even with a constant attempt on the individual’s part to fix the self-limiting belief, his or her life will merely be to continue with its fulfillment and actualization in their experiences and life. Awareness of ones self limiting belief can be gotten by the person experiencing its genesis or the originating event and with it the belief that the person invented or created about themselves at that time. An individual can also become present to the self-limiting belief by monitoring his or her spoken word. The self-limiting belief exists in our language, in the words we say or speak. Mirror work will also facilitate this type of awareness as ones self-limiting belief exists inside the feelings that one will become present as the individual observes his or her image. Regression can also be utilized to assist one in getting the genesis of his or her self-limiting belief.

Once one becomes present to his or her self-limiting belief, the opportunity then exists, possibly for the first time in the person’s life, to invent a possibility for his or her life, to begin to reinvent his or her life anew. An individual’s possibility is how that person will be in the present, free of the constraints or barriers of the past, a creation from nothing. Within Transformational Counseling, an individual’s possibility is a new or different way of thinking about himself or herself, of who they are, of who they will be. Like the individual’s self-limiting belief, a person’s possibility is a personal affirmation or declaration. Like a person’s self limiting belief, an individual’s possibility also exists in language, and once generated by the individual, will begin to create or invent his or her experiences and sense of reality through the power of his or her thoughts and word. Unlike a person’s self limiting belief, an individual’s possibility will allow him or her to create a life that they truly love and be able to live it powerfully.

The third component of Transformational Counseling has to do with the individual learning what Landmark Education refers to as the process of enrollment. Given that a person will either live life as his or her possibility or their self-limiting belief, there will be a tendency for a person to go back to or stay in his or her self-limiting belief. This is what is very familiar to us, that is, being our self-limiting belief in our daily life. Learning the process of enrollment will assist the individual in being able to get out of his or her self-limiting belief and back into their possibility. When we have a breakdown, we have gone back into being our self-limiting belief and as we do so will truly experience a loss of power, freedom and full expression that is from the past. It is in our breakdowns that we are being inauthentic, that the self-limiting belief becomes hidden again. The process of enrollment allows the person to become authentic about how he or she has been being inauthentic, to again become present to his or her self-limiting belief, and in the process to continue generating his or her possibility or invent a new one for themselves and their life.

The implementation or practice of Transformational Counseling with a client takes place inside a conversation about integrity. Integrity is simply planning your work and working your plan. Clients are encouraged to develop a written plan, a plan for their daily life. A written plan allows the client to take on creating or reinventing themselves and their life in a new way that supports their wellness. Implementing ones plan also allows them to confront that which has always stopped them in the past. As clients begin the process of fulfilling on their plan, of working it, of living the life that they desire, they will have a tendency to get stopped, to have a breakdown and as they do so will develop an inauthenticity, living life as they once did, from the backdrop of the self-limiting belief. It is in working with a client and his or her plan through the enrollment process that he or she has the opportunity to learn how to get out of their self-limiting belief and back into their possibility and truly transform their life. For the client the process of enrollment is the practice of continuing to experience a true sense of power, freedom and full self-expression. It is through staying in and working with ones integrity that a person will have the opportunity to stay committed to living a life that they love and living it powerfully.

The conversations that take place with a client are conducted within the language used through my personal training and development with Landmark Education. These conversations are done so by design. While it is important for a client to begin to act and behave differently, it is crucial that they begin to think differently too. The language used in Landmark Education is unfamiliar and tends to create a space, at least initially, of confusion. This confusion acts as a pattern disruption for the client, causing him or her to start to seriously question what is being said, the meaning of the conversation. It is through this confusion and questioning by the client that they will have the opportunity to become present to their very thought process, to that which has been the true cause in the matter for them, to that which has been creating their experiences and their sense of reality, especially as it applies to how they have been thinking about themselves, the basis of how they have been being and way of life.

As the client begins to live a life of transformation it is also important that the counselor or coach be very present to the client’s tendency to acknowledge or thank them for their assistance. As a counselor or coach I let the client know that I can not fix or help them, that they must do this work if they are to live a life that they love and live it powerfully. In my work with clients I make a stand for the client to assume total and complete responsibility with true empowerment as the goal. To step over the client acknowledging the coach or counselor is essentially the same as encouraging a client to use a blame pattern. As with blaming, thanking another for this type of work does not allow the client to truly get it that he or she is the cause in the matter and in both instances the client will not experience his or her true sense of power, freedom and full self expression. The client is truly responsible for transforming their life and it is vital to the process that they get this completely.

Transformational Counseling is an extremely powerful technique for assisting others in making a true difference in their life. For a client it is a gradual awakening to that which has truly been the cause in the matter, to that which has created and shaped their thoughts, feelings, behavior, experiences and sense of reality. To assist a client in being able to stand in their possibility, of being the possibility of “acceptance, freedom and creativity”, as opposed to their self-limiting belief, of being “not enough”, will allow that individual to live a life that they love and live it powerfully. When used in conjunction with other techniques, such as mirror work, positive affirmations, therapeutic relaxation music, self-hypnosis and NLP patterns, a space is created for a client to transform his or her life forever.

In addition to learning the fundamental distinctions and process of Transformational Counseling, it is also important for the counselor or coach to have an experiential understanding of this technology. To truly make a stand for a client and be able to make a difference for another will necessitate that the counselor have gotten his or her self-limiting belief, have invented new possibilities for himself or herself and also to have learned the process of enrollment. Being able to assist another in the process of transformation can only be achieved when the counselor or coach is in his or her own personal transformation. For me this journey started when I enrolled in the Landmark Forum. It was through experiencing the Forum and the curriculum that followed that the process of transformation began for me as a counselor and more importantly as a human being. Within the conversation of transformation we are merely human beings assisting other human beings to transform their lives, to live a life that they love and to live it powerfully.

Harry Henshaw, Ed. D., LMHC

.enhancedhealing.com

Feeling good about yourself is one of the key ways to be successful at what you do. Remember that only you are in charge of your emotions and empowering yourself is a great way to get ahead in life.

This article lists three ways to boost your self esteem which can help you feel better about yourself and become a more confident person.

Get your mind relaxed

A relaxed mind is the source of great power. Like the tai-chi masters of old, a calm mind can bring about great mental strength that can allow you to become more confident in what you do on a daily basis. Things like hypnosis, tai-chi or meditation can help you develop this inner calm that will allow you to be composed in the most volatile situations. A calm mind in the face of adversity, is a source of strength.

John for example is a busy executive who was really stressed out at work so in the weekends he decided to take up Tai-Chi and after that was able to maintain his calm during the week. As a result of that, his colleagues started consulting him when they had crisis and his self confidence went up.

Do something that you are strong at

Do something that you are good at and that reinforces in your mind that you are a person that is of value. Spend some time doing something that allows you to experience the feeling of winning. Chalking up the wins is something that will help boost your self confidence.

There is much to illustrate in the area of the psychology of winning. There was an story of a father who let us son beat him at wrestling and after a while, this son started to consistently beat his other brother whom for the longest time had prevailed over him. Such is the power of the mindset of a winner.

Do something for others

Spend some time doing something for others and doing it well. The joy of achievement no matter how small will empower and light up your life. Remind yourself that in small things you are faithful, you will be able to handle larger and more complex things. Thereafter you will be able to be confident in your own abilities to handle more tasks.

Self confidence is relative as well. Some people think that they have the worst life in the world, helping out the less fortune reminds us that we should be thankful and thereafter make the best of our own existence on earth as mundane as it may be. Thankfulness and self esteem have an impact on each other and a thankful mindset is the basis to attract more self confidence.

In conclusion, are you feeling down and insecure? Try taking these three simple steps today and thereafter spend time at night reflecting on your own thoughts. Discard thoughts that drag your self-worth down and take active steps to nurture positive thoughts. There is wisdom in living a more confident life and it is one that you ought to live.

Joel Teo 2007 All Rights Reserved

Social Anxiety Disorder is a fear of social situations that involve interaction with other people. People who have social anxiety often fear that they are being watched, judged, and evaluated by other people. It is often mistaken for shyness or low self-esteem. There are many different causes of social anxiety, however, the cause of social anxiety in some people simply cannot be explained.

A common cause of social anxiety is a traumatic social experience. If a person is ‘picked on’ or made fun of during childhood, they are likely to develop social anxiety. Social Anxiety can even develop during adulthood, as a result of a traumatic social experience. Some researchers believe that adult onset social anxiety, due to a traumatic social experience, is the easiest social anxiety to treat, because the person simply needs to regain their self-confidence. This isn’t necessarily so for everyone.

Another common cause of social anxiety is a learned response. If a child has parents who have social anxiety, there is a good chance that the child will learn to fear social situations as well. As children, we learn everything from the people who are around us the very most. Alternately, some people who have vivacious, outgoing parents develop social anxiety as a result. They have underlying fears that make them feel that they could never live up to the standard that their parents have set - so, instead of being outgoing, they withdraw, and develop social anxiety as a result.

Furthermore, social anxiety can develop due to misleading or inaccurate information. For instance, if a girl is a tomboy as a child, and she is often discouraged from playing sports and climbing trees - while being encouraged to play with dolls, she could develop social anxiety. She would succumb to social pressure from friends and family members to ‘do what girls do, not what boys do.’ This could become a big problem as she grows up. Dating could become a problem, because she will not feel that she is not feminine, or ‘lady like’ enough for any boy to be interested in her - she likes sports after all. The thought process is totally inaccurate, but it is what she learned as a child. She would be confronted with the issue over and over as time goes by, and eventually, she would develop social anxiety - never feeling like she fits in, and always feeling like she is being judged.

Researchers now also believe that social anxiety can be inherited genetically. Research has shown that identical twins, who share identical genes, experience similar social anxiety symptoms, while fraternal twins, who do not share identical genes, do not experience similar social anxiety symptoms. Research in this area is still ongoing.

The causes of social anxiety vary from person to person. Often, the cause can be found through therapy. Therapists agree that once the underlying cause of social anxiety is found, most people are able to begin dealing with their social anxiety in effective, successful ways.

A personal self-esteem coach can provide an objective perspective sorely needed to see things in a new light, challenge long-held beliefs that have held you back, change the patterns that have kept you stuck and make new choices so that you create and attract success into your life.

Creating a clear direction for your life can be difficult. Old thinking and behavior patterns are persistent. Your coach can help you recognize and replace these old patterns with new ideas and strategies which serve you and clear the way for a healthy, balanced life. Your coach can also tune in to the language you use to describe yourself, your life circumstances, both past and present, and your future. The language you use is a strong indicator of the level of self-esteem you are experiencing right now.

As your self-esteem improves, you’ll notice you are more focused, more organized and more able to take action. You’ll be able to create strategies, plans and structures to achieve your goals more easily. Procrastination will be a thing of the past. What once pushed you past overwhelm will no longer intimidate you.

Maybe you have self-esteem issues rearing their ugly heads in your relationships. Do you often feel jealousy, especially in the context of romantic relationships? Are you struggling with finding or staying in a romantic relationship? Do you feel too stressed and vulnerable to make good decisions? Maybe you are still recovering from the break up of your last romantic relationship and you want to firm your boundaries and learn to trust again. Wherever you find yourself feeling badly about yourself, a self-esteem issue exists.

If you are tired of living on automatic pilot and want to take charge of your life to create the happiness you’ve spent all this time looking for, then a personal self-esteem coach might be the right choice at this place in your life.

Know what’s holding you back

It’s great that you have decided to build your self-confidence. However, there are a few obstacles that can keep you from achieving your goal. Most of the time, these obstacles are so obvious that they do not seem like obstacles at all, and all you can see is that your resolve to be self-confident is not taking ou anywhere.

Therefore, it is important to become aware of these seemingly harmless obstacles that have all the power to stop you in your path. Let’s have a look at what could be the reasons that you are not moving ahead in top gear.

Are you undisciplined?

Some people simply have the talent to waste a lot of time without realizing it. They lack the self-discipline to stop their actions that waste time. Imagine a situation wherein you have a list of tasks to be completed successfully as a part of your confidence building program. However, the moment you enter your home you involuntarily grab the remote and start channel surfing on the idiot box.

It’s only after an hour that you realize that you have been vegetating in front of the t.V in the time you had scheduled to do other tasks. You realize that you have already disturbed your schedule. In a self-development program, it’s you and only you who has the power to change yourself. Nobody will come to monitor your actions and progress. You have to keep a watch on your inner graph and see to it that it goes up! Avoid temptations and stick to your schedule.

Are you lazy and keep procrastinating? Procrastination is one of the greatest and most silent killers of confidence.

It does not let you complete your jobs and tasks in time; things keep mounting and finally you get overwhelmed by all the many things that have piled up and need your attention. The very basics of building confidence start with listing little things that are doable. You gain more confidence to take on greater tasks and responsibilities by successfully completing the lighter tasks at hand.

However not being prompt and delaying

Important things till they become urgent makes you miss the opportunity of working on your confidence and puts you in danger of falling back again into your earlier cycle, thereby wasting all the effort and energy you had put in to becoming aware of your low confidence trap and getting out of it.

Does your old self keep pulling you back?

Assume. Assume. Assume is the technique here. Assume that you are a different person with habits you wanted to inculcate. Imagine the way you would like to be. Imagine a self-confident you taking things in your stride. Then try to bring into your daily actions the way you have imagined yourself to be. “I dream by painting. Then I paint my dream” was the technique what the great painter Vincent Van Gogh followed.

Your assumed self will make people.

React to you in a different way, according to your new self. This will establish your new self to the world and will help you keep up the new self before it becomes a habit - a second nature! If you behave indecisively and helplessly, you will invoke proportionate reactions from people around you, thereby reinforcing your previous self.

This throws you back again.

Remember that you cannot get ahead if you keep looking back. Realize this and stop sliding back.

Don’t copy self-confidence. Do not try to become like someone else.

One of the greatest mistakes that people make when trying to increase their low self-confidence is falling in love with an image of their icon who may be a sport star or a film star or any celebrity and then they try to be like them. This is one of the greatest mistakes that people can commit when trying in increase

their self-confidence.

You have to be yourself at all costs.

Getting inspired is wonderful but merely aping these guys won’t take you anywhere. There is no need for any two people in this universe to be exactly the same. The challenge is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else!

Create a vision of YOUR life, and take action everyday. That’s it.

How many times have you looked in the mirror and seen something you don’t like? It happens to the best of us, we get caught up in what we ‘should’ look like. Thighs are too big, hair is too straight, too many freckles, breasts are too small… the list could go on, and for many of us it does. The question is, are you loving who you are and keen to further improve yourself, or are you getting caught in the old “I’ll be happy when…”? “I’ll be happy when I weigh only X kg”, “I’ll be happy when I get a boob job”, I’ll be happy when I have this or that done”.

The truth is that happiness isn’t a place, person, operation, destination or weight goal. Happiness is a feeling, and it’s entirely within our control as to if, and when, we feel it or not. The challenge many of us face is that we’re always searching for something externally to make us feel good rather than finding it within.

I know this, because I spent most of my life not liking what I saw in the mirror. I was Bulimic for 8 years and ALWAYS thought I was too fat. It wasn’t until I was looking back in hindsight, that I realised my problems never had anything to do with my weight. I’m 5’2” and at my very heaviest I was only 55kg (121lb), but I thought I was a huge, hideous monster. I was never happy unless I was down to 48kg (106lb), which &ndash funnily enough &ndash only seemed to happen when I was even more depressed, or on the ‘break up diet’ when I’d split with a partner. Most of the time I was never more than about 50kg (110lb) yet I absolutely believed that I would only be happy when these last 2kg (4.4lb) had dropped.

2kg? How could 2 measly kilograms really dictate whether or not I was happy? From the outside in, it was easy to see that I had a problem unrelated to my weight, but as the person experiencing this, it was all I could think about. In fact ‘think’ is too mild a word. I was obsessed. I would starve myself for days, only to binge on huge amounts of food which I would then purge, several times a day. This was a destructive, cyclic pattern and it was ruining my life, my relationships and my health. Even now, years later, my digestive system doesn’t function properly and I have irrepairable damage to my teeth from all the purging.

I tried everything I could think of to make the changes I knew I needed. I went to counselors, support groups, psychiatrists, nutritionists, everything… you name it, I tried it. What I hadn’t tried at that point, is to truly understand that I needed to fall in love with me, just the way I was. When I was 26, I started working one on one with Nina, a very intuitive life coach who helped me search inside myself to find the answers I was looking for.

There were many months of tears, frustration and soul searching… but eventually there was peace. I was able to understand why I was using food as an emotional crutch and what the real cause of my behaviour was. You see, the eating disorder was simply a vehicle for dealing with the real issues, and once I knew what they were, I was able to address them directly.

Today I am happy, healthy and loving who I am. I’m still human, I still have bad days, and I still have an ‘ideal weight’ that I’d like to get to… but it doesn’t dictate my life and I love myself regardless… squishy bits and all.

Are you looking to arrange an appointment with a life coach. There are many people who feel they need a boost of self-confidence or self-esteem. In this article I write about some of the advice you may receive at these sessions.

I am one of these people who at many times in my life have felt down and depressed about various issues that I have had in my life. I have worked hard and had a lot of advice about how to deal with these problems and am now far more confident and content with life.

I always wanted to be liked by everyone and found it difficult to say no when invited to say a party, even though in truth I did not want to go. If I did decline an offer, I would feel guilty and if for example a friend asked me why I did not want to go and perhaps even called me boring for not going, I would often end up changing my mind. This would be because I did not want to be known as boring by anybody and also because I was quite a weak and fragile person.

From reading life coaching and positive thinking books, I realised I had to become a far stronger person, more care-free and to have more respect for myself. I decided that if I did not want to go somewhere I wouldn’t, whatever anyone said. This new found attitude would not be easy to carry off but I was determined to give it a go.

I was soon to be tested, it was at one of my friends(Ian)houses. He was trying to organise a night out for the following Saturday. I was not at all interested in going out on that particular night for various reasons. Eventually Ian asked if I wanted to go and I said that I didn’t. That answer was not enough for him and he proceeded to question my reasons for not wanting to go. I felt all of the eyes of the people present descend on me and I felt quite awkward. Normally in this situation I would give some excuse but instead I asked him why I needed to give a reason and why my answer of no was not enough for him. He seemed quite shocked at my strong response and moved on to question and nag someone else.

I felt proud of my success and have continued to adopt a similar attitude since.

Self-esteem, as defined in the dictionary, is “pride in oneself; self-respect.” All too often, young girls who lack self-esteem carry the same subjective view of themselves as they become adult women. What tools can be used to develop pride, self-respect, and self-esteem? One unique way is to utilize the services of a life coach.

A life coach is someone who can be objective, provide an honest assessment of ways you can enhance your life, advise you as to how you can build self-esteem and self-respect in all areas of your life, mentor you when facing difficult decisions, and work with you to help you become the person you have always wanted to be.

Perhaps you are a person who feels you deserve nothing more than you already have, or too shy to confront issues on a daily basis. Maybe you’ve become so negative in your thinking that you are sabotaging the very thing you want most in life &ndash love, happiness, and respect.

Lack of self-esteem closes you to all of the possibilities in life. You act differently, dress in no particular style, and avoid situations which make you uncomfortable. You also may be stressed when confronted with new situations, as any type of change may be literally painful. Lack of self-esteem may drive you to think only of others and put your hopes and dreams on the back burner because you feel it isn’t important. Thus, you are not living for you, but in spite of you.

If you have low self-esteem and can’t find a way out, it’s time to get out of your own way and embrace the help and encouragement a life coach can offer. More often than not, a person with low self-esteem finds it difficult to believe there is someone out there who is completely objective and who cares about you. While family members may tell you what they think you need to hear, the life coach will tell you what is true and help you deal with the reality of that truth.

A life coach can help you find out who you are as a person, a friend, a colleague, and a partner. Working with a life coach can open up a world you never thought existed. The foundation upon which you have lived your life can be changed for the better. You will become more self-confident at home, at work, in social settings, and in relationships. You will find meaning, focus, and direction. A life coach is analogous to that inner voice telling you to take a chance, realize your full potential, avoid negativity, and become empowered.

Why call upon the services of a life coach? Because you are worthy, your life has meaning, and you do matter. Listen to the voice.

I am a firm believer that people should try to make the most out of each day that they are alive. We all have to die at some point and even though this may seem a little morbid it is true. Today or tomorrow could be our last day and therefore this is why we should be living each day to the full.

Each day I read and watch the local and international news stories which make me aware of some very sad events. People who are very young are dying each day in a variety of different circumstances and I am very much aware that I am not immune from one of these tragic events. No one can say for sure that they are going to live until lets say seventy years of age, most people I think presume that they will, which could be seen in some quarters as a good thing. Thinking positive they say is the right way to think, which I have to admit is something I also agree with.

My attitude is that I need to work to live where as other people seem to live to work. It is like they would rather be at work than at home having fun or spending time with their family. I know a number of people who have young children but who leave their house at around half six in the morning and do not return home until seven at night. This is not because they are poor but because they will take on any extra hours as way as overtime that is offered to them. I personally would rather spend time with my children than be stuck at work and feel that my life is enriched in this way.

When I am on my death bed in what I hope will not be for a long time yet of course, I want to be able to think and say to myself that I have no regrets and that I am happy with the way I have lived my life. At the moment I am lucky as I am able to watch my children grow and mature as people. From the work that I do, I am able to take my family on holiday each year and can afford to pay all of my bills. Some no doubt might say that I should work a lot more hours than I do, I would then be able to buy a better car and would be able to take my family on two holidays per year. What I would say in response to this however, is at what price would I be able to obtain this? I would have to sacrifice much of the quality time I have with my children, would not be able to take them swimming and to the park as often as I do for example. I hope and think that my children are very happy at the moment and this in my opinion is priceless. I will not compromise this in search for a better standard of car etc.

I used to constantly worry about what might happen to me in three or six months time. Will this or that happen? If it does how would I be able to cope? I am of course worrying in these situations about things that have not even and may never happen. This I have now realised is pointless and even very silly. I should be living for today, I should be making the most of today, I will think about tomorrow, tomorrow. I will deal with any problems that come my way in the best way that I can at the time when they happen, that is all I can do. By stressing about them before they happen will only stop me from enjoying myself on that particular day.

Now is the time to stop the stress, worry, fear and depression. There is a good chance that we only have one life, so lets enjoy it.