My Essay Blog

Maybe this has happened to you:

Take two identical days, just ordinary routine days, nothing special happening…

On one of the days, you wake up in morning feeling great &ndash it’s a beautiful sunny day, you can hear your favourite sounds, you’ve got a great mental attitude, positive that everything is going to be easy:-)

Your journey to work is easy, you fly through your work and to cap it all, you have a fantastic evening at home. In short you have a great day!

On the other day you wake up after a bad night’s sleep, you’re not feeling great, it’s grey and cloudy, everything you hear just sounds discordant and ugly. You’ve got a negative attitude and going through your day things just go downhill from there…

Getting to work is a nightmare, you spend your entire day in seemingly endless and repetitive tasks and by the end of the day you’re just happy to collapse into bed feeling exhausted.

So what is the difference between these two days?

There’s just one difference YOU!!

The Mirror Of Life

Life is like a mirror.

On one side there is your mental state, your attitude, positive or negative, your feelings.

On the other side there is the reflection of your mental state: your external world and the results you are achieving in that world

That’s right. Your world is reflection of your mental state.

…But how does this happen, how can your internal world create your external world?

Think about it for a minute.

First your mental state influences your behaviour and your actions &ndash when you have a good attitude, positive actions are easy to take, when you have a negative attitude, everything seems too difficult!

Your behaviour and actions influence people around you and the results you get in life &ndash if you are always negative and pessimistic you are going to find that most of the people you attract into your life are like you. If a negative attitude means that you don’t ‘get things done’ you are not going to create the life you really want.

The results you get and the people you associate with influence what you perceive in your world…

…and your perceptions influence your mental state, completing the circle.

The only things you can control are how you perceive the world and your mental state. For example you can choose to see the negative or the positive in a situation by changing your state of mind.

Experience The Mirror In Action

You can experience the power of the mirror of life at any time. Here’s a couple of examples to think about:

Start by thinking about people around you…

You can tell a lot about a person’s inner world by looking at their outer world. Of course people may try to hide their mental state, but there are always clues… look at their car, their house, the way they dress, their behaviour…

Or one day in your normal routine, consciously adopt an extremely positive attitude, make a point of smiling and greeting people positively when you might normally be neutral or even grumpy!

Just see what difference it makes. You will see that people’s responses to you become more positive and friendly. Even better, if you keep it up you will find that your are living in a different, more positive and more supportive world.

The message is clear: you can change your world by changing your mental state.

If you want better results, you’ve first got to create a better you!

This is a time of year when many people take stock of all that they are grateful for — or at least when we should do so. But this should also be a time when we take stock of all those people who contributed to those gifts — especially the intangible ones. Those gifts such as our self-esteem or confidence, our love of sports or music, and our spine. What person or group do you owe the greatest debt? Was there a special person or group that really helped you become the person you are today?

Was there someone who helped you believe in yourself and your ability? Was there someone who taught you to appreciate life in a new way? Was there just someone who was there so you could count on them no matter what?

Most of us have been fortunate to have not just one person but a whole team of teachers, coaches, and mentors who helped us grow and reach our potential. We should remember to thank those people again and again as we live the lives they helped us shape. Even more important we need to repay that debt — not to those individuals but to society. How is your debt? Have you paid it yet or are you still pretending it doesn’t exist?

We often hear the expression as it relates to criminals. It is sometimes used as a euphemism for incarceration. The truth is though that we all owe a debt to society. Not because we have done some harm to the community but instead because we have benefited from someone else doing good.

I am a Presbyterian and our expression of the Lord’s Prayer includes the phrase “And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors”. Obviously no matter how good we are and how exemplary our lives we can never repay our debt to God or his son so that part of the meaning is rather clear. I also think this means that we should do good for goodness sake rather than any potential benefit we may reap from the act.

I also think there is another level of meaning and this comes back to the central idea of our debt to society. I think when it comes down to acts of kindness there cannot be a one-to-one relationship. Obviously in many cases when a person is in need of help they may never be in a position to return that help in kind. But it isn’t really what we want or need when we offer help or kindness in any case.

Whenever I do something charitable, helpful, or kind, I tend to view the act as contributing to a vast fund of kindness. Many times in my life I have profited from this fund and very likely I will continue to profit from it.

One of the reasons I like this concept is that I do think of it as a sort of fund or bank. The value grows exponentially rather than incrementally just as money would do if similarly invested. We should all be grateful for this because the truth is that we usually don’t pay our debt to society.

Most of us will write the occasional check, buy a ticket for some raffle, and/or spend a few hours working here and there on some pet project. There are a few who will go much further than this and spend a large portion of their time, energy, and/or money for the greater good but they are far too few.

Often whenever we face pressure on our time or finances then it is our philanthropic activities that are the first to be sacrificed. I have been all too guilty of this myself. I wonder what would happen if we reversed this and instead put helping others first rather than last?

My challenge to you this week is simply to find a way to add to our goodness fund. Borrow from the concept of “Pay It Forward”. When someone offers you a helping hand then be sure to pass the favor along at the first opportunity. Don’t pick and choose. Don’t balance your checkbook first. Don’t take the easy path. Do what is right. You will know it when you see it.

Know what? just this morning, before I popped open my laptop, a heretical thought crossed my head.

It’s this: planning and anticipating your retirement is like insurance policy. Never Ever take it as the sole reward to the years of working. Simply, it is a mere hedge against what we all fear at the end of life: becoming so decrepit,that we can’t physically mow lawns to buy ourselves a Happy Meal.

To my mind, retirement as the final goal of an executive is darn stupid for three critical reasons.

First it’s hinged on the presumption that you abhor what you are doing throughout the most physically productive years of your life. Is this how you want to trudge out to work the next 30 years of your career- feeling that you gotta endure decades of hell before well-earned respite? Millions of shmoes out there are unhappy, depressed and leap buildings when they deem work as much fun as getting a triple bypass.

Second, many folks will never retire and maintain even a greasy-microwave-chicken-for-dinner standards of living. Think about that. Even Five Million is a loose change in a stinking economy where your retirement might last twenty years; and runaway inflation delfates your purchasing power 4% to 11% each year. Doesn’t add up, doesn’t it? Your golden years become Ghetto-class life revisited.

Finally, if you do save up for a comfortable, much-desired retirement, it implies that you’re one ambitious, hardworking son-of-a-gun. So what happens? Three days into lounging at that luxury home for the decrepit, you’ll be flaming bored, you’ll want to kick every senior citizen and her cat out of your way. You’ll start scanning the job market and even start a new corporation- in your flannel pajamas. Hmmm.. quite defeats the purpose of waiting for retirement, huh?

So what’s my point…? I’m not saying don’t plan your retirement. That wouldn’t be wise. What I’m saying is, never mistake retirement for the end goal. That’s really dumb. Instead, look to each day as as source of new inspiration, an opportunity for great things that you can enjoy NOW and instead of at retirement.

Stop and think about that…. Imagine what life will be like if every week was a of mini-retirement? Now that’s heaven!

Do you walk in the house after a long day at work and just sigh at your cluttered house? Have you planned to organize one morning but do not know where to start or are just not in the mood? Are you caught in a vicious cycle: as soon as you organize one room another one has turned to chaos? Maybe you just need to prioritize, find motivation, and ask for help. Easier said than done J?

Prioritize As with most goals in life, you want to strive for progress and improvement, not perfection. Most of us do not have time to achieve perfection in everything we do and still live a happy, fulfilling life. When you set goals, make them achievable, attainable. When you make that progress, create a visual way to track it or remind yourself of all you have accomplished (i.e. stickers on a chart, a check list, a flower/penny/or other item to represent each task you have completed). Since we will never have more than 24 hours in a day, we may have to say “no” to some activities and tasks. As you list each goal, task, or activity, ask yourself if it is necessary, if it supports my ultimate goals, or if any other activity or person will be negatively affected if it does not happen. You may see your list shrink before your very eyes J. If you are not sure how to narrow your list, search the internet, ask a friend, or consult a professional organizer (we help with both the tangible and intangible).

Motivate Do you start the day with the best of intentions to declutter the “bathroom” only to loose your drive because it is “just not worth it”? What is worth it to you? What do you value? Why? These questions may not seem to have much to do with organizing, but they can be the key to your motivation. How much time do you spend on activities that relate to your values (i.e. spending time with family, exercising, eating healthy, etc.)? Most of us would probably answer “not enough”. Then why would you ever spend time on an activity not related to you values, such as organizing? The answer: organizing allows you to focus more on your values. Organizing means less time searching for the other shoe, fewer arguments over who last used the scissors and did not put them back, less time cleaning around the clutter . . . With less time wasted, you have more time to be with family, exercise, eat healthy, and pursue those life goals that really matter. The next time you wonder why you would ever make time to organize, remember that organizing can be a means to an end. If you find a task that seems pointless, ask yourself how that task can bring you closer to what means to the most to you. It is amazing how a change in attitude and knowing what is “in it for me” can motivate.

Ask For Help Even if most of your chores and daily tasks are “value added”, they are not always fun and often too much for one person. Solution: spread the responsibility among the whole household. What is boring to one person may be fun for another. One person’s weak spot may be another person’s strength. Some people have time in the morning to help everyone get ready for the day, and others have more time at night to help everyone get ready for bed. When you do ask for help, just remember to be specific or be prepared for “not exactly what you expected”. Letting others pick what they want and find their own way, within reason, may even make them more willing and productive.

If you are not sure how to prioritize, want some ideas to motivate, or are ready to ask for help, contact Organized For You! For your free consultation, questions, comments, speaking and training needs, tips, or gift certificates please contact Jessica at organizedforyoumchsi.com or 319-504-6689. Let me help you make every day like “a day at the beach”.

As the species whose thinking ability supposedly separates us from the animals, we really don’t spend much of our life reasoning. Most of the time our minds get stuck on cruise control. Thinking takes up too much time and requires too much energy. Imagine having to think about every decision we make. It wouldn’t leave us much time to accomplish anything else, would it? Most of us have a systematic way of looking at the world. When this mode is operating, our minds are perfectly primed to automatically respond to persuasion triggers. I call these triggers the Laws of Persuasion.

The Laws of Persuasion operate below our conscious thoughts. When employed properly, your prospects don’t even realize you’re using them. On the other hand, if you blunder your way through a persuasion situation, your audience will be totally aware of what you’re doing. It’s like seeing a police car on the side of the road–it jars us back to reality. If the persuader is skilled, he or she will use the Laws of Persuasion so the message is delivered below the radar.

Understanding the Laws of Persuasion involves understanding the human psyche. Such knowledge empowers you to improve your persuasive abilities. It magnifies your effectiveness in relationships, improves your parenting skills, enhances your leadership ability, and helps you sell yourself and your ideas. In short, it maximizes your influence.

In his book Triggers, Joseph Sugarman estimates that 95 percent of the reasoning behind a consumer’s purchase is associated with a subconscious decision. In other words, most buying is done for reasons a person hasn’t even fully formulated. Dr. Gregory Neidert estimates that our brains actually run on idle 90 to 95 percent of the time. Let’s face it, thinking is hard work. It is human nature to conserve cognitive energy. Thinking burns three times as many calories as watching TV. Those who use their brains for a living have traditionally been among the highest paid professionals. Consider the incomes for doctors, lawyers, and engineers, just to name a few. Most of us feel we don’t have the time or even the desire to think on the level that these professionals do each day.

What are the main reasons we choose not to think? First, sometimes the amount of information available is so overwhelming we don’t even attempt to digest any of it. Sometimes our decisions simply aren’t weighty enough to warrant the effort of researching all the available information. Consciously and subconsciously, from the bombardment of information we receive, we selectively choose what we will acknowledge and what we will ignore.

Whether we realize it or not, we love shortcuts to thinking. When we buy an item, we don’t always take the time to research the product or read the latest consumer guide’s ratings on the product. Instead, we often rely on the salesperson’s advice. We might just buy the most popular brand, or we might bring a friend along for his opinion. Although we would never admit it, we sometimes even buy an item just because of its color or packaging. Certainly we know this is not the best way to make decisions, but we all do it anyway, even when we know we might make a mistake or feel regretful afterwards. If we thoroughly considered every single decision, we would constantly be overwhelmed and we’d never get anything done.

Recall a situation where you where persuaded or acted without thinking?

The Laws of Persuasion are so powerful because they capitalize on two very predictable things: one, what we expect from human nature, and two, how people will respond in certain situations. People react predictably under a given set of circumstances. If we learn to recognize how the Laws of Persuasion work, we will know how to use them in our interactions with others. We will also become more aware of how others will attempt to use them on us.

There are two paths to persuasion: the conscious and the subconscious. Both paths can persuade others to your way of thinking, but each path uses a very different means of processing information.

In the conscious path, both you and your audience make an active or conscious attempt to understand, define, and process an argument. A person who is interested in your persuasive attempts will be highly motivated to listen. As such, she will also be able to consciously evaluate your message by carefully weighing the pros and cons of the evidence you present.

On the subconscious path, the listener spends little or no time processing the information. This approach results in those automatic triggers we previously talked about. These knee-jerk reactions happen when you follow your intuition or use a mental shortcut. Your mind reaches a decision without doing any logical processing. These subconscious decisions are largely driven by instinct and emotion. Individuals who spend lots of time on the subconscious path do so because they lack the time, motivation, desire, or ability to really listen to your message. They’re not really involved in the subject. They use their instinct or emotions instead of their intellect. Passive processing and automatic decision triggers rule their decision making.

Our minds are programmed with automatic persuasion triggers. Most of us experience persuasive situations without realizing or thinking about it. Master Persuaders know what these triggers are and how to utilize them to their advantage. Understanding the Laws of Persuasion helps us become aware of how we are influenced without having conscious knowledge of it.

Learning to influence and persuade takes time, skill, and experience. What most people don’t realize is that we already instinctively use many of these laws in our daily communications. The same Laws of Persuasion that we unknowingly use every day are the very same ones Master Persuaders use deliberately, consciously, and consistently. Master Persuaders make persuasion a habit. Think about how conscientious you were when you first started driving. Now, after years of practice, driving a car doesn’t require as much thought or focus. Master Persuaders understand the rules of persuasion and practice them constantly. They can apply the techniques subconsciously, without even thinking about them. For them, the application of persuasion has become second nature.

Application Questions

1. Why do you think most decisions are made on a subconscious level?

2. Can you think of a time when you bought something and rationalized it later with conscious thought?

3. How can you use this information to benefit you in your ability to persuade?

Positive thinking is an amazing tool, but without action it’s a waste of time. Rather than just having a momentary thought it’s more of a way of life. It’s a technique that you use to create positive affirmations that can counter negative thoughts and doubts by neutralizing them and building the self-confidence you need for whatever you want to achieve.

Thinking this way is a skill you can learn and develop with consistent practice, but it is worth it to create a habit of positive thinking?

In some circles positive thinking is sometimes cynically referred to as pollyannaish, a naive and overly optimistic view of life by overlooking the things we don’t like and focusing only on the good.

So how about you?

How do you view things, negatively or positively? It can be easy for all of us to focus only on the negative but it’s usually as easy to look for a positive angle to things as it is for a negative angle.

By looking on the positive side we can affect our subconscious mind as we invoke the law of attraction and we can then attract a better set of circumstances into our life. Remember concentrate on the positive and expect a positive result but did you know that it takes as much effort to think about the negative as it is for the positive.

In some ways positive thinking is infectious and can lead to a ‘can do’ attitude within an individual, a team and an organization. It’s been said that the only difference between a success and a failure is the attitude of mind the person had before they entered that task.

One cannot pay lip service to positive thinking. You need to practice and make positive thinking your prevailing attitude towards life. The very feel of positive thinking itself will help you to feel confident and move towards your goal.

In order to acquire the great status of positive thinker, we must realize what positive thinking is all about and what it is not. Our usual misconceptions about positive thinking are that money will drop out of the sky; GOD will come on a chariot to take away the sufferings and pains and lot more imaginations, while this would be great unfortunately it won’t happen but by staying positive you remain open to new directions and guidance rather than just shutting down and giving up.

Attitude forms an important part of positive thinking whereas thinking contributes lot to the attitude. It’s kind of like the chicken and egg, which came first? If you have a bad attitude you’ll never consider changing how you think but can positive thinking change your attitude.

How you answer this age-old question about positive thinking and attitude may reflect your outlook on life, your attitude toward yourself, and whether you’re optimistic or pessimistic.

A positive attitude and optimistic thinking are healthy. When you wholeheartedly adopt a ‘with all your heart’ attitude and go all out with the positive principle, you can do incredible things. Happy, optimistic people are usually described as having positive attitudes and expressing positive thoughts.

Positive thinking is a mental attitude that admits into the mind thoughts, words and images that are conductive to growth, expansion and success.

After Christopher Reeve’s accident in 1995, I was so deeply touched by his attitude. Of course he could have given up and cursed life for giving him a raw deal but he didn’t. But consider this if hadn’t have been so brave and positive do you really think he would have survived for so long as he did? And deep down we all admire him for having such a positive attitude and inspiring us all.

As I finish this article, no matter what happens to us, we can choose positive thoughts and choose a positive attitude. It may not be something that we were all born with but it’s a way of looking at the brighter side of life that helps us build the life we want.

You could sum it up in one word, and that one would be “Faith”.

Has anyone heard of Emmeline Pankhurst?

Emmeline was born in Manchester, UK in 1858. She was the daughter of very forward thinking parents for their time, Robert and Sophia Goulden.

You can read more about Emmeline, often referred to as Emily, by visiting this link,

.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/WpankhurstE.htm

Briefly, Emmeline was highly instrumental in forming the UK’s Suffragette Movement and in doing so she eventually brought about the right for women to vote.

Now OK, both our male and female readers could be forgiven for thinking, ‘hey hang on a minute, this is an attempt to promote feminist views’.

However I can assure you it is not because I am not out to promote any kind of political agenda so please bear with me, especially our male readers. You’re not about to come under fire here.

The point I am trying to highlight is the sheer belief that Emmeline held deep within herself.

This was that she could make change happen in a society that had always shaped and dominated the view that women had a far lesser role to play than their male counterparts and that their worth as a human being was also far less.

This was evident by the fact that at that time, women could not enter many professions in particular the medical and law profession. Even by today’s standards, in the UK especially, female barristers still have a hard time reaching the Bar Council and as far as I am aware, in all of British history right up to the current date, there is not a single female judge sitting in the House of Lords, Britains highest law court.

Can you also believe that it was only in 1991, that the House of Lords finally overturned a legal ruling that had stood for centuries? This was that it was accepted in law that it was legal for a man to rape his wife in marriage.

Only in 1991 was this barbaric law finally thrown out and replaced with new legislation that it is indeed now illegal for a husband to assault his wife.

Imagine then, back in the early 1900’s when the Edwardian society were still feeling embarrassed by their gaudy Victorian parents, the incredible struggle that Emmeline must have endured despite being arrested and thrown in prison many times over because she believed women should have more rights, especially the simple, most precious right of all, the right to vote.

So here is the question that springs to mind.

What kept Emmeline going? What kept this amazing woman strong in the face of such adversity during a time where society had been trained to view women in an extremely poor light? Where did her incredible strength and durability come from?

The simple answer was the belief in her own power.

The Power of One.

Now, the whole point of writing about this most incredible British woman is to demonstrate to both men and women, that no matter what you face, how much you feel trapped, how much you want change or how much you are facing the disapproval of others, you too have that same power within you. If Emmeline could create such change back then at that point in history, you can do the same today.

Emmeline was fortunate because she had parents who were radical and fully in control of what they believed. They owned their own personal right to make the choices and decisions that they felt were right for them and they passed their passionate beliefs and attitudes onto their daughter who as a result turned society up on it’s head.

Although she was such a free thinking spirit considering the time in which she lived,a period which had just emerged from a stiff, highly reserved Victorian era, ironically Emmeline cast aside her inspired thinking, which had so victoriously set her apart from the restrictions of the then society, when she refused to speak to her daughter Sylvia for the crime of having an illegitimate child.

Refusing to have anything to do with Sylvia or her grandson, Emmeline died in 1928.

How odd that she had set so many women free, orchestrated a complete change of attitude towards women in society, achieved far improved standards of working and living conditions for women, and brought about their equal right to vote. Yet, she was bound up in a belief that it was wrong to have a child out of wedlock to such an extent that she disowned her own daughter and grandchild.

How sad that this gallant, free spirited woman passed from this life on earth without forgiving her own flesh and blood. Even more sad was that she could not see that Sylvia was now a product of a much freer society that Emmeline herself had created.

This was clearly a limiting belief that Emmeline held as a boundary to what she found unacceptable and in some ways, it backfired as limiting beliefs so often do mostly because they lead to bad judgements and intolerance.

These two points are inextricably linked. Power and acceptance, power and acceptance, power and acceptance.If we say them over and over, they begin to chime harmoniously together.

Emmeline Pankhurst was an incredible woman living in a brief space of time where she made the impossible happen because of her own power (what she chose to believe was right for her) and what she chose to accept (what she believed was either unacceptable or acceptable to her on a personal level.) When she chose to adopt the limiting belief that her daughter was wrong to have a child out of wedlock, her choice cost both her and her daughter great pain so having set so many women free, Emmeline actually trapped herself by believing it was right to ignore her daughter and grandchild.

We can as individuals draw on many helpful lessons from learning about inspiring people like Emmeline Pankhurst.

For example, we can ask ourselves:

Do I feel powerful enough to change my life?

What is acceptable to me?

What do I feel unable to accept that I am currently accepting?

What limiting beliefs am I holding onto?

One further point about Emmeline that positively shines out a mile, is that she knew who she was and what she was here to do.

How many of us know the same about ourselves today?

I know from the many clients I see that when I ask them to tell me who they actually are, they look at me with a blank expression and they struggle to answer the question.

This tells me that they’ve become so bogged down in the details of life, that they know their friends better than themselves and that over time, they have become a complete stranger to who they really are.

I chose to write about Emily Pankhurst for this particular article because when I was 12 and studying history at school, I’d been dozing through the lesson when my history teacher threw a book in my direction and yelled at me in front of the whole class,

‘Listen you stupid girl! Because of Emmeline Pankhurst, you are a free woman today! You could at the very least be grateful’!

I wasn’t stupid and I wasn’t deliberately ignoring the lesson, I was tired from being up at 4.30am to help at home. But my incredibly irate history teacher, rightly or wrongly in the way she approached it, got my attention and I have admired and been inspired ever since by women like Emmeline Pankhurst. I found a lot of my own strength and power in viewing her as my own role model for standing up for my beliefs and achievements today.

Whether you’re male or female, if you want to bring positive change to your current life or circumstances, the first line of action you need to take is to begin questioning and often change your perception of the way in which you see your own world. This means taking a shrewd and honest view of what you currently believe about yourself, the environment you live in and the role others play in shaping your life.

It’s all about the questions you ask inwardly and the dialogue you have with yourself then taking a leap of faith in making choices and decisions that are right for you.

Nothing disarms and invites an audience in more than humor. We are instantly drawn to people we think are funny. We enjoy listening to humorous individuals and hearing what they have to say. Humor grabs attention, creates rapport and makes a message more memorable. It can also relieve tension, enhance relationships and motivate people.

If you’ve got an important message to share, humor can give you a huge advantage. The actor John Cleese once said, “If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas. And if I can persuade you to laugh at the particular point I make, by laughing at it you acknowledge its truth.” Don’t use humor just to get a laugh out of your prospects. In humor, there is so much potential for influence. Armed with humor, you can provide special insights or teach important principles.

Humor must be used cautiously, however. If used properly, it will help your audience to like you. If used ineffectively or inappropriately, however, it can be a big turn off. The instant you irritate or offend your audience members, it’s over. Nothing you say or do from that point forward will rectify the damage done. Worse, they’ll always remember you as a bad comic. Be sure that you have good material before attempting to incorporate humor into your presentations. Also, cater your comedy to your audience. What would they find funny? What are some inside experiences they share that you could draw humor from? Use humor that will evoke chuckles and lightheartedness but that is still built on truth. It is a very wise idea to test the comedic waters on friends or family to make sure your humor works!

Another technique that is sometime used in story selling is the instillation of fear. As manipulative as it may sound, fear definitely motivates others when it is used properly. I would strongly caution against creating a false sense of fear, however. Doing so truly is manipulative, and by instilling false fear you will lose your audience’s long-term trust. Use fear only if the threat is real and if it is in the best interest of the audience to be forewarned. For example, doctors sometimes have to be straightforward with their patients about the impending worst-case scenario if they don’t get in shape. It’s scary to hear, but the patient truly needs this information to be brought to her/his attention.

As much as we may wish it to not be the case, often it is only fear that will motivate and move someone off a path to destruction. There are less dramatic, but nevertheless fear-inspired, examples: Fear incites us to buy life insurance, to floss our teeth, to buy cars with airbags, to install home security systems and to purchase guns. Hopefully, fear will not be a persuasive tool you use with great frequency, but if you feel you can effectively use it to underscore a very important message, adhere to the following guidelines:

1. You must make your audience feel the anxiety and uneasiness that come from anticipating the possible, even greater, negative emotions (pain, grief, loss, etc.) that will become imminent if the problem is not dealt with.

2. Your prospects must feel not only that the fearful event is likely to happen, but also that they could be victimized by its occurrence. In other words, they must feel vulnerable.

3. You must provide a solution to the fear you instill. Give your prospects a recommended action to resolve the fear-inducing problem.

4. Your prospects must believe that they are capable of doing what is asked of them and that doing so will work for them.

Are you a person who loves challenges, or hates them? I must admit I’ve spent most of my life as a person who hates them. I always thought of challenges as frustrating, maddening obstacles keeping me from where I want to be. I even used to take them personally, feeling like the universe must hate me and like to see me struggle.

As I grow older and (hopefully) wiser - I find my competitive nature rising up to meet these challenges, and I’m learning to see them differently. Most of us know that great rewards require great sacrifice and effort. You know the old saying that nothing worthwhile comes easy? In a sense that’s true. If everything we wanted was handed to us, we probably wouldn’t have alot of appreciation for it. On the other hand, when we work hard for something and then see it manifest before our eyes, we get such a powerful sense of pride and accomplishment. We can point to it and say, “I did that. It was tough, but I did it anyway.”

Challenges are truly opportunities. Opportunities to grow and learn, to strengthen ourselves, to test ourselves and our faith. They reveal how badly we want to create the dreams in our hearts, and how hard we’re willing to work for them. This is such a blessing. It may not seem that way at first, but with a tiny shift in attitude, we can see that we have been handed an incredible opportunity.

The next time life hands you a challenge, stop and consider for a moment what it means. Is the universe saying “no”, or “I want you to try harder?” Don’t look at challenges as an end, look at them as a door leading to your heart’s desires. That door might be locked, but you have the key. Maybe you forgot where you put the key, or you forgot that you even had it to begin with. It might take some effort and patience to find it again - or you might even have to create a new one, but believe that you will, even if you’re not sure how yet.

I’m learning that it’s not important to have all the answers right now. When challenges rise up before us, we may not know how to get around them, or through them. It might seem hopeless at first. Challenges can seem so overwhelming when we don’t have a solution. However, life itself is very much like this too. Sometimes life is akin to bumping around in a dark room, trying to find the light switch. It is possible to get through the room without finding the light switch immediately, we just need to step slowly and carefully. Moment to moment, we find our way.

Rather than giving up when obstacles appear in your path, look at them as welcome challenges. The biggest challenge is choosing your own attitude. Will you get flustered and angry, or will you get excited and determined? Will you lay down and cry, or will you roll up your sleeves and get to work? Some of us take on a victim mentality when obstacles arise, and I can see why this happens. It does feel like the universe is picking on us, doesn’t it? I think we’ve all been there!

Why not change your mindset and think of obstacles as a personal challenge? Rather than feeling like the universe is picking on you, challenge yourself to figure out a solution. Say to yourself, “Okay, such and such has happened, now what am I going to do about it”? Put your problem-solving skills to work.

Once we begin to change our attitude about obstacles and challenges, they can actually become fun. Our competitive human nature rises up and gets ready to win, no matter what. We develop a steely determination to not be beaten.

In fact, I like to pretend there is a great critic in the sky who laughs mockingly at me and says, “You can’t do that.” I simply grin wickedly, roll up my sleeves and say, “Watch me!”

Let’s face it: not many of us like getting up in the morning to face the long day of work ahead. However, every working person still does this for his or her own personal reasons. These reasons make up a theory of motivation for going to work.

Most people do not work merely for the fun of it. Chances are, there is an underlying reason or reasons that drive the person to put the effort forth. Some key reasons that motivate individuals to work are:

-Money

-Responsibility

-Social life

Show me the money:

In many cases, money certainly does make the world go around. Money is the number one reason in the theory of motivation that makes people want to work. Money earned on the job will pay bills, support a family or an individual, or be put towards a material goal. Parents may work to pay for their child’s upbringing and education. A high school student may work to pay for auto insurance and possibly his or her own car. A college student may work to pay for university courses and books. Money is a highly important factor when it comes to living comfortably.

In the workplace theory of motivation, company owners and bosses understand how important money is. For this reason, they may offer employees monetary rewards or benefits for a job well done. They understand that an employee who is happy will reap prosperity for their company.

Who’s the boss?

On-the-job responsibility is another element in the workplace theory of motivation. Most workers take great pride in their work and in the job that they perform. People become motivated by the responsibilities that their jobs can bring. For example, an assistant manager at a retail store may do his or her best to get as many sales as possible and to learn as much as possible about management of the store. This may be due to the fact that this person has the hope of one day becoming manager of the entire store. Responsibility, therefore, is also rated highly in the theory of motivation.

The workplace as a meeting place:

Some people are not concerned about salary or job advancement. Instead, they are interested in the social part of the workplace. Because of this, the desire for a social life is part of the theory of motivation in the workplace. Typically, wives who are the secondary providers in a household that does not require them to work, still take jobs because they find that staying at home is boring.

At work, they will meet friends to chat with, go out with after work hours, or simply to confide in and share experiences with. Many elderly people also take on careers for this reason. Many older people become bored with retirement or lonely staying home alone. They work in order to have a social life. Thus, a social life is also part of the theory of motivation in the workplace.