My Essay Blog

Are you looking for someone who will hold you accountable to achieving your goals? Career coaching and mentoring may be what you need to accomplish what you really want in your career. Your friends and family certainly love you and want the best for you, but they can’t always make the time to devote the necessary hours you may need to achieve your objectives and goals. Your friends and family have objectives and goals that they are looking to achieve as well.

Coaching is one of the best investments that I have made. Although there are many coaching packages that you can choose with becoming a coaching client, generally speaking, the coach and client usually have a weekly call, which lasts from about 45 to 55 minutes. Email communication is usually included between each coaching call.

I have worked with many terrific people who were extremely talented and were over qualified in the position in which they were working. I could only imagine how much happier and productive they would be if they had hired a career coach to work with them.

Why should you consider hiring a career coach?

1. You have someone who is focused on your objectives and goals.

Your coaching calls are all about you. Your coach will hold you accountable for your actions to achieve your goals. Many career coaches have graduated from CoachU (.coachu.com) and have been educated and trained on holding clients accountable to achieving their goals.

That’s why many coaches offer a free initial consultation. This initial consultation will better determine if you and your potential coach are compatible. There’s nothing wrong if a particular coach and you are not compatible. The same principle applies with other professional services. You may not be compatible with every accountant, lawyer, contractor, plumber, hairdresser, mechanic or web-designer.

2. You have someone who is objective toward you.

As mentioned before, you have family and friends that love you and they may think that any work you do is awesome, but you are generally getting a subjective opinion. A coach would be able to objectively prepare you for such events as a job interview, calls from clients, querying an editor, writing a resume and getting better organized.

3. Someday leads to a town of Nowhere

How many of us have always said that we wanted to do things such as write a book, start our own business and switch careers? When did you want to start doing those wonderful things? I have done all three by working with a coach! From what I know of myself, I would not have done these things had I not been working with a coach. I might have looked back and thought shoulda, coulda, woulda. I didn’t want to look back years from now and have those regrets.

4. Coaching Can Be A Great Investment

Coaching can cost a lot less than many seminars. What is the total amount of money that you have you spent on self-help items, such as books, audiocassettes, CD’s, Videos, DVD’s and seminars? Did you spend hundreds &ndash maybe thousands of dollars? What kind of rate of return did you get on your investment? Did you achieve your objectives after you read that book, listened to that CD, watched that DVD or went to that seminar? The aforementioned items most likely contained great information on how to achieve your goals. But did any of those items personally hold you accountable and ensured that you achieved your goals?

Like any other professional service, coaching costs money. Coaches are educated and trained professionals who provide valuable services. If your sink needed fixing and you had no idea how to fix it, would you hire a plumber to fix your sink? Hopefully! A plumber is paid to do something with specific measurable results: fix your sink. If your career needs fixing, what would you do? Coaching goes beyond specific measurable results. Can you put a price on having a career that you love?

I have always wanted to become a writer. My coach taught me how to write more effectively to express my point, get the attention of editors, and get my articles published. I cannot put a price on what I have learned by coaching!

What’s the purpose of life and how to I get there? Those are two of the most asked questions on this planet. Have you ever asked yourself something similar to that?

You have something very unique in your life to accomplish, which is very great. Of course, the question that comes after that is, ‘What is it then?’ But that is just about as far as most people will ever go. You may ask yourself this question, think about for a few minutes, come up with no answers, and then just go on with your daily routine.

If you ever want to accomplish your purpose you have to go beyond the ‘What is it’ question. How do you do that?

You first have to realize that you won’t have all the answers in the beginning. If you are waiting for a bolt of lightning to your hit you and reveal to you what it is your supposed to do in life, it will never happen that way.

The first thing you need to determine is what you are passionate about. What gets you so excited that you can hardly contain yourself when you think about it? Or what cause makes your blood boil when you hear people talk about it? Most likely this is the starting point of your greatness.

Why do I say the starting point? Because once you finally have an idea about what you want to do you must then ask, “in what direction do I go?” and “how do I start?” Believe it or not, those questions don’t matter as much as you may think they do.

The second thing you need to do is to simply begin pursuing your passion. Don’t let the question of ‘What direction do I go or how do I start’ stop you from actually starting. Most likely, there is some type of organization, group, or online presence that is doing something very similar to what you have a passion to do. Get involved with these people. They have probably already laid much of the groundwork in developing what you are passionate about. You can then jump right in and start helping them.

By being around these people you will begin to develop and fine-tune exactly what your purpose is. As a matter of fact, your initial purpose for getting involved may change somewhat as you begin to develop your greatness.

That’s why it is not so important to know everything about what you want to do before you start doing it. It’s kind of like this: Imagine you are in Los Angeles and you want to drive to Florida. You aren’t real sure where you want to go in Florida but you know Florida is where you need to go. You have two options:

1. You can research, study, ask people, look at maps, and all kinds of things to try and find out the best way to get to Florida. You are not going to leave until you know exactly how to get there, the dangers involved, the speed traps to watch out for, where to best rest stops are…you get my point. The problem with this is that you will never know everything about how to get to Florida.

2. You can just start driving. You may ask one or two people you meet along the way which road to use and then just go. On your journey you will meet people who will help you with the best routes, and they will even tell you of places they went to and experiences they had on their way to Florida. By the time you get there, you will have gained so much knowledge that you now know exactly where you want to go in Florida.

The point is this, you can sit around and wait for the perfect opportunity to fulfill your purpose or you can simply start out on your journey and, along the way, you will discover and fulfill your purpose.

My suggestion is: just start moving!

As life coaching is gaining popularity, so is interest in becoming a life coach. Many people love the idea of working for themselves and being in a profession that helps others. If you are thinking about becoming a life coach, there are several factors you need to consider.

First, decide what type of life coach you want to become. The word “life” covers a lot of territory so life coaches tend to specialize in specific areas. These areas include career and finance, goal setting, relationships, weight loss/fitness and drugs and alcohol, just to name a few.

What is your passion and how do you want to inspire others to create success in their lives?

When thinking about what type of life coach you want to be, examine your career, education and life experience to find your current strengths.

Once you have an idea of what area you want to focus on, consider what a life coach does. This is tricky because there is no one definition or universal standard so several interpretations exist. You need to develop a format in which you will teach successful actions to your clients.

A qualified life coach can break down goals into manageable, easier to confront steps while showing the client effective techniques for completing them. Just knowing what and how is not enough because clients often get in their own way. The life coach will evaluate their progress and motivate them to implement a plan with consistent action to actually achieve desired results. Before you begin on this path, know that there is a difference between understanding what to do and being able to get someone to do it.

There are three essential elements involved in becoming a life coach and they are training, skills and education. When it comes to training, there are many life coaching academies that offer courses and some even offer accreditation. Many of these courses have actual and practical value. Please note that there is no federal or state agency that has an accreditation for life coaching and schools offering degrees are self-accredited.

If you are considering taking any of these courses first look into the costs involved. Often an inexpensive introductory course is offered only to get you started. Since costs can add up quickly, check into the length of time, the number of additional courses required and make sure to get referrals from other students. Another important point to check for first is whether or not the school provides adequate tools for practical application when working with clients. This will be very helpful for beginners in developing step-by-step methods for life coaching.

There are a few key skills that are absolutely essential. For starters, you need to be a good listener, a creative problem solver and have considerable knowledge of human behavior. You need to be able to set goals and develop plans of action to actualize them. Life coaching requires that you are organized and can keep meticulous attention to detail to monitor weekly results.

Patience and the ability to deal with frustration are critical. Clients don’t always do what they agree to do and getting people to suddenly give up destructive behavior patterns can be a real challenge. You need to know how to motivate and be creative in overcoming obstacles and objections. You have to really like and care about people. You must also be able to accept failure as not all clients will change. There are a few more skills involved but these are fundamental.

A life coach should love education in order to stay informed of current advances and trends. The areas that require consistent study are psychology, goal setting, motivation, cognitive psychology, cognitive science, human behavior, habits of successful people, sleep patterns, relationships, business principles, principles of success, career development, drugs, alcohol, leadership, sales and more. A life coach is a relentless student of these subjects.

Life coaching is a proactive approach to resolving obstacles in an individual’s life and it requires a clear picture of not only why and how, but also of step-by-step implementation and the ability to resolve blocks and setbacks as they come up. You’ll need to combine these factors into a working platform to assist your clients in reaching their goals.

Finally, when you are ready to start life coaching, how are you going to get clients? The idea of working for yourself and helping people may sound great, and it is but it comes with its difficulties. You are not going to simply get business cards made then start filling your appointment book. Schools offering great careers as life-coaches will only be able to give you limited assistance in getting clients. After you spend your time and money either with a life coaching school or developing your own style of life coaching it will be up to you to get clients. You are one hundred percent responsible for your income and success.

You should enjoy networking and self-promoting. You can build a clientele through friends, networking groups, placing ads, professional relationships, and whatever other creative ways you can think of. As you get clients and earn a reputation, your business will grow through referrals. All this takes time, so be prepared.

As you are developing your business, you will have to overcome the obstacle of people questioning what a life coach does. Be prepared by asking yourself why someone would pay you to advise him or her and have a good answer. The answer you develop to that question will be the foundation for your success.

After considering all of these factors, if you decide to become a life coach you will be entering a dynamic field. Being able to actually help people create the life changes they want is a highly rewarding and exciting career. You’ll be helping others gain success while creating your own!

Have you ever heard the saying, “Where there is a will, there is a way”? For the average person trying to lose weight, this particular phrase is so easy to say - yet so difficult to do. Whether you are struggling to shed a few unwanted pounds or to plummet ten pants sizes, success often depends on weight loss motivation.

Why lose the weight?

Looking slim and trim for your ten year class reunion. Fitting into your wedding dress when the ceremony is just weeks away. Securing a spot on your college wrestling team. Avoiding heart disease. To succeed, everyone needs a weight loss motivation that will make them want to put down the fork and step away from the double chocolate fudge cake.

So ask yourself: What drives you to achieve your weight loss goal? Deep inside, you must have a vision of what you want to look like and why you want to look that way. What feelings will weight loss make you feel? Confidence? Health? Happiness? Without knowing the answer to these questions, what prevents you from going to your favorite fast food restaurant right now and ordering three cheeseburgers and a large fry? At least realize the answer to that question: NOTHING.

Develop a strategy:

Once you have discovered what your weight loss motivation is, you can then create a plan to achieve your desired weight. Before you jump on the treadmill and start running, however, it is a very wise idea to put together a weight loss strategy.

Below you will find a sample strategy:

-The first thing on your weight loss strategy list should be to get a scale and place a blank notebook on the floor next to it. Now comes the hard part. Each and every day, make it mandatory for yourself to weigh in. (Note: It is important that you weigh in at approximately the same time of the day, every day. This will make your weight reading the most accurate.) Seeing your progress or failure in writing each day can be a superb motivator. You simply cannot hide from the facts.

-Next, it is a wise idea - especially if you have no will power - to remove from your home the junk food that you can’t trust yourself around. You don’t need to get rid of every little item with more than 100 calories. But if you know you can’t stop yourself from eating just 20 chips… get rid of the bag! And for some extra motivation, try hanging a picture of your favorite swimsuit model on your refrigerator door. That may stop you from eating that cream puff.

-Part of your weight loss strategy can even include one of the most motivating things around: a friend or family member who will take a walk with you on every lunch break, or who will sign up for an aerobics class with you. Don’t forget: the people around you can be a great weight loss motivation. Use them to your advantage. You may opt to go to Burger King at lunch time, but chances are if you have a health-conscious co-worker to take walks with, he or she will motivate (or guilt) you to exercise and eat an apple instead.

No one ever said that losing weight was easy. But if you ask yourself what your weight loss motivation is, figure out what your driving force is, and use some simple motivating strategies, you can achieve what you desire. There is always a way if you have the will.

Change is the key to our success and to our financial future. Often in our own lives, however, change is something we fiercely resist. Even when achievement sits on our doorstep, we’re still too comfortable to make an adjustment. The very first place to look for transformation is within. When you take ownership of yourself, your life and your income, you are on your way to harnessing success.

I learned early in my life that if things needed to change, it was up to me to change them.

I have had the great pleasure of working with Jim Rohn, who inspired me to new levels of success and happiness. When I first met Mr. Rohn, I was sitting at a dinner table with ten other people. I grabbed a seat near him and just wanted to listen to his words of wisdom and conversation. When a lull in the conversation arose, I was caught off guard when Mr. Rohn asked me about my goals, dreams and aspirations. In response, I began to talk about many of the roadblocks I had experienced in my pursuit of success. I listed all the reasons why I wasn’t able to achieve my goals and dreams. I let him know who was to blame and insisted none of it was my fault. I thought I had made a pretty good case and then the hammer dropped. Jim looked at me and said, “Kurt, for things to change, you must change, and for things to get better, you must get better.” That brief moment in time changed my life forever. It was then that I realized that everything I wanted in life is on the other side of change, not the other side of excuse. I also realized that no matter the excuse (good or bad), it would not produce results.

If you want to make the same kind of transformation in your life, the first thing you have to do is take an honest look at yourself and where you are. You can’t make changes if you won’t acknowledge what needs to be changed. Where are you starting? What is your current situation? If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be? It is only from honestly assessing where point A is that you can develop a well-defined, well-planned route to point B. Then the next obvious thing to determine is where or at what point B is located. In other words, what exactly are you aiming for? What do you want?

Now is not the time to be timid.

Don’t shortchange yourself because you want to be “careful” or “reasonable” or you don’t want to “rock the boat.” Shoot for the stars! You’ll define the path to get there, but first you have to know what exactly you’re even trying to reach. In other words, you must begin with the end result and then work your way backward. You have to know exactly where you want to go and what you need to change to get there. Sometimes, people are actually afraid of being “too” successful. To be brilliant or amazing might actually be a scary proposition. As success comes into sight, you might feel a lot of responsibility weighing down on you. So, how successful should you be? How healthy should you be? How wealthy should you be? How strong should your relationships be? Consider the following powerful quote from Nelson Mandela:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the World.

There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.”

&ndash 1994 Inaugural Speech

We are unique creatures. In spite of the seeds of greatness that lie within us, we seem to program ourselves to do the least amount possible to get by. That is, we often do only what is necessary to survive. I see this tendency with my students at the local university all the time. Their mentality is: What is the least amount of work I can do to pass this class? They are paying top dollar to get their education yet rarely do you see a student take advantage of all the learning that is at her/his disposal. We see symptoms of the same mental laziness, lack of progress and resistance to change in the workplace, too:

What is the least amount of work I can do to get a paycheck and not get fired? When we are in this lazy mindset, we can’t find happiness, and as a result, our souls start to rust.

The challenge is that we often don’t see the consequences of our behavior fast enough.

Time ticks by, and by the time we’re even aware of how off course we’ve gotten, years have flown by. We live in a society where we want the quick fix, the easy way out.

Unfortunately, however, that is not how life works. If it takes someone five years to gain twenty pounds, why does someone else think he can completely lose it in a couple weeks? Another example is fast food. We know it’s not good for us, and yet hey, nothing bad happened today after I had that super-size order of fries. The consequences of the unhealthy food will take time to manifest, but in the meantime, the instant gratification of a fast and delicious meal now overpowers concerns about the future that, in the moment, seem immaterial. Imagine if every time you ate at a fast food restaurant the consequences were immediate. You took a bite and felt a bulge near your midsection. If that were the case, it wouldn’t take long before you changed your ways.

There are thousands of habits and patterns in our lives that fit the instant gratification scenario. Another example is debt. So what do we do when we’re constantly confronted with such difficult choices: immediate pleasure versus future gain? What do we do about it? You would be very wise to make a habit as soon as possible of analyzing your life on at least a weekly basis. Determine what you want to change now, not after years of reinforcing the wrong habits. The saying goes, “Old habits die hard” and it’s really true.

Stop destructive cycles now before the strands that bind you become impenetrable rope.

Without changing your action, your wishes and hopes will only be whims that never go anywhere. It’s time for you dreams to start to bear fruit!

So, are you ready to welcome change into your life? Good! Remember, as Albert Einstein said, “You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it.” Once you have recognized the need to change and have embraced the opportunity to change, then you will need to start organizing your plan of action. Think backward. What is the big picture? What are the major phases within that big picture? What are the steps within each phase that will move you from one point to the next? It is worth pointing out here that you must be careful not to let the opinions of others dissuade you. I’m sure you’ve experienced this before&ndashyou’ve gotten yourself all excited and pumped up, you tell someone you really care about all your great plans and they barely listen or care. Or worse, they start pointing out all the reasons why your plan isn’t going to work or why it’s a bad idea. Crash! You can’t remember the last time you felt so deflated.

I’ll admit that it is hard to stay focused and persistent when people spit on your dreams. Fear of failure, fear of what others will think&ndashthese are totally normal feelings. But you can’t let them debilitate you. Napoleon Hill said, “The fear of criticism robs man of his initiative, destroys his power of imagination, limits his individuality and takes away his self-reliance.” You are destined for greatness. Follow your heart not the useless criticism and discouragement of those who have forgotten how to live and dream.

So many people assume that if they don’t try, then they can’t fail. If they don’t try, no one will criticize them either. The tragedy of this mindset is that they will fail by virtue of never having even attempted to succeed. George Shinn once said, “Growth means change and change involves risks, stepping from the known to the unknown.” I have always loved the phrase “jump and the net will appear.” Consider the fact that most of the fears we face in life are not life-and-death matters. And yet, we are so gripped by our fears that it’s almost as though they were life-and-death matters.

The next time you feel yourself paralyzed by fear, stop and honestly assess your feelings.

What is the worst thing that could really happen? Are the possible setbacks really life-or death situations, or are they just opportunities to learn and grow, even if they are sometimes unpleasant or painful? Reflect on the fact that almost all successful people have their stories about where they came from and what they had to go through to achieve success. What’s more, it’s rarely a rosy picture. It might also be worth asking yourself what the worst thing is that could happen if you do nothing. Chances are the consequences might be more severe in the case of inaction versus action. Either way, there is a price to be paid. Do you want regrets or do you want results? We say no to some things because we are saying yes to other things. You just need to be sure you know what hangs in the balance either way. Sometimes it is the realization of the imminent, stark reality hitting us in the face that provides the momentum for change. Whatever the motivator is, just don’t let fear stop you from forging ahead.

Would you like to start being more productive right now? Want to stop wasting precious time and move your projects to completion? This article will focus on how to be more productive from this point forward.

The key to becoming more productive with your time is to concentrate your efforts on the task at hand. So how do you begin to concentrate your efforts? The key is to eliminate distractions.

Distractions come from two sources. The first source is outside things, such as phone calls, emails, interruptions from other people and so on. Pick a time when you feel at your peak, and sequester yourself, for a period of time each day, to give yourself a real boost in productivity. Develop your own methods to “hide” from the outside world, for a period of time each day, and you will see your output grow.

The second source of distractions comes from within. Unfortunately, this is the hardest source of distractions to control. It is hard to shut yourself off from yourself. . The key culprit for us is multitasking. Many studies have been done at this point, that show multitasking reduces productivity, instead of increasing it. Our minds can only hold one thought at a time, and switching tasks causes us to lose focus and momentum, and forces our mind to play “catch-up” over and over again. To become more productive, you must master the art of focusing on one thing at a time and give it your best effort and attention, until it is done. If boredom sets in while you are working on your task, give yourself a SHORT break, and remind yourself of what the ultimate objective is for what you are working on and what the payoff is to you.

You need to make sure the task you pick to concentrate on, is in fact your highest priority item. Many of us fall into the trap of staying busy, vs. staying productive. One task may clear mountains of paperwork off your desk ,or you might be better served by moving just one piece of high priority/high payback paper. Use the 80/20 rule to help find the true “gems” in your inbox. The 80/20 rule says that 80% of the gains you receive, come from 20% of your efforts. Find out what that 20% of high payoff project are and make sure you concentrate on accomplishing them first.

And of course don’t forget the basics of time management. Say no to as many projects as you can to help streamline your workload. Try to “cherry pick” projects you know in advance hold high payback potential and try to pass on lower priority projects. Also delegate as much lower payback activity as possible. Calculate the value of your time and try to delegate low value activities, even if you have to pay someone. It is money well spent.

Increased productivity is as close as your next thought. Remember everything counts. Every action you take as well as those actions you don’t take can help you move towards your goal of increased productivity. Constantly remind yourself of your need to be more productive and discipline yourself to do the right thing. Don’t beat yourself if you have a setback, but be certain to reward yourself in someway, for each action that moves

your productivity up a notch.

What Is Personal Development?

Personal development used to be a course taught at business and vocational schools around the United States.

It was long since held that self-improvement was an essential aspect of succeeding in a more and more competitive marketplace that left little room for those who would not be able to pull their own weight &ndash usually because of self image problems.

Personal growth was considered to be the antidote to the possibility of failure very often experienced by job changers, vocation changers, and those who might embark on a new career at a more advanced age than most of their competitors in the marketplace.

Personal development was said to be effective in combining an individual’s innate wish for success with a change in the person’s mode of viewing her - or himself and also the way the person is portraying her - or himself to others.

NLP - neuro-linguistic programming &ndash is one of the favored tools of the personal development movement. Since it offers a wide variety of tools and techniques, this application itself promises success simply because of its superior adaptability to the needs of the person seeking personal development.

For example, for those will simply performance anxiety problems, a large number of exercises will make an accomplished introvert out of a phobic introvert who is sent into stammering or excessive sweating bits at the prospect of speaking in front of a crowd.

For the person suffering from extreme anxiety the idea of meditation &ndash well within the framework of NLP &ndash will quite often yield amazing results.

While traditionalists might scoff at the idea of personal development simply because it is such a subjective exercise, it is noteworthy that many people sear by it and attribute their business success to lessons learned and exercises attempted during a personal development seminar.

Perhaps the most important aspect to remember when discussing personal development is the fact that it seeks to capitalize on a person’s good intentions.

These intentions may be the wish to succeed in business the innate need to be useful, or maybe just the wish to further the role of leadership a person has taken within a corporation or business.

The goal is to draw out the good intentions and turn them into marketable objectives which the client will be able to realize and develop further, so as to ensure that her or his confidence will grow enough to pursue the next level of professional development.

For those who are gifted with a go-get-it attitude, this need may be hard to understand, but suffice it to say that in a world where corporate success is hard won, and abilities have to be proven time and again, those who may suffer from a lack of self esteem have often found themselves relegated to the sidelines.

If this is you, it is also important to understand that you do not have to be on the sidelines, but that you have everything it takes to make it up the ladder of success!

Author Charles Williams: For more information on Motivation and Self Improvement visit: .lsft.org

For the most part, we are all conformists. We will do what the crowd does. We might not like to admit that, but it is true. Only 5 to 10 percent of the population engages in behavior contrary to the social norm.

We see this law operating in groups, in organizations, in meetings, and in day-to-day public life. In all of these circumstances, there is a certain standard or norm. In churches, the moral code determines the standard behavior acceptable for the group. In organizations, the bylaws and years of tradition establish a standard operating procedure. Because we want to fit into these groups and maintain our membership with them, we conform our actions to the norm.

We seek to find out what others are doing as a way of validating our own actions. This method is how we decide what constitutes “correct” behavior. We see the behavior as more correct when we see others doing it. The more people do it, the more correct it becomes. Professor Kirk Hansen of the Stanford Business School demonstrated this when he boosted downloads for best-selling files on the Web by downloading those files over and over himself so the counter was artificially high. He and his team then observed that these boosted downloaded files were downloaded even more frequently. The high number on the counter indicated popularity, and people were most interested in downloading the files that were already ranked the highest. Whether the question is what to do with an empty can of soda at the park, how fast to drive in the city, or how to eat the soup at a restaurant, the validation of others give us our answers and therefore guides our actions.

We feel validation when we see others do what we want to do. We learned early in life that we make fewer mistakes when we follow the social norm. There are two types of norms: explicit and implicit. Explicit norms are openly spoken or written. For example, road signs, employee manuals, or game rules are all examples of explicit norms. Implicit norms are not usually stated openly. For example, you usually don’t have to be directed to say hello or to smile when you see someone, but you do it anyway. Or, somehow you know better than to put your feet up on the dinner table when you’re a guest in someone’s home, even though your host most likely will not request that you refrain from doing so.

If we don’t know the norm, we look around and find it. The Law of Social Validation becomes a way to save time and energy in figuring out what is correct. We use others’ behavior to guide our own actions, to validate what we should or should not do. We don’t always have to look at the positive and the negative in every situation. This automatic trigger saves us from thinking. We compare what we do against the standard of what everyone else is doing. If we find a discrepancy between what we observe and what we do, we tend to make changes in the direction of the social norm.

Social validation compels us to change our behaviors, our attitudes, and our actions, even when what we observe doesn’t really match our true feelings, style, and thoughts. We go against our better judgment because we want to be liked, accepted, and found in agreement with everyone else. When we are part of a crowd, we “no longer feel individually responsible for our emotions or actions. We can allow ourselves to shout, sing, cry, or strike without temperament imposed by personal accountability.”

We seek out social norms to help us know what we should be feeling or doing. For the most part, this is not a conscious process. We subconsciously accept many ways of behaving that are determined by our surroundings and the actions of others, such as raising our hands to speak in class, tipping in a restaurant, or how we behave at a concert. When we become part of a group, our once divergent emotions and feelings tend to converge.

When we find ourselves in a foreign situation where we feel awkward or unsure of how to act, we look for those social cues that will dictate our behavior. This could be at a party, during freshman orientation, or even while attending a family gathering. When the social information we are seeking is at all ambiguous, we don’t know how to respond and thus continue seeking out social clues. Imagine if you were sitting in the movie theater enjoying your show when somebody shouted, “FIRE!” Do you think you would jump up and run for it? Well, if everyone else did, you would, too. If everyone remained seated, you would remain seated also.

You have the choice to control negativity and self-sabotaging behavior by creating positive beliefs and envisioning positive outcomes. Through a practice called “thought stopping,” you can change direction when you find yourself slipping into a negative thought pattern. Say to yourself, with a loud and firm inner voice: STOP! Once you’ve done this, it’s important to replace your previous thought with a more positive statement and image. Clearly acknowledge which statements cause you to feel pain or threat, and which statements allow you to feel success, joy and happiness.

When people unnecessarily stress themselves by thinking that they have no control over a controllable situation, they need to use their inner voice to shout out the word “STOP.” Then, change track and think about how the situation can be redirected.

Now, take this opportunity to practice “thought stopping.” What reoccurring thought causes you to feel negative, or some form of discomfort, pain, or threat? (Example: Taking risks makes me feel anxious.) Now write it down!

Next, with a loud and firm inner voice, shout out “STOP!” Again, “STOP!” Replace your negative feeling or thought with a positive statement. (Example: When I take risks I experience excitement, learn more about myself, and feel encouraged to risk again.)

When you attach specific positive words to positive feelings and experiences, you can recall positive feelings at will by using those words. Now apply the positive affirmation for yourself. Using your positive statement, attach it to feelings of success, joy, and happiness. For example, “When I challenge and encourage myself, I consistently move toward my goals with a success attitude, ‘I Can I Will.’ ”

Recite the statement to yourself several times. Each time, experience the positive feelings the statement generates. When you anchor positive words or statements to positive feelings, you can recall the positive feeling anytime you desire and create more positive outcomes, consistently.

Challenge yourself. Stop your self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors. Practicing thought stopping on a continual basis allows you to eliminate negative thoughts to become more aware of your feelings of accomplishment, self-acceptance, and of positive choice and change. Your new, bright thoughts and feelings of pleasure, joy and happiness drive you toward your destination of success. Positive feelings and beliefs increase your self-worth and self-esteem, empowering you to take action.

We live in a busy society. We may have demanding jobs, children, families and many other “important” things that hoover up all of our time, and before we know it, Christmas is looming once more and we’re muttering about another year just passing us by.

How many times do you say, “I’ll read that book later when I have more time” or “I’ll finish listening to that audio program when I have more time” or something very similar?

You may want to create the life of your dreams, but it just seems so very difficult with so many other things that just have to be dealt with. You may not have the time to spend an hour a day meditating and an hour a day working on your personal development and an hour a day working on your business. In fact, for some of us, we’re lucky if we can even find time to sleep!

However, the key is not the spend time “doing” personal development work, but to just do it!

This means live it; make it a part of your life; something that you do every moment of every day in everything that you do with everyone that you meet.

You can sit on the bus or train to work, close your eyes and work on releasing emotional blocks. You can become aware of what people are reflecting back to you about yourself in your conversations and interactions. Being aware of your problems brings you much closer to changing them.

You may want to find more time to listen to audio programs or some of my hypnosis CD’s. My hypnosis CD’s you can put on when you go to bed to listen to. You don’t need to use headphones to listen to them, nor do you have to be awake. The subliminal versions can be listened to anytime, even when you are working and doing other things; so you can still get the benefit of the programs.

For spoken word programs, what about listening to them on your commute to work? Or if you spend your evening sat in front of the television, turn it off and put one of these programs on instead.

Look at how you are using your time. How much of what you are doing is constructive and something you absolutely must do right now? Are there times you are not doing constructive things? Could you combine activities, for example, watch the television whilst doing something else working towards your future?

Everyone promotes their own time management system. Have a look at a few of them, try them and find something that works for you. This could even be a combination of different systems. It doesn’t matter so long as it saves you times, keeps your organised and helps you to get things done.

At the end of the day, you need to decide what is most important in your life.

Is it more important to do the ironing right now and make sure you don’t miss the latest episode of your soap opera?

Or is it more important to sit down and spend some time planning and working towards creating the life of your dreams?

Working on changing your life can appear to be very daunting, particularly if you are not in the best of places to start with. You look at everything that you want to change and want to deal with and wonder where on earth you are going to start.

In these cases it is best to “chunk” down the tasks and the goals you have in mind. This means break the big goal into smaller chunks, or take baby steps. Take it one step at a time, and before you know it, you will be where you want to be.

How many people get to their old age and say, “I wish I had spent more time at work” or ironing, or watching soap operas, or …

So what can you do to find more time

Look at what activities you are engaged in and decide which you can cut out for the sake of creating the future of your dreams Combine some activities so you are doing more than one thing at a time

Focus on what is important to you. Is half hour in front of a soap opera more important than a half hour working towards your future?

Prioritise creating the life of your dreams

Right now, stop saying, “I’ll start tomorrow” or “I’ll sort that out when I have time” or “I’ll deal with that later”. It’s never going to happen; never going to work. Just do it and make it happen right now.

The perfect situation for change will never happen. You will always find distractions, excuses and reasons not to make the changes or take the action. You can spend many miserable years waiting for that perfect situation and you know what? There’s never going to be a perfect situation, only the now.

As the advert for the trainers say, “Just do it”. That’s what you need to do too. Stop planning, putting off and thinking you’ll do something when you have more time. Just do it today

“We are all born with the same amount of time. Nobody will ever get any more than 24 hours in a day; nobody will get more than 365 days in a year. It’s your choice whether you will use this time to create an amazing life or fritter it away uselessly. It is this choice that makes the achievers stand head and shoulders above everyone else. What’s your choice? Jason E. Johns

“Plan your work for today and every day, then work your plan” Margaret Thatcher

“Look to this day … for yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision. But today well-lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope.” Sanskrit