My Essay Blog

Each of us has an inner critic. There is no way to grow up in our society without having developed this inner critical voice &ndash which comes from parents, teachers, peers, the media, and from our own conclusions.

The problem is that this inner critic sounds like a voice of authority when in reality it doesn’t know what it is talking about. It is a voice based on beliefs that have been handed down through generations but that have no basis in fact.

How often has this voice said to you:

“You can’t do it. You are inadequate.”

“You are stupid and ugly.”

“If he (or she) rejects you, it is because you are not okay.”

“You had better do it right. If you don’t, everyone will know that you are a fraud.”

“It is NOT okay to make a mistake.”

…and so on.

This inner critic speaks with such authority that it is tempting to believe what it says. Yet is knows only lies. It knows nothing of who you really are.

When this voice is criticizing you, it is criticizing the “you” that it thinks you are &ndash your ego wounded self. The critic, having come into being to help you survive and protect you from rejection, long ago decided that who you really are is not good enough. When you experienced judgment or rejection from the important people in your life, you likely concluded that you were being rejected because you weren’t good enough or lovable enough or worthy enough or smart enough or attractive enough…and so on. You may have had no idea when you were being judged or rejected, rather than loved and accepted, that it actually had nothing to do with you. You probably had no idea that you cannot CAUSE another person to be judgmental or rejecting, or loving and accepting. You likely had no idea that others’ behavior is not under your control.

If you believed that you were causing others to judge or reject you, you may have decided that who you really are is not good enough. So you started to judge and reject yourself as you attempted to create a “self” that would be loved and accepted. The inner critic &ndash your ego wounded self &ndash is the self you created. You came to believe that if you judged yourself enough, you would make yourself into an acceptable person.

The problem is that none of this is true. There never was anything wrong with your true Self, your essence, your soul. It was, and is, a perfect expression of the Source from which we are all a part.

When your wounded self is criticizing you, it is criticizing your looks, your intelligence, or your performance. But none of this is who you are.

Who you are &ndash what is truly worthy, lovable and valuable about you &ndash is your ability to love. Not how you look, not how smart you are, not how much money you have or how big your house is. Your true Self is an individualized expression of God (or whatever you want to call our Source), and God is Love.

Next time you hear the authoritative voice of your inner critic, instead of giving that voice credence, stop listening to that voice. Treat that voice with compassion, like a child who acts like it knows everything. Instead of acting on that voice, open instead to the voice of your true Self &ndash the voice of Truth.

Do this simply by asking, with a deep desire to learn, “What is the truth?” Your Higher Self will answer you. This Self is the true voice of authority, even though it may be much softer and gentler than the loud voice of your inner critic.

Each time you hear the critical voice, ask your Higher Self “What is the truth?” If you take action based on the Truth rather than on the false beliefs of your inner critic, you will find yourself feeling so much better in so many ways!

One of the best tips for panic attacks you can follow is to learn how to be prepared. At first this may seem difficult to do since most panic attacks strike completely without warning. Unfortunately, this aspect of panic attacks can make the experience of having one even more difficult and frightening. Learning how to be prepared for a panic attack, even when you are not expecting one; however, can help you to come one step closer to dealing with the reality of panic attacks effectively and quickly.

One of the first tips for panic attacks and steps in developing your own individualized plan for panic attacks includes taking the time to learn breathing exercises. While it is true that breathing exercises can help stop a panic attack or reduce the symptoms of a panic attack, it is important to note that waiting until you are in the midst of a panic attack is not the time to learn a breathing exercise. In fact, it can make matters worse. Being proactive is the key here. Try learning a simple breathing exercise when you are not feeling anxious and then take the time to practice it every day. It doesn’t take very long, only about 5 minutes and can prove to be very helpful when you are faced with a panic attack. As you practice your breathing exercises you will quite likely find that it will become natural for you to shift your breathing during a panic attack. This can help to reduce anxiety and stress which can eventually reduce the number of panic attacks you experience.

Other important tips for panic attacks include learning relaxation exercises. While it may seem as though it would be impossible to relax in the middle of a panic attack it is just as possible to practice relaxation techniques as it is to change your breathing patterns. Like breathing exercises, you will eventually learn to naturally relax your muscles during an attack; thereby reducing the symptoms. Much like breathing techniques; however, it is important not to wait until you are in the middle of an attack to try this treatment method. Begin practicing when you are feeling calm and then work on it a few minutes every day.

Tips for panic attacks should also focus on developing a strong social support network. Create a list of people whom you trust and know you can call when you are experiencing a panic attack. Consider family, friends, support group members and your therapist. Write their names and telephone numbers down and them place lists with this information in places where you can find them easily, such as on the refrigerator, in your purse or wallet, in your car and at work. Focus on expanding your support network so that it does not include just one or two people.

Learning to be prepared for panic attacks is one of the best tips for panic attacks you can follow as it can actually help you cope with the symptoms of and even reduce the number of attacks you have.

For over three centuries, the Chinese people have found in Feng Shui the source for of internal and external balance and harmony. We all are searching for a little harmony in our life. Today’s fast-paced life assails all our senses with demands and expectations. Stress, anxiety and tension accumulate as the ongoing demands of work and family, home and free time push us to the very brink. Pushed and pulled by the equally demanding expectations of boss and family. Driven to the end of our rope by the increasing demands of life, the bills and everyday battles we push our own hopes and dreams into the background. Everyday, another e-mail, phone call or traffic jam, pushes us to the limit. In this environment, energy is fast depleted and tension dramatically increased. How to escape this self-perpetuating treadmill? Turn your home into a peaceful sanctuary by utilizing the techniques of Feng Shui.

The concept behind Feng Shui is to harness positive energy. Using the guiding principles, you can identify the difficulties within your physical environment and remove them. While, this may appear to be another project, consider the short and long term benefits. Feng Shui, once learned and applied will provide you with relief from stress increase your personal energy levels and help you to improve your overall sense of well-being. Time learning the correct implementation of the principles of Feng Shui is time well spent.

A life in which energy is unfocused, prevented by the stress of the environment, a life in which all efforts seem wasted, is a life unbalanced, a life without Feng Shui. The accumulation of ongoing stress will, eventually, manifest itself in the physical body. Stress releases specific hormones ion the body. An overabundance of cortisol and adrenaline can contribute to heart disease and other chronic illnesses. The immune system, too, becomes affected, increasing the incidences of colds and flus.

To avoid such possible problems, rest is traditionally prescribed. The ability of sleep to improve your energy levels is magnified- truly heightened, when Feng Shui is employed. Feng Shui will show you how to correctly align your bedroom to obtain the maximum amount of good. It will guide you in the placement of your bed and council you on what accessories are required to reduce stress and increase energy.

The principles of Feng Shui are predicated on obtaining the maximum positive energy. It acts to counteract the negative impact of daily and repetitive stress and anxiety. These negative forces sap the life energy from you. Feng Shui operates to restore your energy, reduce your stress levels and create a positive environment by showing you how to arrange your physical environment to facilitate the flow of Chi energy. Learning how to place objects and arrange your spatial environment to manifest optimum positive energy flow, will help you in all aspects of your life. A Feng Shui designed home will ensure you are provided with the positive energy and harmonious balance you require to not merely live, but thrive in today’s world.

Most of us, if not all of us have felt nervous at one time or another in our lives. Public speaking is something that makes most of us nervous. All those eyes staring straight at us. That’s a lot of attention thrust our way. We feel the butterflies take flight, and they usually don’t land until we’re done with our speech. Aren’t we glad we’re done! Nerves and other feelings like feeling scared are natural and very necessary. Ever wonder how you’d react or what would happen to you if you didn’t react to a dog running at you? How about beginning to crossing the road only to hear the roar of a car’s engine in your left ear. Run! Definitely run!

For some of us, these feelings are all to familiar and often they occur more frequently and triggered by situations that are less fear-provoking than those, and others like it, mentioned above. I’ve felt that rush of adrenaline pumping through my heart as I turned into the street the underground station is on and the view of it made my heart beat a thousand to every second. I’d be gripped by the thought of seeing my desk, or my boss, which I knew was coming sooner than I wanted. They’d find out soon enough: I’m just average. Nothing special here. I’d spend the entire journey on the underground screaming inside myself. Looking at the other passengers, silently screaming ‘Have you all gone completely mad!?’. Completely and utterly unable to understand why anyone would not see it my way. This is my anxiety. What’s yours?

An irrational fear is a good way of describing it. Admittedly, I was in the middle of a breakdown that eventually pressed the Pause button on my life for a few years after. But this a good example of anxiety. Irrational fear that gets in the way of leading a normal life: that’s anxiety.

I learnt a lot about anxiety in the months that followed. It was all new to me. The education, certainly not the feelings and symptoms. Often, it left me speechless and bewildered. All those symptoms and I didn’t have a clue. But what are those symptoms? Well, thinking that everything will result in the worst possible outcome is the most upsetting symptom (for myself at least). You are mentally consumed with it. It breaks your concentration, erases your short-term memory and strips your patience down to almost nothing. It can stop you from falling asleep. Sleep anxiety was something I didn’t recognise. I simply thought I had developed insomnia on top of all my other problems. The more the merrier? Not quite. I had become severely depressed and obsessional. Two more symptoms associated with anxiety.

All these mental or cognitive symptoms affect our body function. I’d feel like I was losing my breath, no matter how hard I tried to relax or perform deep-breathing exercises. If I thought about it, which of course I did, my heart would start to race and the adrenaline would flow through me. You can completely lose your appetite, feel the need to constantly urinate, develop headaches more often and for me, the dizziness was unbearable. I thought I had low blood pressure. My doctor thought I may have a problem with my heart. Going for an ECG will scare the life out of you, if nothing else. Pins and needles are also symptoms of anxiety. I used to get them in my upper arms which would scream ‘Heart Attack!’ to me, but somehow I would push that thought away.’

We don’t all develop the same symptoms and it is quite rare that someone would present with all the symptoms as a textbook case. Some of the symptoms I didn’t develop were muscle aches and tremors, excessive thirst and stomach upsets. Women can develop painful periods or even none at all. We can all lose response to sexual stimulation too.

If you think you suffer from anxiety and feel it is getting in the way of you leading a normal life from day to day, please consult your doctor or other physician. Help is at hand, and good Cognitive Behaviour Therapy can be very effective in relieving the mental stresses that take over our minds when anxiety strikes.

My name is Steve Hill from England. In this article I am going to explain about how I have managed to turn my life around from one which was constantly living in fear, to one where I now look forward to the future. I hope this proves to be interesting and beneficial to anyone who reads it.

I was always the type of person who would be constantly worrying about many different aspects of life and who was seemingly always stressed. I could not find a way to break through from this vicious cycle and at many a time I wondered whether it was worth living at all. I have to admit that on many occasions I have gone to bed hoping that I would die in my sleep and therefore would not wake up.

I am virtually sure that I am not the only one who lives life in this way. What I decided to do was to try to work out what exactly was causing my anxiety and stress.

It was about being honest with myself. There have been many a night where I have been unable to get to sleep all night, basically I had too many worries circling through my mind. This meant that I could not relax and therefore could not sleep.

By thinking clearly, I realised that I had a fear of the future. I am someone who talks to myself quite a lot, a bit strange I know. I would often be asking myself a number of questions:

What will happen if I lose my job?

How will I cope if my girlfriend leaves me?

I have a wedding to attend next week, what if I make a fool of myself in front of my friends and family?

I am going on holiday in three months time, how will I cope if there are any problems with the plane etc?

How am I going to afford to buy my first house?

How will I cope when my parents die?

These are just a few of many questions that I used to ask myself.

I decided to discuss the way I was living my life and my fears to my parents. They gave me some superb advice. They stated that life is too short to be constantly living in fear and that worrying only makes things worse. I basically had to try my best every day and that is all anybody could expect from me. They told me to think in a more positive way and to concentrate on all of the good things that I had in my life. There will no doubt be challenges ahead but you need to deal with them when they arise.

I have taken on board there advice even though it has not been easy. My life is now so much better and when a fear comes into my head I just bat it away.

To most people ’stress’ brings to conjures up unpleasant feelings. However, many of those in the field of psychology are of the opinion that stress is something that can have positive effects.

Why the disconnect?

Essentially the answers lie in how each individual person evaluates their own mental and physical well being.

Perhaps some examples could help to make bring this point home.

For instance, assume two people, one a championship caliber athlete or performer, the other a college senior about to take a final test. The athlete or performer has been training most of their life for tasks that they perform; and let’s say in our case, the student has hardly cracked a book or studied at all for the impending test.

From a strictly a physiological point of view both individuals will be experiencing similar effects - raised heartbeat and breathing, higher metabolism, active sweat glands and so forth.

Psychologically, there are also similarities - increased concentration on the task at hand and focus on the next few minutes, clear images and heightened sensitivity to feelings.

However, there are key differences, at least psychologically speaking. The athlete is uses these feelings to their advantage to gain razor sharp focus, ready to tackle challenge, and confident in his ability to exhibit his prowess and dominate the contest.

The senior… not so fortunate… probably experiencing doubt and fear.

In either of the cases it’s reasonable to say that there is a definite element of stress involved. And one would also conclude that both individuals are feeling stressful.

It is the differences that are the key.

The athlete mentally processes his scenario as a challenge that he welcomes and is confident in his ability to tackle. One the other hand, the senior is well aware of the fact that he has poorly prepared and understands the ramifications his impending failure &ndash i.e. a lowered grade and possible having to retake the class.

In both cases the individuals are uncertain of the outcome, but each evaluates the odds of success differently… as would each also project the outcome of failure differently.

The athlete may wind up short of a victory or first place finish; which may be disappointing but still the overall picture is one of a successful season or performance.

The senior, on the other hand may see his chances for getting into a good graduate school slipping away. In fact, he may have to ultimately pass this class before he can even graduate.

Needless to say, the examples are very basic, but the premise is accurate.

How you process various events will leave you feeling stressed or simply one of life’s challenges that you know you can handle.

You can see by these two examples that there are actually two definitions of the word ’stress’ that sometimes get interchanged.

One refers to a heightened awareness and the physiological symptoms described above.

The other is adds the element of worry and those symptoms.

The latter is the one that can have negative health consequences that under certain circumstances can even be physically harmful.

We as humans are tethered to both our mind and our body and the two aspects affect one another, the psychological part is just as important.

Clinical depression is known to impact the lives of one out of every six people in their lifetime. But the sad reality is that the medical community still does not entirely understand exactly what causes depression to occur in one person and not in another.

Yes, we do know that depression is hereditary.

Depression can often be found to run throughout the generations of the same family invading the DNA molecules which make up a particular family’s genes. This causes the family members to be more susceptible to depression.

However, there is another school of thought that says perhaps the real reason we see depression run in families is that it is also environmental in that it all depends on how the children are raised. If they see the affects of depression encroaching on the lives of their family and they see the results then they will learn to deal with life the very same way.

Even though we are quite clear that depression runs in families, depression is also seen in those without any family history. Stress resulting from a variety of issues, trauma, or even prescription medications or illegal drugs have all been known to cause depression.

Riding the ups and downs of depression can leave you even more exhausted that the last wave of depression you faced. Depression is known to run in cycles. You may feel completely fine one day and the next day you may be completely and utterly unable to get yourself out of the bed and out of your night clothes. The dramatic ranges of emotions are well documented in cases of depression.

Many healthcare providers and scientist alike believe that many suffering with depression manifest a chemical imbalance of Norepinephrine and Serotonin which are the feel good neurotransmitters found in the central nervous system and in the brain.

These neurotransmitters work to help control feelings of happiness and well being. The neurotransmitter Norepinephrine is thought to be a stress hormone; while Serotonin is thought to control hunger, overall moods, sleep and sexual feelings.

When these chemicals get out of whack they are thought to cause depression.

So if you think about it, when these neurotransmitters are out of balance it only makes sense that the roller coaster ride of depression would result. As these levels of these chemical rises and falls thereto go the emotions and feelings associated with them.

The real question is why do some people experience peaks and valleys with their chemical make up while others seem to be more stable. Again, it begs the question is it really the environment in which you were raised or is it truly the ebb and flow of the neurotransmitters that alter feelings causing the dramatic impact of depression.

Do you mirror your family because that is all you know how to do, it is the only way you know to respond or is it that you are genetically and chemically bound to your family and because of that simply have no choice of being impacted by depression.

We need more research and time to study this issue before there is a definitive answer. What we do know is that regardless of the reason why, we do know that depression tends to run in families and if you have a family member that has dealt with the issue then you should be aware of the possibility that you too could be fighting the same battle one day.

Be aware, seek help early and learn what you can do in order to prevent depression before it takes control of your life.

I was a panic attack and agoraphobia sufferer for over twenty years. During that time, having shared my life with this terrible twosome, I worked out a few ways of making my life more tolerable if I had to venture out into the big wide world. And I’ll share a couple of them with you here.

One of the things that I noticed about my anxiety related illness is that it seemed to turn the brightness on my vision up to the top. So much so, that viewing something like a large area of concrete on a sunny day was physically painful to me. But even on a dull day the sky seemed to be way too bright.

One way I used to combat this was simply by wearing sunglasses. I used brown ones and found them to suit me the best. I once tried gray and they were of no benefit whatsoever. An easy and inexpensive way that I discovered to pick a suitable color, that didn’t involve me leaving the house, was to order some transparent film from an arts and crafts store and I just held the different colored films up to a window and looked through them until I found one that had a calming effect. In my case this was brown or green, However, I also found that blue made me feel sad and red made me feel agitated. So I knew to avoid these colors at all cost.

Something else that worked for me was wearing a baseball cap. I found that the peak protected my eyes from the brightness of the sky and in situations where I felt particularly uncomfortable, I would pull the peak down so that only the ground directly to my front was visible. A combination of the sunglasses and the baseball cap made my journeys into the outside world tolerable. I did, though, get some strange looks on rainy days.

There was one other thing that I discovered, quite by accident. I was once on a camping trip and, whilst sitting in the tent, looking out through the window, I noticed how uncomfortable I felt. However, if I looked out through the tent’s mesh kitchen window/vent, the discomfort went away. This inspired me. Once I got home I went onto the Internet to see if anyone made mesh spectacles. It appeared that no one did and I even toyed with the idea of making some for myself. After some thought, I gave up on that idea due to a lack of the necessary wherewithal.

I never forgot the benefits that I’d seen by looking through the mesh and a couple of years later I did the same search again to see if some bright spark had had the same idea as me and started selling them yet. Still my search came to nothing. However, whilst carrying out that search I did happen upon the website that gave me the information I needed to eliminate my panic, anxiety and agoraphobia altogether. Can you imagine how I felt? After all those years of trying therapies that didn’t work for me, I’d actually found the cure.

If you would like to know more about what I used to retake control of my life, please visit my website. There’s a link in my “About the Author” section below.

Too many victims of panic attacks keep their condition private for fear of embarrassment. They struggle with the internal conflict of phobias and fears in solitude. Unfortunately, this self-help philosophy rarely produces any measurable results because the patient does not have enough resources to succeed. A support network is vital to the success of panic attack treatment since it helps to keep the patient focused on the challenges. This support network can come in many different forms, but it is typically comprised of three groups.

Family

One of the most obvious places to turn for support is within the family structure. Parents and siblings are often the first people to notice the changing behavior patterns associated with anxiety disorders. Because of this, their feedback can be a valuable tool when panic attacks reoccur. Overcoming panic attacks can be a long journey with numerous setbacks and challenges, and the steadying influence of family support is vital to helping the patient succeed

Friends

Friends may not have a hereditary relationship with patient, but their strong bond and trust level often make them the first place patients turn for support. While it can be difficult to offer advice for a condition that many are unfamiliar with, friends should realize that just being there can be enough to help sufferers through the rough days. There are also group therapy situations that friends can attend, and these are not only therapeutic for the patient, but they can also help supporters learn more about panic attacks.

Doctors

Having panic disorder diagnosed by a doctor is an important stage of recovery. Not only does it help the patient come to terms with the issue, but it also allows the opportunity to explore treatment options. Doctors carry the responsibility of recommending targeted treatments for panic attacks, while also monitoring the techniques and adjusting when necessary. These more scientific tasks hold some of the keys to overcoming panic attacks, but the best results come when the support network works as whole.

It is possible to stop panic attacks from overwhelming the lives of its victims, but successful treatment usually requires a network of supporters. The obstacles of panic disorder can be numerous, which in turn increases the likelihood of failure or relapse. This is where a solid support network will provide the encouragement and reassurance necessary to succeed. But the first step in recovery is for the patient to learn how to control panic attacks, and that process begins at controlpanicattack.com

The physical symptoms of anxiety and stress can be quite detrimental to one’s health. Unfortunately, many people may be so stressed that they do not realize the extent of it or the impact the stress and anxiety is having on their health. In some cases, the more stress or anxiety an individual experiences the less able they are to recognize it. Quite frequently in these situations the individual may have even become so accustomed to their level of stress, and the physical symptoms it produces, that they feel it is normal. Due to the fact that some people may not be aware of their emotional response to stress and anxiety they may need to rely on physical manifestations to identify it. This makes taking the time to learn about the physical symptoms of stress and anxiety an important step. Tuning into the symptoms of stress and anxiety can help you to identify potential triggers in your life and in turn help you to better manage them and alleviate the stress and anxiety in your life.

It is important to be aware that the physical symptoms of anxiety and stress can vary from one person to the next. Some symptoms may be more serious than others and can even be life threatening. It should be noted that one symptom on its own may not necessarily indicate the presence of stress or anxiety; however, where there are multiple symptoms this is a strong indication there is stress or anxiety present. Some symptoms you experience may be short-term while others may be long-term symptoms. Short-term symptoms include the following:

• Cold hands and feet

• Dry mouth

• Rapid breathing

• Increased heart beat

• Increased sweating

• Nausea

• Diarrhea

Generally these short term side effects appear when the body is responding to a perceived threat. This is the body’s way of helping you prepare to either stay and fight the threatening situation or flee from it; a response commonly known as fight or flight. While this rush of adrenaline and emotions can be helpful in a truly threatening situation, it can have negative impacts during times when there is no immediate danger.

Over time these physical symptoms can damage your self-confidence, disrupt the quality of your life and reduce the pleasure you get from your work. In addition, when the body is exposed to these physical symptoms over a long period of time your health can actually start to decline. Long term side effects of stress and anxiety include:

• Sexual disorders

• Changes in appetite

• Insomnia

• Frequent illness

• Back pain

• Asthma

• Headaches

• Digestive problems

• Lethargy

• Restlessness

• Depression

• Irritability

Remember, that one symptom by itself may not necessarily indicate the presence of either short term or long term stress and anxiety. There are other reasons that can result in a single symptom, such as certain medications. The presence of multiple symptoms; however, can indicate a problem. If you notice multiple physical symptoms of anxiety and stress, take heart in knowing that stress and anxiety management techniques can help you to reduce those symptoms and get back to your old self.