My Essay Blog

In the Bible, we are admonished to “Love your neighbor as yourself.” I contend we generally love our neighbor far more than we do ourselves because I know very well we would not inflict on our neighbor the handicapping conduct we frequently impose on ourselves.

For instance, let us assume you have a neighbor who is in trouble. Things are not going well at home. He is having financial difficulties, is worried about his job, and in desperation he comes to you for some advice. Let’s say that after careful consideration of his case you go to your neighbor with a program somewhat as follows:

* Get up in the morning and start thinking about yourself right away.

* Let the same old troubled thoughts race through your mind unchallenged.

* Blow your top if things don’t go just right at home.

* Let highway and other traveling conditions get your goat.

* Enter your office with a grouch instead of a smile.

* Spend more than you earn.

* Be quick to criticize and slow to praise. Get easily upset and annoyed.

* Put off until tomorrow things that should be done today.

* Let yourself get out of condition mentally and physically.

* Stew and fret over business and financial matters.

* Finally, take a fed-up attitude toward life and fill yourself with discontent, moodiness, fear, worry and strain.

While such a program may seem a bit farfetched, I have known many people not too far removed from it. However, the point I wish to make is that we would not think of recommending such a course to a neighbor in trouble.

Then why saddle ourselves with anything of the kind?

Here is a much better plan, not only for a troubled neighbor but for one’s self as well. This is a “Be Kind to Yourself” proposition, which anyone can use to great advantage.

Simply get up each morning and firmly declare:

I will:

* Be my own best friend instead of my own worst enemy today.

* Refuse to let troubled thoughts race through my mind today.

* Let my family know that I love them today.

* Go forth to give and not to get today.

* Be careful and courteous on the highways today.

* Remain poised if things go wrong today.

* Make my firm glad they have me on the payroll today.

* Be quick to praise and slow to condemn today.

* Forget the past and have confidence in the future today.

* Waste no time or money today.

* Indulge in no harmful habits today.

* Be not anxious or afraid today.

* Finally, live today as though it were my last day on earth and try to conduct myself accordingly.

With love in our hearts, we would recommend this type of program to a distressed neighbor. With intelligent self-interest (not selfishness) in our minds, we should sell this kind of daily program to ourselves. If we want to get a good result out of life, we must forsake doing those things which produce bad results. It is as simple as that. Though it takes practice, it can be done. I know from personal experience that it can.

Real Magic: Beyond Harry Potter

Harry Potter has been all over the news these days, due to the launch of the 7th Harry Potter book and the 5th Harry Potter movie. It’s certainly no accident that the 5th movie “Order of the Phoenix” came out a week before the 7th book “Deathly Hallows”.

It seems to have been such a great success, and has worked all the Harry Potter fans into a frenzy!

There is even a lot of controversy from fundamentalist Christian groups around the fact that these books & movies promote witchcraft and sorcery.

Unfortunately, in my opinion, the Harry Potter series doesn’t nearly do justice to promoting witchcraft and sorcery. It is after-all fiction, and the aspects of using magic are highly over-dramatized compared to the results of REAL witchcraft and sorcery.

However, the concerns are founded, as many of these Harry Potter fans will and probably are seeking out the real forms of magic use. I think this is a great thing, as much of the fear of witchcraft is based on ignorance, and not the truth of what it really is.

Modern day REAL witches and Sorcerers are people who generally embrace multiculturalism and seek to learn answers to their spiritual questions where-ever answers can be found. These days there are also plenty of New Age spiritualists to learn from that are skilled in witchcraft, yoga, meditation, and psychology.

There is also a growing trend outside of the Harry Potter movement that is cluing into what is called the “Law of Attraction”. This “Law of Attraction” when understood and implemented correctly, is definitely a form of magic in my books.

What probably comes absolutely closest in the real world to Harry Potter style magic, is psychic ability. There are psychics all over the world, and it is known to be a skill that can be learned by anyone who studies it diligently. Yes, you are psychic too, although you may not have tapped into your psychic abilities yet.

Many of the psychics today can be found practicing various forms of meditation, yoga, shamanism, and other types of pagan religions.

I must admit that I am glad to see a resurgence of paganism and wisdom of other religions. I think the future holds a fusion hybrid understanding of how the world works, and a greater ability for humans to tap into their psychic ability due to the understandings that each world culture has contributed.

I’m hoping that all those Harry Potter fans will seek to attain magical abilities themselves, and in doing so help to positively change the world with their newfound powers. So I choose to celebrate the Harry Potter movies, the 7 Harry Potter books, and I encourage Harry Potter fans to continue their quest for knowledge, wisdom, and Magic beyond fiction.

One’s attitude has a lot more to do with the level of her/his success than one’s aptitude, ability, IQ, education or other factors do. I’d like to get into the details of a salesperson’s psychology so that, when it comes to building your team and individual team members, you are equipped with the knowledge of what’s really going on in there. As a holder of a management or other sort of leadership position, you may have already experienced being a salesperson yourself. However, it never hurts to review and be reminded of what it’s like to “carry the bag.” I also want to emphasize the mental game because so many companies focus on external things, like product knowledge, licensing, etc. And while these things are all important, companies that focus on such externalities often neglect the cultivation of their salespeople’s proper mindset. I’ve always found this selling mentality ironic, because it’s what’s going on in the inside that will most dramatically affect sales.

A direct relationship exists between self-image and sales performance. If you don’t already, try to get a handle on how your reps perceive themselves. What kind of self-talk plays in their brains all day long? You and your team will never experience exponential success if it is not something they can mentally conceive of first. And the major precursor to vivid envisioning of success in the workplace is vivid envisioning of success in oneself and one’s abilities. How can you, as a sales manager, cultivate healthy, solid self-confidence and self-belief? One of the easiest ways to do so is to offer sincere praise. Ra1ph Waldo Emerson said, “Every man is entitled to be valued by his best moments.” There is no need to fear that you will create an egomaniac by giving someone simple but honest praise and appreciation for good, hard work.

Often, it is more effective to praise the specific act rather than the person. This way, your praise is attached to something distinct and concrete. Praise is harder to be interpreted as flattery or favoritism when there is a specific and concrete thing being praised. General compliments may produce a temporary effect, but they can incite jealousy in others and create even more insecurity in the recipient if the specific activity that merited the compliment remains unknown.

Then there is a new pressure to live up to this higher standard, even though the praised individual is not sure how s/he set it. Even more insecurity is bred if the praised individual fears you will retract your praise. That’s because in not knowing concretely how s/he earned it, s/he doesn’t know how to keep it. One single person feeling this kind of anxiety or insecurity can really cause your entire teambuilding effort to backfire. Have you ever witnessed (or experienced) coworkers who huddled together to complain after a “pep rally” with the boss? Instead of feeling inspired and motivated, all they could do was gripe. Unfortunately, it only takes one person’s bad attitude to drag down the rest.

We know that when a specific behavior is praised, that behavior will increase. At a small college in Virginia, 24 students in a psychology course decided to see whether they could use compliments to change the way women on campus dressed. For a while, they complimented all the female students who were wearing blue. The percentage of the female student population wearing blue then rose from 25 percent to 38 percent. The researchers then switched to complimenting any woman who wore red. This shift in the color being praised caused the appearance of red on campus to double from 11 percent to 22 percent. Praise is a simple but often overlooked concept. If you want to use this technique to your best advantage, be sure you give honest and sincere praise.

Closely related to praise is acceptance. We all long for acceptance. We want to feel like our actions and contributions help an effort or cause. We all want to be noticed by others. We also all want to be someone of significance who is held in high regard. Knowledge of this common craving from acceptance can help you motivate your team. If you can make them feel that their help is appreciated, that they are personally accepted and that their contributions are essential, they will be more inspired to perform.

When your team members feel accepted unconditionally, with no strings attached, their doubts, fears and inadequacies will go out the window. One way to make your team feel accepted is to offer them genuine thanks. Seek to make a conscientious and deliberate effort to thank people in all aspects of your professional life. Don’t assume your team members know you care about and appreciate them. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that a paycheck is thanks enough. One of the main reasons why people are dissatisfied with their sales job is because they are never thanked or given any recognition for their efforts.

Often, individuals increase their feelings of acceptance by building their association with certain people, places or things. This sense of identification has been referred to as the Social Identity Theory. For example, a sports fan may enhance his sense of belonging by plastering his walls with his favorite team’s sports paraphernalia. Even though no one on that team has any clue who he is, he feels better about himself anyway, just because of the association and identity he has created for himself with that team.

Are there ways in which you can use the Social Identity Theory to your advantage? Think of ways to create strong team association. These methods should be things that are unique to the team and that help team members individually feel like they are “insiders.” Maybe your team needs a mascot, a mission statement or even a theme song. I once knew a sales team that played the theme music from Rocky over the loud speaker every time someone closed a sale. Things like this might seem silly, but they really build team spirit and morale. If you worry that things like this will be distracting or disruptive to your particular workplace, look for ways to adapt. The energy that grows from each team member feeling accepted is worth the effort.

Oozing with confidence is not something that comes naturally to everyone; however it is something that everyone can acquire. I have listed some tips below for all those of you that want to get a little more confidence when it is needed. Follow one, two or all of them and watch your confidence start to grow.

1. Think fitness and health… Healthy body, healthy mind! Keeping yourself fit and healthy will keep you feeling happy and confident. Eating the right things at the right times will certainly help you to feel the way that you want to feel. It is great for your waistline too, which is ultimately good for your confidence also.

2. Mind your inner talk… What you think about yourself is so important with regards to the way that you feel and just how confident you are. Don’t rubbish yourself in any way when you are thinking or talking about yourself. Say things like ‘I would love to learn how to do that’ instead of saying ‘I can’t do it’.

3. Create a new you… A change in appearance can always help to boost your confidence and make you feel great. The way that you dress, act and look is part of your communication to the world around you. If you look and feel fantastic then that’s how others will see you too!

4. Change career… You may find that your current job is causing you a lack of confidence. If this is so then grab hold of the fact that you set the limit on what is impossible. This means that if you want to find a new job then you can choose to be whatever you want to be. Sure it might take a bit of work, but if you really want it then, isn’t it worth the effort?

5. What is so good about you..? Make yourself a list of all of your good points. Are you a good listener, advice giver, hard worker or good friend? List down all of your achievements &ndash things that may have happened in your education, your career or your social and family life.

6. Make new friends… Surround yourself with positive friends that encourage the best in you. Happiness and positive attitudes are contagious, so by surrounding yourself with confidently happy people you will feel more confident too.

I really hope that this article has been of some help to you and has given you some ideas to go away and actually use to build your confidence.

Do you find yourself groaning every time you file your tax returns? Do you cluck with anxiety and regret each time you calculate how much of your paycheck actually goes to the tax guys? If your answer is yes to both questions, buy a house! Home loan lending makes owning a house easy. Additionally, it provides you with huge tax advantages.

Home Loan Lending Lets You Save on Interest

When you file your income statement, the interest you pay to purchase your principal residence is deductible. In fact, you can even purchase additional land through home loan lending and claim the residence interest as a deduction. The only condition is that this land be adjacent to your home. Furthermore, you can declare as a tax deduction the interest on as much as $100,000 of your home-equity debt. The good thing about this is that even though you use the borrowed money to go on vacation or a shopping spree, the Internal Revenue Service, or IRS, won’t care. as long as your house has the equity and this equity secures your debt.

Home Loan Lending Helps You Save on Taxes

Taxes give everyone headaches, especially when it’s time to pay or compute them. Home loan lending can make the headache throb just a little less painfully, however. When you purchase a house, you can declare all the real property taxes you pay as a tax deduction. You can do the same even if you are only a tenant shareholder in a cooperative apartment building. You can declare your share of the property taxes paid as a tax deduction.

What makes this discount on taxes particularly interesting is that there is no limit to the number of properties that quality for this deduction. If you purchased 15 homes through home loan lending, the property taxes you pay on all 15 houses can be declared as a deduction.

Home Loan Lending Gives You Gain Exclusion

Suppose you went for home loan lending 30 years ago, and now you own your house. You want to sell it, however. Is there any way you can continue enjoying tax advantage? The answer is yes.

If you lived in your property for at least two of the past five years before deciding to sell it, you can exclude from your income declaration $250,000 of the profit from the sale. Even better, if you sold your house for less than $250,000, you need not report the profit to the IRS. You have no tax liability on the sale.

Uncle Sam Is All for Home Loan Lending

Why is the government so generous to homeowners? The truth is, Uncle Sam wants to put you in a house. Unfortunately, the costs of purchasing houses and lots are so prohibitive few could afford to go through a cash-only transaction. Most opt for home loan lending. Uncle Sam makes it easier for you to own a home by subsiding parts of the cost you incur in home loan lending.

Clearly, a home does not just shelter you from the elements. It shelters you from tax, too. Home loan lending just might be the best thing that could ever happen to anyone since the discovery of indoor plumbing. After all, with home loan lending, you not only get to buy a house, you can use it to pay lesser tax!

The day my partner and I redefined our dream for our future I became aware of a very significant fact.

The fact was stark: I was no longer going to be a fifty-fifty stakeholder in the financial arrangements, but a breadwinner with significant support.

I’ll be honest, the impact of what stood before me, caused me to take a very big swallow. In fact, I had to sit down and have a woe is me moment. I felt alone, even though I knew I wasn’t.

As I felt myself growing increasingly anxious, I decided to let go. I meditated then wrote a new affirmation - that the right events would now unfold to allow our dream to unfold.

With my intention cast, that our dream would unfold, I set my attention on what would now unfold and I began to use these mysterious events that followed as signposts that would transform my current situation into my intention.

Signposts and Creating Teamwork

Signposts can be subtle and it’s often beneficial that they are. For example, it’s better to have a car driving slowly in front of you and realise that you drive too fast than to have an accident while speeding.

Signposts give us a choice in direction. Do we want to continue to feel isolated, lost, lonely, rejected, anxious or can you change direction and begin to understand the opportunity these signposts show us.

Here are a couple of examples from my life:

1. A couple of weeks ago, my children were bickering in the backseat of the car. I could feel anxiety bubbling up. I began to feel isolated and wanted to snap. I might have felt relief if I did. However, if I did that I would have conflicted my values of love and peace.

I asked them to stop. When they didn’t stop I decided to play there game of un-cooperation. I started not to listen and refused one of them a drink of water. Immediately they teamed up on me. *Note I now became the point of their conflict when I entered their game. They were no longer bickering with each other, but with me.

This bickering with me played into my hands - first because I broke their pattern of bickering with each other and second, because I know when I am mindfully engaged in a situation, I know I can transform it.

I told them they could have a drink, but only after fifteen minutes of getting along with each other and with me. Problem solved, teamwork created and my anxiety and feeling of isolation transformed.

2. In business I was feeling isolated. Following my intention to allow events to unfold and keep my attention on what occurred I found fantastic people literally coming out of the woodwork who could support me, collaborate with me and bring in expertise. You can imagine the impact this has when your dreams involve you becoming the breadwinner.

Tips on this subject

1. Identify an area of your life where you feel in need of support.

2. Decide on your intended outcome (intention).

3. Affirm that you will allow things to unfold and be aware of the signposts.

4. Choose to explore all the directions the signposts point you in

5. Decide which direction takes you closer to your desired intention.

With love and good wishes

Neil

I have spent many years trying to develop my inner self. It has not been easy. Overcoming my fears, inhibitions and inertia was difficult, but the effort has been worth it and I believe I live my life to its full potential. But how can I teach my child to live life to the full?

The search for self improvement is full of self doubt. I have spent years exploring many avenues and techniques; not all lead to anywhere meaningful. However, some things I learnt have helped me enormously. But I’m not confident that I have found the right answers. Other people I know have found great benefit from techniques and practices that were of no help to me. Likewise, what I find beneficial, others may not.

Meeting and falling in love with my wife was the best thing that has ever happened to me. The birth of our son brought us great joy. But as we settled into parenting, I became more and more worried about my ability to teach my son about the right approach to live life. I didn’t want him to spend years, in later life, searching, as I had done, for answers as to how best to live life. I didn’t want his life constrained like so many people’s lives are today.

I had so many questions about the correct ‘life coaching plan’ I should use. How old should he be before I began teaching him techniques that I had learnt? What approach should I take? And were the techniques and practices I had learnt suitable for him? Did I have the ability to teach others?

It was my wife who provided the answer. Actually, we had a row. I was fretting, as usual, about our son, when my wife screamed at me to ‘give it a rest!’ When I retorted that I only wanted to help our child, she replied that it was me who wanted help and that our son needed no help at all. In fact, she said, if I continued like this, one thing was certain: our son would certainly spend many years as an adult, trying to sort out his life.

She was right of course. From that point on, I began to really observe my child and I began to realize that he had ‘no issues’ to sort out, no inhibitions, inertia, or self doubt. He’s a dynamo, who is constantly exploring the world around him. He’s always himself; he’s in touch with his real, inner-self.

I have nothing to teach him. Sure, I can teach him to cross the road, walk down stairs holding the hand-rail and how to ride a bike. But I have nothing to teach him on how to live life. He’s doing it all by himself. He’s my teacher, and a good one at that.