My Essay Blog

We all like to smell good. Bad body odor can be a huge turn off at all times. If you are out on a hot date on a sweltering day without spraying yourself with a suitable deodorant you can assure yourself that your date is never going to call you back. A good perfume can score you a lot of points in a romantic setting. If you are going for a job interview you really should take care of a possible body odor problem. You do not want to antagonize your interviewers by hitting them with some bad body odor the moment you come in, do you?

Ultimately, it all boils down to personal hygiene. A good bath can free you from the woes of bad odor, but only for a while. That is why they came up with deodorants and perfumes in the first place — to keep you smelling good. Body odor can be an issue even among friends. Often, friends are unwilling to bring up the embarrassing subject of the bad odor that comes from you. Unless you have a bunch of really close and honest friends, this is a problem that you are going to have to discover and resolve all by yourself.

There really is no excuse to not buy perfumes. After all, they are available in a whole range of prices. Depending on your personal preferences, you can buy cheap perfumes, or you can buy outrageously expensive ones. The point is to find a scent that agrees with you. Given the wide variety of perfumes available in stores, there has to be a fragrance that fits you to the tee.

Remember, the fragrance that you use daily says a lot about your personality. Do you go for musky fragrances or do you prefer natural and earthy ones? Are you the kind who loves the smells of fruits and flowers or would you prefer a smell that is sporty?

If you have not found the fragrance that suits you best, maybe you should experiment a little. Try out a bunch of different fragrances and then decide which makes you feel the best about yourself. The ideal perfume is one that fills you with a sense of confidence. Now, if the perfume advertisements are to be believed, the best fragrances also make you irresistible to the opposite sex. Do you really need more reasons to urge you to go out and find your own signature scent?

Emotional Intelligence or commonly known as EQ is a relatively new field of psychology. Emotional intelligence means the ability for a person to access, influence and conclude our emotions and also the emotions of other people around us.

The term emotional intelligence was first made popular by Daniel Goldman with his book Emotional Intelligence and since then many researchers have began studies in this new field of psychology. Since then, we have understood a lot more about emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence can be broken into 4 separate entities namely

1. Empathy : the ability for a person to be able to perceive the emotions of others around him/her and acknowledge those feelings.

2. Relationships : the ability for a person to be able to handle negotiations and mediations.

3. Self Awareness : the ability for a person to understand his/her own feelings, know what they means and acknowledging these feelings.

4. Handle Emotions : the ability for a person to manage and handle their own personal feelings responsibly and accurately depending on the situation.

Since everyone of us handle each emotion differently under different situations, it is also the reason why researchers are finding it difficult to measure emotional intelligence accurately.

Over the years, there are certain rules in emotional intelligence that seems to apply to the majority of us though. And we can train ourselves to be better equip to handle these emotions when it comes. Training your emotions takes time and being self aware of them.

Unlike IQ where it is innate and some people are just born to be a genius. Emotional intelligence is a skill that can be developed. In fact, emotions were not even implanted on us when we were still a baby or in the mother’s womb. It is through the interactions with our environment and the people that we developed these emotions.

Time management is a big concern for a lot of people. I keep hearing, “There are just not enough hours in the day…” or “Where does my time go?” Face it we all live busy lives. Work, family, and other commitments keep us all hopping. To utilize better time management, it’s important to recognize what the specific problems are. Is it not having enough time for you or your family? Do you feel that you are wasting time by excessive driving? Maybe you are not sure where all your time is going and just want to account for it. Or you could have a full schedule that you are having a hard time keeping up with. Whatever the reason, time is a precious resource that most of us need to use to its fullest.

The most important step in time management is evaluating our schedules. On a sheet of paper write up a “typical” week for you, by looking at your current schedule you will be able to identify places where better time management could be use. Ask yourself why you are feeling unsatisfied with your schedule? Make a list of what you want to change and what you want to make room for. Do you want more time to peruse interests? More time to be with your children? Or just more time to get everything done?

After you have done this take a piece of paper and draw three columns. In the first column put a list of all appointments, events, or commitments that are “set in stone”, things that take place at a set time and happen daily, weekly or monthly. Such as work, club meetings, or standing doctor’s appointments. In the second column put “flexible” tasks or commitments that can be done around your “set in stone” commitments, such as grocery shopping, house cleaning, or having lunch with a friend. In the third column put those “occasional” appointments, doctor appointments, a school play, or an old friend coming into town (or anything that does not fall into the other two columns).

Then using a calendar (preferably one with large spaces for the days) Or use a notebook and label each page a day or two (depending on how much you are trying to accomplish daily or weekly.) Start putting in the items from your three columns, starting with the items that are “set in stone” then the items that are occasional, leave the “flexible” items to last since you are able to put them in around the other things.

The objective is to balance out your days and to maximize your time. Why make a separate trip to the pharmacy when it is on your way to your son’s soccer practice? I always try to plan appointments in the same area on the same day, this reduces my travel time and gets the most out of my day.

The biggest thing to consider is: Are you doing too much? No matter how well time is managed there is such a thing as an overload of commitments. Time management is not just about structuring your week so that you can get everything accomplished. It is about creating a manageable schedule that will give you time for the important things in life. So, before looking at your time management skills look at what you are trying to juggle.

Include things that you want to do but just don’t seem to have time for in your day. What is the sense of managing your time better just to fit in more work? A part of time management is balancing so that you can have time to enjoy the fun stuff in life too.

If you are so booked solid that you can not schedule an hour and a half of quality family time, an hour of time with your significant other, and at least at the very minimum 30 minutes &ndash 45 minutes of time for yourself then you have too much on your plate and it is time to ask for help to relieve yourself of some commitments. Being run down and worn-out will not assist you in better time management, in fact it will hinder it.

With so much to do and only so many hours in a day, here are three powerful changes you can make RIGHT NOW to free up time, eliminate distractions and get more done (particularly the things that are important to you) each day.

Close Your Email Program

Yes, I said it. Close your email program. I know this may border on heresy for some of you, but think about it. Technology is supposed to make our lives easier, but email is one area where many of us have become slaves to, “You’ve got mail!” That phrase, or it’s “ding” counterpart can rip us away from just about anything we’re doing when we’re within earshot of the computer. Unless you’re waiting on a specific email to arrive, close your email program and open it only one or two times a day. The USPS only delivers mail to your home once a day, right? So why must you be able to receive email every waking minute of the day? Since when is “just because you can” reason to do something, particularly when it can be such an interruption and fritter away your time without you really noticing?

Let Those Calls Go to Voice Mail

Why is the urge to answer a ringing phone so overwhelming? Maybe for the same reason we say “dial” when few, if any, of us have a telephone with a dial: habit. Combined with Caller ID, voice mail is a powerful, yet grossly underused, tool for reducing interruptions and taking charge of your time.

Yes, I hear those of you who say, “What if it is an emergency?” First let me say I am not suggesting that you let ALL calls go to voice mail, just calls that come in while you are engaged in getting something important done! Having said that, I realize emergencies rarely happen at a convenient time, so create a plan for reaching you with said emergencies. For example, I have “trained” my children to call my cell phone instead of the house phone if there is an emergency. They know they are ONLY allowed to call my cell phone in two situations: when they KNOW I am not home or in an emergency. In effect, my cell phone serves as the “hot line” that is always answered. This, coupled with the fact that I do not make public my cell phone number, allows me to let my calls on the other phones go to voice mail without worry.

Categorize and Prioritize Your To-Do List

For most of us, simply creating a to-do list is not enough. Ticking off items on an arbitrary to-do list might help you get more done each day by helping you stay “on task”, but the real question is are you getting the “right” things done each day to create the life you want to live?

Take the time to create a to-do list, yes, but then take it one step further: categorize and prioritize that list! Identify those items that are goal-related - those are important! From this list of goal-related items, create your “Must-Do” list for the day. Do these things; THEN do the rest of the things on your to-do list. This way, at the end of each day, you’ll be that much closer to achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself because they have been the focus and direction of your day.

Let me also suggest that you close the email program and let those calls go to voice mail while you create these lists each day. Without interruptions, you’ll need less time to get more done. Planned and enforced distraction-free periods of your day to plan and work will accelerate the speed at which you achieve more, leaving more time for play.

There are many reasons why some people never move. This is a topic for later discussion, but for now lets focus on those individuals who do hop from country to country and make new homes in different countries and often on other continents. Are you one of those people whose address seems to be forever changing?

Luckily, for us expatriates we live in an era of technology when we do not have to rely on the regular mail any longer. Contact is at the tips of our fingers. E-mailing has become a favorite way of keeping in touch with friends and family for all peoples around the world, and specifically for expats. This tool has made the expat lifestyle so much more convenient, acceptable and viable. Family, friends and clients are just an email away.

However, emails are no longer enough. Hearing a voice is comforting and needed. It also puts the issue of distance into perspective. Yes, we may be on the other side of the world, but we are truly only a heartbeat or a phone call away. There is nothing better than surprising friends and family with a phone call just to chat or to wish them on special days. Also, in matter emergencies we need to be able to pick up the phone and make that connection without having to pay the earth for it.

Dear expats, we no longer need to worry about the expense of these calls. Can you imagine being able to call someone on the other side of the world and not have to pay for the call, not even a single cent? Believe it or not it is possible. Maybe some of you have heard about Skype and have been too wary to try it. Then again many of you may not have heard of these telephonic services that are readily available to us over the computer. Well, let me inform you that it works, it is cheap and it has changed the level of my communication with people around the world. I use Skype on a daily basis, sometimes three or four times a day. Because of Skype I am in regular phone contact with friends and family, I study internationally and I operate my business on a truly international level.

All you need is a computer. In fact you do not even need to have your own personal computer. Once you have an account set up, you can log into any and make your call. You will, however, need a need a fairly good headset and these do not cost an arm and a leg.

Go to Skype .skype.com and download the program. It takes an easy 10 minutes. Set up your account and you are ready to make your calls. If the other person also has a Skype account, both parties involved do not pay a penny for the call. However, if you are calling to a regular landline or cell phone number you are charged for the call, but at an extremely low and very acceptable rate.

If you want to improve the quality of your communication as an expat, Skype or another such telephonic service, may just be your answer. Why not give it a try?

Quote of the week

” Communication is a skill that you can learn. It ‘ s like riding a bicycle or typing. If you ‘ re willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life. ” Brian Tracy

Freebie of the week

Are you experiencing communication difficulties in any one of the following areas? Your expat surroundings. Your job. Your family. If you would like to improve the quality of your communication in one of these areas, please take advantage of this week’s free offer and sign up for a free coaching session. As a coach, I offer you my time and energy as a gift. I will help and support you in finding and putting into practice the tools that will enable you to improve this area of your life. Are you ready to explore?

CHANGE is often daunting for people as it is associated with ones routine being changed and ensuing instability.

Remember, that when people describe being in a rut, they are frequently referring to situations which have stayed the same for a long time. They have lost INTEREST and MOTIVATION.

If you are HAPPY with how your life is, then you would not be considering CHANGE at the moment. - (Unless it is imposed upon you.) For the purposes of this article, let’s assume that this is not the case.

• Ask yourself whether your thinking has had anything to do with how your personal situation is and particularly with regard to any sense of dissatisfaction.

• Are you someone who tends to look on the downside of things?

• Does this push people away from you?

• Does it mean that you avoid taking risks instead of seeing opportunities in your path?

• What have the implications of this meant for you?

Have a think about the questions posed and try putting down some answers on paper. This is useful as you will be more likely to take on board statements you have written, see the enormity of this for you, and implications regarding your future HAPPINESS.

If you are unclear about how you think, MONITOR your THOUGHTS over a week by concentrating on what your thoughts are in particular situations and writing them down.

(Some people experience THOUGHTS in the form of IMAGES. They not only think about a bad thing happening but “see” it as a series of images.)

What are your thoughts about how your life might be like if you made CHANGES and thought in a more POSITIVE way?

The first step to make CHANGES to your way of thinking is to become more CONFIDENT.

The use of POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS is a powerful tool to enhance CONFIDENCE. (Please see article re POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS.)

ANCHORING. This is a way by which we are able to pre-programme our subconscious so that we associate a particular desired feeling with a behavioural response which we can trigger for ourselves whenever we require to. This can take the form of words or a gesture or both.

Examples Reciting a mantra

I AM RELAXED

I CAN DO IT

SNAPPING YOUR FINGERS

CLAPPING

SHUTTING AND OPENING YOUR EYES

Try seeing yourself in a situation when you have felt CONFIDENT. Whilst you are with that feeling, use the technique you have decided upon to ANCHOR this feeling. You should repeat this exercise regularly over a week and you will eventually be able to elicit the desired response easily. (If this is difficult for you, read my article on RELAXATION) then go through the process again while you are in a relaxed state.

Practise making CHANGES.

Do something different that you have wanted to do for a long time but have perhaps been put off by others or been too afraid to take the risk .Don’t think about it too much or you will generate negative thoughts and talk yourself out of doing it.!

DO IT!

Reflect on the exercise.

• Write down what happened.

• Did you ENJOY it?

• Did it give you a sense of ACHIEVEMENT/

• If something undesirable happened, don’t allow this to put you off of doing things again. EXPLORE the series of events and look for the LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES it has created for you.

(Please see article on TEFCAS. This is an acronym describing the process by which we make CHANGES and learn.)

CHANGES come in many forms.

If we decide upon a CHANGE for ourselves, or it is an anticipated CHANGE, it will cause less difficulty for us as we have the OPPORTUNITY to prepare for it. We feel as though it is under our control to at least some extent. The types of situations which fall into this category may be, a change of job, moving house, a new baby.

At other times, CHANGE may be enforced upon us. Here we feel as though we are not in CONTROL and that something is being done to us. This is often associated with a sense of LOSS. Examples here may be a family death, down sizing a house, an unwanted divorce.

We may hold onto feelings of negative emotion, resentment, bitterness, which only serves to make us feel even more out of control.

In all loss situations, there will be a grieving reaction as in bereavement.

(Anger, denial, bargaining, depression and acceptance) to a greater or lesser extent. We do however still have to cope with any CHANGE in the best way possible. The sure thing is that it will happen .If we take more CONTROL of the CHANGE it is more likely to happen in a way of our choosing.

It can be useful to find mechanisms to help us COPE with the CHANGE.

• Think about a previous situation you may have ruminated over and take any learning cues from this.

• Write down all of the POSITIVE things which may come out of a proposed CHANGE. (Be prepared to THINK about this. The possibilities may not be obvious. This may be especially so if you are resistant and adamant that things should not be different.)

• Reward yourself in some way if you are able to come up with more POSITIVE alternative outcomes. (A good MOTIVATOR!)

• Use of HUMOUR to diffuse situations. May also put you in a better mindset to try and think more POSITIVELY.

• Try confiding in someone else how you are feeling. It can be helpful just to know someone else is prepared to give you the time and LISTEN. They may also help to get things more into perspective. There could be the benefit of sharing of experience and helpful strategies given about how they have managed in previous situations.

Do you always wash your hand after shaking hands with someone? Do you at least change clothes at least 10 times before you leave for work? Do you go to the doctor for a check up once a week?

You’d better be careful if your answers to my above questions are YES.

Have you ever heard about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)? If you don’t, read the details below.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a mental disease that triggers people to have unnecessary thoughts (obsessions) and to duplicate specific behaviors (compulsions) over and over again.

Please note that it is normal for people to have routines but if you overdo it, it can lead you to OCD.

Some researchers believe that OCD stems from behavior habits that you learn over time. Yet, no one has found a single, proven cause for OCD. Some studies show that it may have to do with chemicals in the brain that carry messages from one nerve cell to another.

There is also a chance for someone to develop OCD if he/she has parents or other family member with the disorder although researchers haven’t identified it yet.

Another factor is stress. If you react or retain to stress very strongly, you might also have a chance to develop OCD or any other disorder.

However, it can be cured with the right treatments which are psychotherapy and medications.

Psychotherapy involves step by step exposure to the object that you feel afraid of or to your obsessions.

One of the medications taken by OCD patients is antidepressant which can help increase levels of serotonin.

Yet, both treatments should be followed by big supports from friends and family. Also, joining a support group to share experiences with other patients is also a very good way to be speedily cured.

Dear Friend,

I would like you to take a moment and answer this very important, though perhaps shocking, question: “What age will you be when you die?”

The truth is, most people don’t ever really think about how long they’re going to live, but when asked the question, they usually have a very specific age in mind.

“What if I told you I could help you find more time to enjoy the finer things in life? …without turning your life upside-down. Wouldn’t you jump at the opportunity?”In fact, quite some time ago, when I was presented with this same question, I was surprised how quickly I answered it. And what’s more, my voice uttered the number with such absolute conviction, it almost scared me.

So go ahead, take a few seconds and answer the following question: “What age will you be when you die?”

Now that you’ve got a number in your head, let me share with you how answering this very important question may in fact forever change your life… and help you build a better body (one that you and others can be proud of)!

See, if you’re like most people, once you were asked this question… you arrived at your answer based on a number of factors&ndashfor example, from family medical histories or actual deaths of close elderly persons in your life. Or, maybe you just had a number “pop” into your head, like 77, because the U.S. Census Bureau has been telling us&ndashfor so many years now&ndashthat’s the average age when most Americans die.

Now, believe it or not, the number you consequently came up with is absolutely right! That’s more than likely the exact age you’ll be when you exit this earth.

(Keep reading if you want to learn *how* to increase the longevity of your life…)

Your “Extra” Years Are Who You Really Are

Perhaps we have a secret hope that somehow we won’t ever die&ndasheven though there is no evidence from human history that this is possible or that it’s ever happened. It’s almost as if the subject of death will jinx you, so it’s taboo. That’s simply not true.

Today, of course, most doctors and medical scientists agree that progressive technologies and medical breakthroughs, combined with healthy dietary and exercise habits, can increase the number of years we’ll live.

Still, in my opinion, living longer is not necessarily our main goal. Rather, it’s much more important to increase the quality of our lives, today… as in this very moment… and then continue with the next day and so on and so forth, for the rest of our lives. That’s what matters&ndashnow! Don’t you agree?

Well, I’ve recently come across an excellent “mental exercise”&ndasha powerful technique if you will&ndashthat can do just that.

What if I told you I could help you find more time to enjoy the finer things in life? Re-energize yourself completely to take on any new challenges you want? Re-build your physical health and develop your physique to an entirely new level? All without turning your life upside-down. Wouldn’t you jump at the opportunity?

Well, I did. Now, I want to share with you how you can do it too. It’s a process that will instantly increase the quality of your life… and even extend the years you’re around to enjoy it. (The exercise was developed by a friend of mine from Canada and adapted from the “Life-Time Extender

In a culture full of reasons to say “no,” it takes a lot of courage to find ways to say “yes.”

We’re taught to say “no” from a very young age, after all. For most of us, our first word was “no”, and it quickly became our favorite word. As toddlers and teenagers, we used “no” to

differentiate ourselves from our parents, peers, and surroundings. It’s how we began to control what was happening around us, or at least, how we tried to control that. It helped us over those early developmental hurdles, and gave us our earliest sense of our personal boundaries — and that’s a lot of significance bound up in such a tiny word!

The problem isn’t that “no” in and of itself is somehow bad; indeed, giving yourself permission to say “no” as an adult can keep you out of an awful lot of trouble.

The problem is that “No” begins to take on a life of its own. Too often, that life is yours.

Life is change, and “no” becomes a way of slowing down that change, or trying to stop it altogether. It is a shield we use to protect ourselves from having to experience anything new or different. Rather than riding the wave of change into a life full of exhilarating possibilities, we use “no” as a tether to keep us safely confined to the kiddie pool.

Using “no” to protect ourselves from change is like a kitten poking its head under covers, assuming it’s completely hidden. Change is going to happen, whether you say “no” to it or not. And, just like that kitten, assuming that “no” protects you from change is one sure way to have it pounce on you and bite your tail.

Let’s be honest here: We usually say “no” out of fear, and some fears are entirely reasonable. It’s sensible to say “no” to jumping off a bridge or “no” to cake if you are diabetic. These “no’s” aren’t the ones that keep us from living lives of incredible satisfaction and happiness. It’s those silly, neurotic fears like fearing rejection, or of looking stupid, or being wrong. It’s the fear of commitment, the fear of speaking out, and the fear of facing our truest, deepest desires. The list is nauseatingly long, and we’ve all bought into some of these at least once. These fears have shaped our lives, often to our detriment and sometimes to the detriment of those around us.

So the next time you’re faced with something new and exciting and all those little neurotic fears start rioting inside you, what does it take to fight down a “no” and say “yes” instead?

In a word: Courage.

Like the Cowardly Lion (an archetype for the fear-ridden) we need to find our courage. Unlike him, we know that we have to face our fears, and find our courage within. Inside each of us beats a brave, fiercely courageous heart, willing to take on a challenge if it means that life afterward will be more authentic, happier, and freer. What better challenges to tackle than the fears that keep us chained to our tiny, boring, closeted little lives?

Do yourself a favor: Right now, identify and tackle at least one of those inner fears. Find a reason to say “yes” today, and every day. You’ve only your inner coward to lose!

I have read just about every possible book on creating a wealth and prosperity, yet having enough money always seemed to elude me. Even after I committed to living God’s vision in my life full-time, I was still living on the edge of financial disaster. I decided enough was enough and one night in my evening prayer, I asked The Lord to reveal to me what it was I was missing. I went to sleep knowing I was on the verge of a breakthrough.

The next morning, I was laying in bed reading (one of my favorite past times) and God let me know what was missing in my world. He reminded me that as a child of The Most High, He has given me dominion over the earth, yet I didn’t see money and relationships as part of that dominion. At that point I admitted I truly did believe that money and relationships had dominion over me.

This insight left my mouth hanging wide open! I had to admit that I did believe that money had control over me. My emotions. My social life. My business. My daughter and me. My home. Everything. I call these rough realizations “spiritual spankings” and God let me have it that day.

As I travel the country speaking, I am constantly baffled at how many of us do not do what God created us to do out of fear that it won’t pay the bills. It is easy to be faithful when the bills are paid, but can we believe beyond our circumstances? Can we believe God gives us dominion over money? Will we believe God will open up the windows of heaven and pour blessings upon us if we’d only listen to His urges that will lead us to financial prosperity beyond that which we can imagine? Your money flow will be blocked until you are fully on purpose and making the difference in the world you were born to make. How would your life change if you truly felt that living God’s vision is a blank check of joy, prosperity, and wealth?

Here’s a few things to work on in relation to vision and money:

1. Practice detaching your emotional state from your bank account balance. Your self-worth is not your net worth. Will you choose to be joy-filled and light even if your money is funny or circulating elsewhere?

2. Practice being sincerely happy for those that are receiving blessings. Especially the very blessings that resemble what it is you really want.

3. Boldly ask for what it is that you need. Stay in the mindset of expectation that God will handle not only all of your family’s needs, but their heart’s desires. God promises that He will provide our needs. God always comes through. The real issue is our level of faith and belief. How would your life change if you only believed?

Practice these three steps and you will be freed up around money&ndashno matter what it looks like today&ndashand well on your way to true wealth!

With All My Heart,

Ericka