My Essay Blog

Over the last few years I’ve spoken to a number of people who want to know ‘what life is all about’.

A decade or more ago I had my own questions on this subject. Since then I have listened too and read the theories of people who seemed wise enough.

Funnily enough I think one of the wisest comments on the subject came from Woody Allen, He said, ‘I’m astounded by people who want to know the universe when it’s hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.’

Allen’s quote simplifies it for me. We can spend too long looking at the big picture and forget about the smaller picture - our own life.

Our own life is where most of can make the most difference. Sometimes though it’s knowing where to start.

I’ve become a great believer in people gaining personal clarity. In my opinion, clarity is the number one issue we need to resolve before taking on anything.

I know some people argue for an easier flowing attitude that allows - and at times I’d agree this can have huge benefits - However, too much ‘what-ever will be, will be,’ will mean the ship will just drift. The result being, never building much that’s worthwhile.

Again and again, in coaching sessions I see clients pulling together the lose strands of opportunity and developing them with clarity into something that can make a change, both in their life, their communities and in some cases further a field.

When we understand the first pillar - clarity - the second pillar fits easily into place. Let me explain why.

In business if we know we need customers, but don’t know whether to sell massage or reiki and have a perception that what we offer is for everyone, then we’ll have a hard time attracting enough custom to pay your bills.

If however we decide what we most want to do is find massage customers, then define the section of the population that have a need for our service, we have not just found clarity, but the meaning to pursue a significant number of people who could help us provide a service they need. This is much more fruitful that the what-ever will be.

If we feel fed up with life and think that more TV or a holiday in sun is the answer, we’ll struggle to find what we need. If however, we read, go on workshops and speak with other seekers, we’ll turn the inspirational thought - that there must be more in life - into a reality.

So while the first pillar is clarity, the second is meaning. Clarity hones in. Meaning, creates the drive. Here’s an example of how I put everything in this newsletter into something that works.

When I have a flash of inspiration, I let it settle. I play with the idea in my mind and explore it.

When I began coaching people, I knew I could coach on many things, I advertised all kinds of things to everyone and found a few clients, but never quite enough.

Then I considered where I bring the most hope and inspiration to people and the type of people that seem to seek me out most often.

What I decided was that people who find me are most often open-minded people who want to establish their own business. They’ve identified that something holds them back - anything from lack of confidence to cash - and they want my expertise to unlock them from this spell they don’t seem to be able to break.

In life, years ago, I knew I wanted to create something better. At first I didn’t know what that was and I read hundreds of books, went on all kinds of workshops and met many people, until it became clearer to me what I wanted my life to be about.

Having decided what I wanted, I had the meaning to engage other people into my dreams. Where our dreams matched, magic happened, and still does.

You’ll find some useful tips below…

1. Understand it’s okay to drift sometimes.

2. Keep a keen eye out for moments of inspiration that can shape your future reality

3. As things take shape, start to work out how you can help the process, create clarity.

4. Write your clarity down. Make it 1-2 sentences.

5. With clarity meaning will follow and you’ll find like-minded people easier to engage on your mission.

Love and good wishes

Neil

In this article, I write about the various types of stuttering therapies that are available. My background, I started stuttering at the age of four, it continued until I was twenty-two, basically ruining the eighteen years in between. I then fought very hard and eventually overcame the stutter.

According to latest figures, around one percent of people in the UK have a stutter. Most of these people will have seeked help at some stage of their life, and will have looked into stuttering treatments and the different forms of stuttering therapy. This is what they may have found:

Traditional speech therapy

Speech therapy is where the majority of people who stutter will start when trying to improve their speech. I myself, attended speech therapy from the age of five, I continued attending until the age of eighteen. Thirteen years and I still had the stutter, that was successful!

The advice I had been given at speech therapy was basically:

speak slowly

take a deep breath before you speak

accept your stutter

I am sorry but that advice is just not good enough.

Group stuttering speech courses

There are now a number of private speech courses that are run on a group basis. In my opinion these are of more value than traditional speech therapy as at least the aim of the course is to eradicate the stutter. Speech therapy is more of controlling and accepting the stutter.

One to one speech courses

There are also one to one speech courses available. I personally believe that this is the best form of stuttering therapy as each person will have their own individual stutter and needs.

Stuttering self help dvd and ebook

For people who would prefer a self help form of stuttering therapy, there are now stuttering dvds and ebooks available.

If you’re looking to lose some unwanted body fat, this article will show a few simple, proven ways to shed more fat in less time.

Drink more water throughout the day. Drinking water will help you feel fuller throughout the day. You will be less likely to be hungry and less likely to snack. Try drinking an 8 ounce glass of water or flavored water before you eat. The water should help you feel less hungry so you will eat less during the meal. If you are new to drinking water each day. Start out drinking one quart of water per day. Slowly increase your water intake up to a total of 64 ounces per day. If you are not use to drinking water and then you suddenly start to drink a lot of water, you can mess up your electrolytes. So start out drinking water slowly, just as you would start an exercise program slowly and slowly increase as the days go on. Did you know you can live for weeks without food, but only a few days without water? Water is essential to overall good health and helps to carry out the toxins from the body through the urinary tract and bowels.

Eat five to six small meals each day. One good rule to follow is to fuel the body with something small and nutritious every 5 hours. This helps to keep your metabolism running smoothly and efficiently, which in turn helps your body to burn more fat. If you eat one or two large meals each day will cause your metabolism to slow down. Skipping meals will cause your body to hold onto stored fat as a defense mechanism. Your body becomes unsure of when it will get its next meal. The body will conserve stored fat in case of future calorie needs.

Each meal should be a combination of high protein, carbohydrates and a dash of fat. Your plate should contain more fruits and vegetables than the protein or fat. A good rule to follow with how much protein to consume at mealtime is just enough that would cover the palm of your hand. Anymore protein than this eaten at one meal will automatically turn into stored fat, which is exactly what you doesn’t want to happen. Never skip breakfast. You should eat a well-balanced breakfast within two hours of awakening from an 8 to 10 hour sleeping period. Good sleep is also important for good overall health and burning fat. Sleep that has some dreams throughout the period of sleeping is a good indication that you are getting the kind of sleep you need.

High quality protein is found in foods like chicken, turkey, fish, eggs, milk and cheese. Quality carbohydrates are fruits and vegetables. Berries are especially good for antioxidants. Use breads, cereals and pasta sparingly and only as condiments. Take Fish Oil everyday.

Cardiovascular workouts 3 to 4 times per week are highly recommended to help you burn fat and calories. The safest exercise for bones and joints is a moderately brisk walk, 30 minutes at least per session, and 3 to 4 times per week. Cardiovascular exercise increases your metabolic rate and helps you to burn more calories throughout the day even while you are resting. Anymore than 30 minutes per day of cardiovascular exercise can lead to overtraining.

Weight train three to four times per week. Weight training helps you burn more calories and fat in the future. Weight training does not burn a sufficient amount of fat while you’re training. It is important to add lean muscle to your body. You burn more energy/calories just to maintain that lean muscle tissue. If your body has lean muscle you will burn more calories even while sleeping. The more calories you burn, the more fat you lose. This is why weight training is an important part of a weight loss program.

With all exercise programs, always remember to begin slowly.

Reduce your calorie intake slowly. In order to lose body fat, you need to burn more calories than you consume. Begin by reducing your daily calorie intake by 150 to 300 calories. Start cutting out extras like butter, cream, mayo, sugar and high-calorie dressings or condiments. Try using spices to add flavor to your food.

As you reduce your daily calories, you should be able to observe in the mirror what effect it is having on your body composition and shape. If you don’t see results after a couple of weeks of reducing your daily calories, reduce than again by 150 to 300 calories per day. A slow, methodical drop in calories will allow you to find the number you need to keep losing fat without sacrificing lean muscle tissue. If you eat too few calories, your metabolism will also slow down and you will stop adding lean muscle tissue. Over time, you will fine the number of daily calories you need to keep losing body fat without losing lean muscle tissue.

This article is FREE to publish with resource box.

A person acquires learning not only because he reads a material but because he uses the different senses in his body which are all important in making him understand, expand and retain the information. Like every other individual, we are all able to understand, learn and use a piece of information because we put all our learning senses in to use.

We see, hear, smell, feel and even taste a bunch of things in a day. Each day also, we learn new and interesting facts of life. Add interest and focus to it and you’ll get a surefire approach to learning and memorization. One may wonder why even with all the information we’re able to read through and look in to, remembering or memorizing single information sometimes doesn’t seem to work right. It’s not because we’re too occupied with so many things at once, it’s just that, we don’t use our senses to convince ourselves that learning can be done simply by utilizing what we already have.

Take for example when you’re looking at an article of a magazine. Your brain may retain details that you see in a glimpse but most likely, these are the ones that only appeal to your attention. Try reading something you haven’t read before. On the process of doing this, use your senses so the percentage of retaining the material becomes high.

You can say it out loud. As you do this, listen intently to what you say. Try to imagine the details from the material you read. Imagine the scent, the colors, the sound and even the texture. Try to imagine what you hear according to what you read. Imagine the roughness or smoothness of the objects mentioned; the shapes and sizes. By allowing yourself to take you to the exact scene of what you’re reading, you invite impressions of all sorts in to your mind which makes it distinct and even easier to recall.

The result of this is a better memory and memorization proficiency.

Many people become affected by different levels of stress. This stress may be caused by worrying about money, work, relationships, health, family, holidays, moving house or many other daily issues. For certain people who live life with a stuttering problem, stress can have an altogether different meaning. As well as worrying about all of the above issues they have many other things to stress about, things that fluent people just take for granted and see as very simple tasks/events.

I will take as an example a young man who is eighteen years of age, I will call him Peter. Peter has had a problem with his speech for as long as he can remember and has what is known as a stutter or stammer. Despite attending regular speech therapy classes, Peter has continued to be affected by this form of speech impediment and is starting to become very concerned about the future.

The first area of concern for Peter is his career prospects. He worries that quite a lot of employers may be reluctant to employ somebody who has a speech impediment and even if he is able to gain employment he worries about how he will cope in the workplace when he is unable to talk fluently. Routine tasks such as answering the telephone, having a conversation with a colleague, having a meeting with his team leader are things that cause Peter a lot of stress. This stress is affecting Peter before he has even got the job, what will he be like therefore once he has one.

Peter also stresses about love and marriage. He has yet to have a girlfriend, which he puts down to his lack of overall confidence and ability to chat them up. He would however dearly love to meet a woman with whom he could call his own girlfriend but worries that no girl/woman would want to date somebody who has a stutter. Even if he were to meet a girl, he then worries about all of the social aspects that go with having a girlfriend, such as meeting her parents and friends. Peter has never been one for socialising and prefers to spend time on his own relaxing. When he is on his own Peter never has a problem with speech and can say any word without the fear of stuttering.

Marriage is something Peter is almost certain he will not be getting involved with. The thought of having to stand up in front of a crowd of people, to give a speech, fills him up with dread. Peter can not imagine himself ever having the courage or confidence to be able to do that.

For people out there who are stressed about something, spare a thought for people who stutter as they have probably got it a whole lot worse than you.

Smoking is one of the most addictive behaviors a person can have. It is said that even if a pack a day smoker manages to quit for a few years, the tendency to return to the habit is quite big. All he has to do is take one drag and the entire addiction is back again. Hypnosis is one of the many methods which can seriously help. A friend of mine once tried to quit smoking by hypnosis. With this short story of his experience, you can get some insight into what you expect your experience to be.

He was a pack a day smoker, for about 5 years or so. He actually needed the cigarette to feel calm and think straight. The urge to quit, finally, became larger than the urge to smoke, so he decided to give hypnosis a try. His experience was nothing short of astounding!

What he did was buy a Quit Smoking Mp3 from one of the popular online retailers. Burnt it on to a CD, put on some headphones and lay on his bed, waiting to be hypnotized. The first time he did it he fell asleep! The sessions tend to be a bit long, at around 45 minutes or so. There was no effect, so he made sure he stayed awake the next time.

So after he did it right, he started experiencing a very interesting mindset. He still wanted to smoke, he still knew he would enjoy the feeling of nicotine in his body, but he could not smoke! He would sometimes even put the cigarette into his mouth, but then he would put it back in its pack and keep it away. He said he was literally in two minds, one of them was a smoker and the other was not! And the non-smoker was stronger.

This only lasted for only about 4 - 5 hours or so. But this was because he listened to it just once. All hypnosis products recommend that it should be listened to at least for 10 days straight to have a long lasting effect. You should keep that in mind…

“To keep a lamp burning, you have to keep on putting oil in it” is a favorite quote of mine by Mother Teresa. Simple isn’t it? But in today’s world our tanks run on fumes for long periods of time and that’s not good! We get stuck in the perspective of “the way it is” and just keep going. Life and events start to run us vs. us running our life.

Recently, I took a trip with some friends and I was reminded of how important “me time” is to my physical and mental well being. Life continued on without me… the house was still intact, my kids didn’t starve and the dog was fine. But most important I returned recharged and with a new perspective on life.

How do you change your perspective? It would be nice if we had a warning light to let ourselves know we need to re-charge or have some down time. The endless to-do’s and should do’s drain our tanks. We push ourselves to the max, with the: job, kids and sports. We tell ourselves “it will slow down after X “.

I invite you to stop making excuses (pretty harsh hey?) and take some time for you. School is ending, vacations are beginning, and schedules are changing, now is a great time for you, to give you, a break…

One way to change a perspective is to step back or get above the details in order to unwind, gain clarity and reflect. I am talking about taking a moment to relax and re-fuel to keep you going and burning bright. Whatever your pleasure; a day at the beach, a good book, a long lunch or a few days away. We all need space and a place to recharge ourselves. Some steps to get you started:

1. Clear the mental clutter - Grab a pad of paper and a pen and de-clutter your mind. Write down everything that you’re thinking about, big or small. Just write, organize your thoughts later.

2. Give yourself permission - Now that you have cleared your head release any guilt you may have about making time for yourself. Start filling your mind with things you find relaxing and rejuvenating.

3. Reflect &ndash What accomplishments have you had or special events you have been a part of recently? We often move so fast onto the next thing we don’t soak in the moment.

4. Plan your recess - Make your plan. No should do’s or ought to’s allowed.

5. Schedule the time - Put the day away! Mark the calendar!

6. Tell someone - You have a better chance of doing something if you tell someone about it.

7. Unplug and refuel - Mentally, physically or emotionally whatever you decide to do.

8. Stay in the moment &ndash Yeah it is tough and try it anyways.

Use the beginning of summer and the above steps to get motivated to make time for you. You deserve it and it’s a gift for everyone in your life as you will be re-energized. Choose what works best for you.

We are most powerful and bright when operating on a full tank.

Wishing you an enjoyable summer and time to unplug!

The Italian language is one of the widely spoken languages in the world. Its descendants have scattered to all four corners of the world but most of them are now living in the United States. But still, many English speakers try diligently to speak the Italian language and it’s interesting because despite the numerous Italian speakers, the struggle to speak the language is still there.

It’s not a very difficult thing to do though. Learning the Italian language to speak it fluently and use it as a conversation tool in a daily basis can happen to anyone. But the attitude of wanting every Italian language lesson to be covered in, let’s say, a matter of 6 months is extreme. Every person who has gone on learning Italian can attest that speaking fluently a foreign language takes years. And the anticipation to get it over with doesn’t contribute to effective learning either.

When learning the Italian language, which also applies to other foreign languages, one has to be dedicated enough to learn and understand each area which comprises the language. Next to this is the undying trait a student should always have &ndash the willingness to practice.

Practicing takes you as far as you can go. You can learn the Italian language but it doesn’t completely answer the question of being able to use the language for practical reasons. You will have to put everything you are learning to practical purposes, the sooner the better.

Think of it this way, if you are exposed to everything Italian everyday, you will definitely be able to get a good understanding of the language. But don’t forget, your interest should always be there. If you are not interested in pursuing how to learn Italian, studying it in the first place will be completely useless.

Remember, the more you know about the Italian language, the easier for you to adjust to it. The idea is to absorb Italian essentials everyday. If you learn Italian for hours during every weekend, it’ll be difficult to retrace the previous lessons. Don’t try to hurry up on things. It’s more important if you take a few minutes of your time everyday to learn 2-3 Italian words and apply it throughout the day. Practice, practice, and practice makes a lot of sense.

First of all, let’s understand this. Stress is not the pile of papers sitting on your desk. Stress is not the child screaming in the living room, or the clean laundry the dog just dragged out the door. Stress is not the phone that is ringing off the hook, throwing you behind schedule.

Stress is your response to those things. They are stressors, not stress.

A Stressor May or May Not Be a Cause of Stress

When we look for signs and symptoms, causes of stress, we must look at every stressor as a potential cause of stress. I say “potential” because stressors do not have to cause stress. Different people will respond differently to them, and it is the response, you remember, that is the stress.

For example, a great cause of stress for one secretary may be a stack of documents waiting to be filed. She hates filing because she has no system. She is never sure where to file a given paper, so she puts off all filing. The stack grows, her anxiety grows, her guilt grows, but a lack of expertise paralyzes her. Finally, she becomes ill, and takes a day off work. The substitute secretary takes one look at the stack of documents and sets to work cheerfully. She has developed a filing system, and is confident of where she should put the papers. She soon has everything cleared away, and rewards herself with a quick 5-minute walk.

The stressor was the pile of documents to be filed. It was the same for both secretaries. One secretary responded with anxiety and guilt, resulting in physical sickness. The other responded with cheerful confidence, resulting in successful completion. The stressor was not an absolute cause of stress.

Everyday Causes of Stress

Everyday causes of stress are recurrent. They keep coming up. Here are a few examples.

1. The boss that never has a pleasant word for you can be a cause of stress if you let him. It depends on whether you let him bother you, or whether you decide to take it in stride.

2. The child that daily refuses to get up in time for school can be an everyday cause of stress for the parent that does not take control of the situation.

3. A family member that is always on the phone will become a cause of stress if you want to use the phone, and have no control over the situation.

4. Your neighbor’s barking dog, or even a singing bird on the windowsill is a potential cause of stress, depending on how you respond.

5. The spot on your clothing from food dropped during lunch might be a cause of stress when you go back to work &ndash or you might have the emotional resilience to ignore it.

Our days are filled with signs and symptoms, causes of stress to which we will choose either to respond or not to respond.

Occasional Causes of Stress

In addition to potentially hundreds of everyday causes of stress, each of us faces occasional things that may become causes of stress. They may seem bigger, and more difficult to handle.

Each of these three could become a cause of stress.

1. You are relocating. You have to sort, pack, and clean. Then you have to move to a new location. You leave behind your friends and acquaintances. You leave your former life in many ways. Relocation can be a major cause of stress, or you can prepare ahead of time to deal with the emotional changes.

2. Your job is being redefined. There is new, more difficult work to do, and little time to do it. This potential cause of stress could make you physically ill unless you organize the work and take control.

3. Family finances are suddenly cut when you or your spouse loses a job. Might this be a cause of stress? It depends on whether you immediately take action to seek new employment, and use your spare time to catch up on little chores around the house.

Each potential cause of stress can overwhelm an individual, or energize them to take on the challenge and turn things around.

Life-Changing Causes of Stress

A stressor in this category is much more likely to become a cause of stress, since such changes shake our very roots. Look at these examples, and see if there is a cause of stress you are trying to handle.

1. Serious illness or injury of a family member can quickly become a cause of stress. We find it difficult to respond appropriately to this kind of stressor. Emotionally and mentally, we lack the resilience we need.

2. Separation from a spouse due to martial difficulties, or even due to your job, can also become a cause of stress. Emotional tension may overcome you as your body responds to the parting.

3. Divorce is a too-common cause of stress, and one that is difficult to handle with an appropriate response.

4. A major loss of income will be a cause of stress to those who rely too much on finances. Credit difficulties falls into the same group.

5. Finally, the death of a child or spouse is a stressor that almost always will become a cause of stress.

The Underlying Cause of Stress

The ultimate underlying cause of stress is our inner response to losing control of our lives. It is natural for humans to want to control life at every turn. We want to be the masters of our own ships, and be able to determine what will happen to us. Stressors threaten that control, and we respond by preparing to fight whatever is stealing the control we want &ndash or flee from it. Stress is the “fight-or-flight” response of our bodies.

If all the signs and symptoms, all of the causes of stress were lumped together and labeled with a single phrase, that phrase would be “response to the loss of control”.

For most people, blushing is a normal reaction to being embarrassed. However, for people who have a problem with excessive blushing, embarrassment is far from the only trigger for blushing. For problem blushers, blushing occurs frequently and in response to all types of situations and events.

People who blush excessively seem to blush randomly, with no visible triggering event. However, blushing is always a physical reaction to some type of mental trigger. It can be triggered by embarrassment, being in the limelight, being concerned about perceptions of other people, and even by simply being fearful of blushing. People who blush excessively tend to be hypersensitive to being judged by other people, and so frequently blush any time they feel that other people are watching or thinking about them.

Problem blushers become even more self conscious as a result of their excessive blushing, and so frequently develop a phobia associated with blushing. Unfortunately, being afraid of blushing often becomes a self fulfilling prophecy for problem blushers that exacerbates the problem.

When problem blushers become aware that they have tendency to blush more frequently than other people, their first reaction is often to try to control their blushing. They become fixated on trying to control blushing, and thus come to live with a constant dread of blushing. Such a reaction leads to efforts to resist blushing, which are often futile and counterproductive.

The more a problem blusher tries not to blush, the more likely the person is to blush. The act of mentally focusing on blushing, or trying to avoid blushing, can be a mental trigger that brings on a physiological blushing reaction. When blushing is on a person’s mind all of the time, blushing is likely to occur with a greater frequency and intensity. Therefore, the more a person tries to ward off blushing, the more problems the person is likely to experience with blushing.

The fear of blushing can be a tormenting experience for someone people who blush excessively. Excessive blushing that one cannot control is both stressful and frustrating, and can lead to serious self esteem and social problems. Problem blushing and the fear associated with it can even lead to depression if it continues unchecked.

One of the best ways to reduce problem blushing is to stop fighting it so much. There are many useful tips and suggestions that can help problem blushers learn to let go of the fear that intensifies their problem blushing behavior.

One excellent resource is Blushing Free, a downloadable audio book by author Gary Ambrosh. To immediately begin learning how to reduce problem blushing, visit BlushingFree.com. Your quality of life will be greatly enhanced when you learn to control the problem blushing that causes unnecessary social stress and anxiety in your daily life.