My Essay Blog

Have you ever seen a picture of someone who has had anorexia for a long time? The image usually reflects someone who is really just skin and bones, yet continues to starve him or herself. To someone who has never had anorexia, it is hard to look at such an image and comprehend how the person who is in the picture looks in the mirror and sees a fat person who still needs to lose weight.

Without understanding the psychological aspects of anorexia, it is impossible for someone who sees themselves accurately to understand how distorted the body image of an anorexic is. Because a major part of anorexia is an obsessive and overwhelming fear of being overweight, those with the disease develop a distorted body image. They truly do not see their bodies the way they really are. If you tell an anorexic person that he or she is too thin, the person will believe you are lying to them.

Someone with problem blushing behaviour is not likely to immediately see the connection between problem blushing and anorexia, but there is an important similarity between the two conditions. Problem blushing behaviour has psychological ties as well. Because people who have problem blushing tend to be overly sensitive to the opinions of other people, any time they feel that they are being judged, they start to blush even more.

If you experience problem blushing, you know the overwhelming feeling of shame that sweeps over you when you feel a blush starting to creep up your neck and over your face. But, here is a question to ask yourself. Do you know how your blush looks to someone else? Do you think you look like a sunburned crab to the other person? Or, is it possible that your blushing really isn’t as bad as you think it is?

Before you answer that question, remind yourself that an 80 pound anorexic woman honestly believes that she is fat. She looks in the mirror and sees an obese person. She thinks that when you look at her, blushing or not, that you see someone who is morbidly overweight.

How do you know how you look to other people? When my girlfriend found out that in my audio book, Blushing Free, I comment that my blushing problem reached an all-time high when I first met her, she was surprised. She never even noticed what I thought were the worst episodes of excessive blushing I experienced in my life.

Just like anorexics have an excessive fear of being overweight that distorts their body image, problem blushers have an excessive fear of blushing that distorts their perception of what blushing does to their appearance. I’m not saying that problem blushers don’t blush too frequently. As a former problem blusher myself, I know that problem blushing is real. What I am saying is that as a problem blusher, your perception of what problem does to your appearance is worse than the reality.

As a problem blusher, a great first step toward getting over your problem is to recognize that part of your problem is tied to your fear of blushing. I’m not saying that you are making it up, but I am saying that it is partially in your mind. When you realize that your blushing problem isn’t as bad as you think, and that other people are likely to not notice or not care about it, you’ll be a little bit closer to putting the problem of excessive blushing behind you once and for all.

It is estimated that one in three couples who were married in the past decade will go through a divorce. Divorce is a word that affects millions of people. We have all known someone who has gone through a divorce or been through a divorce ourselves. When an individual is experiencing divorce this can be a very sad and lonely time and some people have trouble recovering.

If one does not recover from a divorce then that person is cutting their life short. There are so many amazing things that can happen to a person who has gone through a divorce. After a divorce an individual is given a new chapter in their life to write in any way, shape or form. This is a chance for a person to do things they have only dreamed about. If you are having trouble recovering from divorce and want to regain control of your life, you may want to consider hypnosis.

Hypnosis is a form of therapy that works on an unconscious or a subconscious level. An individual who undergoes hypnosis will be placed into a deep state of relaxation. It is during this deep state of relaxation that our subconscious mind is the most receptive to new ideas and perspectives. As our subconscious mind remains “open” positive suggestions will be delivered. These spouse suggestions are designed to offer encouragement, provide motivation, give confidence and define a definite plan for recovering from divorce.

A person, in the process of hypnosis, will learn how to visualize themselves recovered from their divorce, leading a happy and healthy life. Hypnosis allows a person to “see” themselves recovered and to “feel” how great life is after divorce. Divorce does not have to remain a roadblock that is stopping you from living life. Put the past behind you and take hold of a bright, new future. Can you imagine living life with zest, vigor and excitement? Your life can be everything you always dreamed of even after a divorce.

If you are experiencing a hard time recovering from divorce then, as a practicing hypnotherapist, I recommend that you seek out the services of a qualified hypnotherapist located in your area. Get more enjoyment form life and recover from divorce with the help of hypnosis.

Recently I have been reminiscing about my grandfather and all of the lessons he taught me. The funny thing is, I don’t even think he was aware that he was doing it. It wasn’t until much later in life that I became aware of what was being taught.

For instance, one warm day in Santa Cruz, California, I was helping him out in the fields near his property. With the neighbor’s permission, his plan was to expand the size of his field and add more crops. Back then a handshake and a gentlemen’s agreement is all that was needed to use each other’s land.

There I was, his proud assistant and like all assistants (especially grandchildren), I was sent to ‘go-fer’ this or that. This particular day he wanted me to go to the tool shed and bring back a certain tool. He needed a scythe, which was a long-handled implement with a curved blade used for cutting tall grass or grain.

I’m standing in the tool shed looking everywhere for that scythe. As does a typical child I yelled out “I can’t find it.”

He yells back in Italian “

It is estimated that seventy-five percent of the general population experiences at least some form of stress every two weeks. In accordance with this statistic half of the seventy-five percent of people experience moderate to severe levels of stress each week. These numbers add up to millions of people who experience stress on a regular basis. Lets face the truth life is stressful. We have to contend with personal, financial, professional stressors each day. Most westerners suffer from unhealthy stress levels caused from work. Stress is an unhealthy part of our lives that can be eliminated.

Stress contributes to “silent killers” such as high blood pressure, heart disease, strokes and several other fatal illnesses. On top of this alarming fact stress also affects the immune system, lowering our chance to fight off serious infections and diseases. Stress is not only a headache but if an individual is not relieved from stress then this can lead to illness or even death. It is very important to receive assistance in relieving stress.

Hypnosis is a successful way to relieve stress. The power of hypnosis works at a subconscious level. When a client undergoes hypnosis positive suggestions that include confidence building statements and motivational encouragement go to work to create new values, beliefs and thinking patterns. A client will learn to visualize themselves without stress. After the client has visualized themselves stress free the client will “feel” how great it is to live without stress. This is an amazing process that has worked for so many people.

When a client undergoes hypnosis the client is put into a deep, comfortable state of relaxation. It is during this deep state of relaxation that our subconscious mind is receptive to new ideas and perspective. The new ideas and perspectives that are introduced will lay the groundwork for a specific plan of how to relieve stress. A client will be able to handle work, family, financial situations and more without having stress. This is a happier and healthier way to live.

Hypnosis has so many wonderful benefits such as an improved self-esteem, greater confidence and a happier life. If you want to change you life by relieving yourself of stress then hypnosis is the perfect solution. As a practicing hypnotherapist I recommend that you seek the services of a qualified hypnotherapist that is located near you. Hypnosis can help you lead a better life by helping to relieve stress and so much more.

When I was small, I have never considered the importance of time. I would just laze around, watch TV, lie in bed, and play video games. As I grew older, I thought about the things that I have achieved. To my surprise, I haven’t accomplished a lot.

I resolved to myself that I will do things that will contribute to the benefit of mankind. I studied very hard and learned a lot of lessons from my experience. I lack self-confidence before, so I want to help other people overcome this predicament. I want to help anyone in need because it feels so good to solve other people’s problems.

I urge you now to make the most use of your time. It may be joining a fundraising organization. You may also learn new skills or crafts. Create a goal and go for it!

Don’t be a couch potato. Don’t just sit around and be contented with the monotonous patterns of your daily activities.

Do something nice and give all your best to the fulfillment of a worthwhile endeavor. It will give you a very deep sense of happiness and satisfaction.

Some people complain that they don’t have enough time to take action on their goals. They have to go to their 9 to 5 job, then when they go home they feel so tired all they can think about is watch TV, relax, and sleep.

I’m not saying that leisure is a no-no. In fact, everyone should take time out once in a while to recharge and revitalize their energy. The key is to have a balanced life. Set aside a fraction of your time to carry out your dreams and ambitions. Reserve some time to establish healthy relationships.

Ok, I hear you. You’re saying that you really just can’t budget your time?

Don’t panic. Here are some time management tips.

1) If possible, do more than one thing at the same time.

Exercise while watching your favorite TV show. Listen to educational tapes while waiting for the bus.

Be forewarned! Never do this if it puts you at risk or in danger; for example, don’t text while driving.

2) Don’t do something later if it can be done concurrently with an activity at present.

If you’re going to the market to buy some eggs, think of the other things that you have to purchase so that you don’t have to return again.

If you have an appointment with the dentist today and you also have to go to the bank (which is near the dentist’s clinic) at any day, schedule the two activities on the same day.

3) Be organized in everything that you do.

Put labels on bottles. Put similar files on one folder. Make a list of things you have to do for the day.

You can also use your mind to organize things you have to remember. Studies have shown that you could only retain information that fit between 5 to 9 categories at a time. This is the 7+-2 rule of Neurolinguistic Programming.

If you have many things to do, try to group related things together. You can combine activities such as reading books, listening to educational tapes, and watching training videos into a category such as “Education.” Then you can group swimming, playing basketball, and paying fees for the gym in a category called “Fitness.” Get the picture?

Time is one of our most valuable resources. Once lost, it can never be reclaimed. We must use time wisely for our development and advancement; so that when we are old, we can look back and recollect the pleasant memories and deeds that we have achieved. Time well spent is worth much more than gold.

To learn more on time management, go to .MillionaireMindTeam.com/timemanagement/

Stephan Bourget, consultant

Millionaire Mind Team

.MillionaireMindTeam.com

Competitive intelligence or CI is necessary ethical discipline for the taking of decisions based on the understanding of the competitive environment.

Research shows that companies with established programs of CI get greater profits for action than those of the same industry that does not have programs of CI. It is so important for that they to take decisions in companies of small or average port to know what it is for coming, as is for the presidents of the great companies listed in Fortune 500.

Thus,is possible to a company to be practising some form of CI and not perceive it. Any employee who visits an event, he reads a periodical, or talks with friends of the same economic sector, is making research (one of the components of the CI). But other components of the CI generally do not meet in the businesses.

Currently the CI add value to the collection of information and the strategical planning when introducing a system disciplined not only to the collection of information, but also when carrying through analyses and spreading its “findings” of form that are useful to the necessities of the decision takers.

The speed of the technological development and the growth of the global commerce, means that the current environment business-oriented is transforming more quickly than before. The entrepreneurs and average small professionals of the e companies, cannot more give themselves to the luxury to depend on the instinct or of the intuition when they take strategical decisions in its businesses. In much sectors (especially where the competition is each bigger time), the consequence to take a decision missed, can be to take the company to lose sales or to the bankruptcy.

Research shows that competitive intelligence increases the “level of comfort” of the strategical planning of the direction of the company. But after all what it is same Competitive Intelligence? Many confuse with Emotional Intelligence, others with Management of the Knowledge, others with Business Intelligence and still others speak in espionage. Prescott and Miller, comment that the “work of Sun Tzu on military intelligence, continues being read and are considered the father of intelligence.

For journalist Larry Kahaner, competitive intelligence is a systematic program of collection and analysis of the information on activities of the competitors and general trends of the businesses, aiming at to reach the goals of the company. Therefore, Competitive Intelligence or CI is one necessary ethical discipline for the taking of decisions based on the understanding of the current and future competitive environment.

Do you trust your feelings and take action for yourself based on your feelings? Many of us grew up learning to mistrust our feelings. “Don’t be ridiculous,” my mother often said to me when I asked her why she was angry. “I’m not angry,” she would say with anger in her voice. “Don’t be ridiculous” was what I often heard in response to many of my feelings. So I learned to mistrust my feelings. It took me many years of inner work to regain trust in my feelings.

Feelings are information. Our feelings such as anger, anxiety, depression, and hurt are letting us know that we are telling ourselves something that is not true, or treating ourselves in unloving ways. Our uncomfortable or lonely feelings around another person may be telling us that the other person is being judgmental, needy, angry, blaming or inauthentic.

For example, Sally consulted with me because she often found herself repulsed by her husband’s sexual advances. She was confused because she loved Tim very much, and there were times when she was sexually attracted to him. But most of the time she was turned off to him.

“Sally, when Tim approaches you for sex, what is his energy like?”

“Most of the time, I feel like he is pulling on me and demanding something from me. It doesn’t feel loving, it feels needy. But when I say something about it to him, he tells me that it us my issue &ndash that he loves me and just wants to express his love. I get so confused.”

Sally has a hard time trusting her feelings because her mother was constantly invalidating her feelings as she was growing up. She has the same problem with a neighbor:

“It seems to me that Chelsea is often subtly judging my daughter in front of her, yet when I’ve said something to her she makes me feel like it’s my issue.”

“Sally, if you decided to trust and honor your feelings, what would you do differently with Tim and Chelsea?”

“Humm…well, I think I would stop being so tentative and stop judging myself and be firm with them.”

“So what would you say to Tim when he is needy with you?”

“I would say, ‘Tim, I love you and I am turned on to you when you come to me with your love, but not when you come to me with this empty needy energy.’”

“What would you say to Chelsea?”

“I would say, ‘Chelsea, it is not okay to judge my daughter. If you keep doing this, I will not spend time with you.’”

“And what would you say or do if they tried to make it your issue?”

“I think I would say, ‘This doesn’t feel good,’ and then walk away.

“How would you feel if you did this?”

“I would feel great!”

Andrew has a similar issue with his wife Susan. Andrew often feels Susan is being what he calls “not real.” “There is something about her that is often inauthentic &ndash like she is being a certain way to get approval from me and from others. I feel smothered by it and I shut down. Then she complains about my withdrawal and about my not wanting to have sex with her. But when I try to explain it to her, she gets angry and defensive and tells me that I have a problem with intimacy.”

“Andrew, you are not trusting and honoring your feelings, which does create a problem with intimacy because you withdraw rather than speak your truth. If you were to totally trust your feelings when Susan is being inauthentic and pulling for approval, you would speak your truth instead of withdraw. Susan doesn’t know when she is being inauthentic. She is just confused by your withdrawal. If you learn to trust your feelings and honor them by telling your truth, you will likely see much improvement in your relationship.”

Andrew was surprised to learn that Susan actually appreciated hearing his truth, and their relationship is gradually improving.

When it comes to defining what hypnosis can and cannot do, I can only share with you what I know as fact, first hand, based on my own experience. In my opinion, if hypnosis has any limitations, they will be a direct result of unrealistic expectations.

I have seen hypnosis work in conjunction with traditional medicine. I have seen significantly reduced impact of side effects to certain treatments like chemotherapy. I have seen a reduction in pain, and increased tolerance to chemo and other treatments. I have witnessed a greatly improved ability to cope with the emotional strain of terminal illness with the help of hypnosis. But I have never seen hypnosis cure cancer. And I wouldn’t state that it can. Maybe others have made such claims, and if in fact they have achieved such heights of success with hypnosis, they can and should attest to it. But ethically, I cannot speak to speculation or risk imposing any false hopes upon my clients.

Other questionable benefits of hypnosis include actual physical changes in the body like enlarged breasts, or increased height. Perhaps if I were to follow the pursuit of one such benefit for an extended period of time, by specializing in breast enlargement for instance, I might be able to report back to you that it does in fact work, and that I did achieve the desired result. But again, I can only attest to what I know with certainty.

In my personal and professional opinion, an ethical hypnotherapist will promise only what he knows he can deliver. There are enormous benefits from listening to self hypnosis CDs and downloads. Yet there is no need to resort to falsifying facts. I’ve seen therapists selling hypnosis products for a wide range of issues. An unfortunate risk in making unrealistic promises is that people will lose faith in hypnosis altogether and deny themselves the benefits of this incredible tool because of the poor ethics of one or a few persons.

I certainly want people to try self hypnosis, and I wholehearted believe that everyone can benefit from it to some degree, but I also care to be able to live with myself, and respect the face in the mirror, and I would not go to unlimited lengths to get people to try it or purchase my product.

Those who have tried self hypnosis will need no further convincing, and those who haven’t should not have to fear false promises.

It’s past bedtime for most working men. It’s not unbearably late and I have no appointments tomorrow morning so I sit here and contemplate. Contemplate what? Well, what do I always contemplate? Life, the concept of God, the meaning of life, what’s happening in society, and my next step in my own journey; there really is a lot to consider or, more aptly put, more that one can consider. I speak of being in the moment, staying present and not worrying. You are more effective in that place. Yet, there are times for reflection.

Reflecting gives me the opportunity to check-in with the events of the past week. The conversations and people I’ve met. Along with that there is the recollection of the impact I made or they made during our exchange. This includes what may come from the relationship. Sadly, there are those people whose impact may have been negative. During the exchange there are attempts at honest communication and I’m saddened by the lack of insight they may possess; I am thinking of a particular incident. Friendship is a fickle thing.

I’m astonished by the mistakes we make as adults: Mistakes about our own beliefs and how that impacts others; Mistakes about relationship choices just because we feel ourselves getting older and perceive that to mean we’re running out of time; Mistakes of judging others before we’ve even had the opportunity to give a friendship or relationship a chance. One encounter with someone rarely scratches the surface and most issues people have in an exchange are their own issues. Chances are you’re seeing a reflection of yourself.

I’ve had to learn that a long time ago now. Many beliefs and attitudes I encountered that butted heads with me were typically a fairly representative reality of my own making, not theirs. What I would see is what I expected to see based upon previous encounters with other people. Little triggers would set me off, thinking about a past event, letting it taint the current potential for a new relationship. After shutting so many people out, I finally took stock and began to challenge myself to see past those initial encounters.

Most often, when we present ourselves to a new person, our strategy is to adopt a mask of conduct that we have become comfortable and safe with when dealing with people we don’t know or want to keep at a safe distance. Too often in the past we presented our most authentic self while growing up and had our trust betrayed. Or, we’ve been schooled by parents, teachers, friends that we should always be on our guard. I’ve found little reason to continue the charade.

While I will speak more freely about certain topics initially, I bring my truest nature into the relationship immediately. I speak openly about matters of the heart, matters of the spirit based upon my own experiences, and many other unusual topics of life and relationships. It troubles me to be in conversations with people who are guarded and anxious, as though they had something to hide, to protect, or suggest that I’m untrustworthy. To give trust is to be trustworthy.

In opening myself up to be vulnerable, I demonstrate trust and that I am trustworthy. This was affirmed on Saturday morning over coffee with a woman that I had only just met. We met to discuss aspects of her life that she would like improved. For two hours nothing was spoken about her situation. I discussed many aspects of my life, trials and tribulations, relationships, work, and beliefs. Towards the end of our time together, she said she trusted me completely. It was about who I was being with her that gave her this security and permission to be authentic. Others won’t go there.

Another woman with whom I spent even more time, continuing to be the same man I always am, has failed to find me trustworthy. Yet I behaved the same and was my authentic self and opened up about much of my life and such as I did on Saturday. She opened up herself, usually about one or two topics, and yet she was caught up in a belief system that didn’t allow her to trust herself with certain people. Based upon an initial impression, not of the person but of a stereotype she holds, I am lumped into a category of the type of person that can cause her to give up her power. That is such a revealing statement.

After communicating this to me, understanding why she has this issue, I am unable to respond in a way that will allow her to hear the truth. The filter is already in place and everything said will be heard from that perspective. Not from a place of impartial judgment, instead it is heard from a biased judgment. We did speak about that issue but rather than challenge her, I had to talk about me from that context. I don’t know if she will see what I see. If she gives up her power in context with certain people, then how is her relationship with herself? Does she trust herself?

We are complex and we are wise to be careful with whom we trust. I agree with that but at the same time, can you be so overly cautious that you no longer learn anything about yourself, your power, and how you can improve your circumstances when dealing with other people? Challenges are given to us to rise up and grow. When a problem shows up, you go through it. Or, like my grandfather would have said, “You grow through it.”

Not all powerful personalities are interested in controlling other people. I’d say the majority of us are happy with who we are and are just enthused by the exchange with other human beings. We don’t want your power, we want you to engage in a relationship that challenges and empowers. The questions I’m left with:

• “Why are you afraid?
  
  
• “Who are you really afraid of?
  
  
• “So what is it that you really want?
  
  

Do you find yourself becoming angry at the least little thing? Maybe your toddler interrupts your newspaper reading by climbing on your lap, and you become irritated. Perhaps your wife asks you to take her shopping, and you get angry because you were planning to go golfing. Learning some basic anger management techniques can restore a sense of self-control to your inner or external responses to situations like these. Even if you hold in your anger, it may not hurt others, unless they sense your withdrawal or unspoken irritation, but it will hurt you. Studies show that people who let anger build up inside tend to suffer more health problems than those who have less anger or manage it in productive ways. Many anger management techniques are easy to learn and practice, so give them a try before losing your temper unnecessarily again.

Anger Management Technique #1: Drain the Brain

When your temper begins to flare, one of the best anger management techniques is to mentally challenge yourself before taking out your anger on others. Ask yourself questions about the source of your irritation, the degree of your anger, and the other person’s actual role in the situation. Turn circumstances around to see how you would want to be treated if the other person felt as you do. These mental gymnastics can help you regain control over runaway emotions before they escape and cause external damage.

You also can try traditional anger management techniques to soothe your flare-ups. For example, count to twenty, not ten, before saying anything. Leave the room for several minutes, or hours, if necessary, before discussing sensitive issues that may provoke your anger. Write out a response to a problem before tackling it orally or in debate. This will give you time to think about the best approach to a problem rather than responding with random anger.

Anger Management Technique #2: Walk it Off

In those moments when you feel the familiar rage start to rumble, excuse yourself if others are present and take a quick walk down the hall or outdoors, depending on whether you are at home or at work, and the weather conditions. Even a five- or ten-minute stroll, especially one that is fast-paced, will help to cool your irritation as you practice the fight-or-flight strategy by escaping the potential conflict, which is one of the more popular and useful anger management techniques.

Other valuable anger management techniques include keeping a diary and writing about negative emotions to get them out of your system. You also may want to keep a pet, since studies show that petting a dog or cat, for example, helps to reduce blood pressure levels and harmful substances in your system that can damage blood vessels if left unchecked. Talking over situations with a trusted friend and venting to a therapist are two more anger management techniques used by thousands.

Don’t let anger get the best of you. Experiment with these and other anger management techniques, or visit useful websites like anger-management-information.com (site is not complete yet) for more information on how to tame the beast of anger in your breast.