My Essay Blog

Are you fed up with your work, don’t have any fun doing it? You wish you had more freedom to do what you want? That’s because you are compromising your potential and seducing yourself to a working machine, a robot. But don’t let the word “work” scare you! Work should be fun, as well as producing revenue for living. That’s what you get when you are working a true work of yours. True work makes you happy and gives you a sense of meaning. Have I got your attention? Then let me tell you how you can find your true work. This is a really simple exercise and it works with the frustration.

First, we will try to release some of your current frustration by finding an outlet. Simply imagine yourself doing what you would be doing if you don’t have to work. You have all the freedom and resources. Any ideas? Maybe you’d be watching TV all day, knowing no better. Or maybe you’d find yourself at the beach in a tropical island sipping pina colada, with all the hotties in their sexy bikini, then… Oh well, that’s okay. Coming from a repressed mind, those are natural answers. Don’t feel bad. Just enjoy.

Now, here’s the trick. While that kind of fantasies won’t get you anywhere, there is a way to work with one further to find meaningful insights. How, you may ask? Simple. Just fastforward your imagination up to the point of a few month or even years of doing that “fun stuff.” As you do this, you get increasingly bored, frustrated. Because the need was to release your repression, there is no point in repeating for so long if that need is fulfilled. This will get you REALLY thinking. Bored with the fun, what would you do in search of meaning? The frustration sets you afire. You will begin to see, what your true desire is, and in what way that could be represented in the physical world. Keep on working on that blurred vision, until it solidifies.

Once you have identified your potential true work, you need to start connecting that with realities of your life today. Start learning more about the subject. Read books, watch documentaries, whatever. If it’s writing a novel, start writing short stories. If it’s becoming a dancer, maybe start taking a dance lesson. It’s important to take that essential first step. The key is to envision yourself achieving the goal and to dig from both ends. Rewinding the success and watch through the steps that took you there in the imagination, and actually following what you discover.

When you work your true work, it is no more a forced thing. You’d be doing it anyway even if you didn’t have to. It is fun and fulfilling. It also makes other people happy by spreading your happiness, it grows. You get more of what you reinforce. So, do yourself a favor and take that first step. From then on, it should almost be automatic!

Throughout our lives we have various requirements that must be met. These are our needs and desires, which range from basic physical needs to selfless desire. When any of these are not met, negative physical, mental, and emotional complications and addictions can result, sometimes with distressful consequences. This discussion is about needs.

A need is an explicit requirement, like feeling hungry and demanding to eat or seeking assurance when you feel unloved and insecure. Satisfying a need means that it has been gratified, relieved, and discharged. Once you feel satisfied, your attention easily turns to something else.

The following list of needs is inspired by the work of Abraham Maslow.

Physical needs. Food, water, safety, shelter, health, basic comfort and income.

Security. You feel secure when you feel wanted, accepted, loved, and supported by others, and are able to feel a sense of belonging.

Connection. The drive to meaningfully relate, involve, give and receive, procreate and/or experience sexual fulfillment.

Self-esteem. You need confidence, competence, respect and power. When you feel approval, recognition and admiration from others, you naturally feel these for yourself and others. This develops the confidence needed to risk and strive. From competence and achievement, you develop assurance, poise, and power. Esteem in all these ways is preeminent to favorable development and behavior.

Integrity. This results from fulfilling your agreements with yourself and others. Because you carefully consider possible consequences, you are discerning in your choices and are thereby able to trust yourself.

Satisfying basic needs is primary. Without doing so, you are distracted, out of balance, and out of peace. If numerous needs are unsatisfied, then your disturbances are complicated and magnified. Your daily activities and creative flow are biased and directed toward the satisfaction of your unmet need(s). Your focus is distracted and skewed, your life is entangled with problems, and your fulfillment will be forever compromised.

Since most people don’t know how to address their unmet needs, they turn their attention to what seems easier. And yet it never truly works because weakness arises. For example, a person becomes a great singer, yet never learns how to develop or maintain healthy intimate relationships.

To satisfy basic needs one must feel the insecurity that develops from its lack, then determine the best way to effectively address it. However, many people lack the requisite trust, strength and method by which to do so. This inhibits healthy progress because they fear they will be weakened by admitting the lack; yet they will actually be strengthened.

The key is to identify the unsatisfied need that the negative behavior attempts to satisfy. Next, replace that negative behavior with a positive equivalent. For example, returning alone to her hotel room feeling the high of a concert, the great singer typically orders her favorite goodies, eats heartily, and grows larger. By determining that she never learned how to develop and maintain healthy relationships, she is able to decide how to begin developing satisfying relationships, even while touring.

Indeed, satisfying basic needs is necessary because it provides the foundation for all else to develop, and supports you to reach your optimum levels. Satisfying basic needs is fundamental to clarity, peace, and overall well-being, and supports your potential to be realized.

Feeling frustrated by your job is a very common occurrence. Many people feel they are in a lower position they are capable of performing and are not quite sure how to get to the next level of responsibility. Much of this is caused by the way we have programmed our brains to think and react to situations. An NLP training course can help.

A Brief Definition of Neuro-linguistic programming

Neuro-linguistic programming, or NLP, is a set of models of how communication impacts and is impacted by subjective experience. In addition to being an agent for change, NLP is also used in psychotherapy treatments for problems as diverse as phobias and schizophrenia. NLP also aims at transforming corporations, showing them how to accomplish their maximum potential and achieve great success.

The developers of NLP

The theories and application of NLP were co-created by two men in the 1970’s. One a linguist, John Grinder and his partner Richard Bandler. The initial focus of their experiments in NLP was to discover what gave three psychotherapists the advantage in successfully treating their clients. These three psychotherapists, gestalt therapist Fritz Perls, family therapist Virginia Satir and founding president of the American Society for Clinical Hypnosis, Milton H. Erickson, were more successful in treatment than that of their peers.

Timeline of NLP

1970: Founding and early development

1972: Research of Fritz Perls, Virginia Satir and Milton H. Erickson begins.

1975: Subsequently Structure of Magic Series published

1976-77: Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson published

1979: Frogs into Princes: Neuro Linguistic Programming published

1980: Neuro-Linguistic Programming: Volume I published

1980: Bandler and Grinder go their separate ways

1981: The first of many intellectual property lawsuits begin. NLP Training courses begin to be developed by many individuals. Given the diversity of developers and trainers, there is no single definitive system of NLP.

1982-87: Grinder and Judith DeLozier collaborated to develop the New Code of NLP.

1984-87: Research reviews in experimental counselling psychology by the United States National Research Council gave NLP an overall negative assessment marking a decrease in NLP research interest

1988-89: Bandler develops Design Human Engineering

It’s great when the family gets together, but you know that it’ll be much greater if all family members can get to know each other and share the family history. Much interest had been given to genealogic researches in the past years, but still, the most common form of genealogic research remains to be the family tree and its branching out. A family tree is a cinch to make if you intend to include only members of your immediate family (parents, sibling, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins) but what if you aim to include the three generations before you? Or what if you intend to find out who your ancestors are? This entails a much larger scope and therefore a more thorough research. This also means more extensive notes, files, pictures, interview transcripts, and other documents. To save you from disorganization and make your research easier, Carolyn Billingsley and Desmond Allen have devised an efficient filing system specifically for genealogic research.

The materials they prescribed are easy enough to procure such as a filing cabinet (boxes will do), data records, pens with black ink, file folders, notebook (loose leaf), and notebook dividers. They recommend that you start by making nuclear family records. Printed forms are available to make it easier. Record information by family. Separate your own family record from that of your parents. Use marriages as guide, as each marriage requires a separate data sheet. Fill out forms backward, starting from the present and to the past. Make all information on each family uniform, leave spaces for unknown data and fill them out later when you got the missing links. It is also important to indicate sources of the information. Include birth certificates, death certificates, and marriage certificates with the members’ personal information but remember to use only photocopied records. Label sheets with family surnames and put them in file folders duly labeled. Collect and store these nuclear family sheets to larger family groups. To do these use bigger filing folders. Label these folders by the family patriarch’s name, for example, your grandfather’s name. Include in this folder all files of your uncles, aunts, parent, married siblings, married cousins, etc. An optional step is to add a contents page to give you a clue about what is inside the folders. These will make it easier for you to fill out your family tree and its branches. An organized research will save you the trouble of diving into heaps of paper searching for documents that you think are there but have no idea where to find.

So many of us rush blindly through our days, fall into bed exhausted, and wake up the next morning to do it all over again. For many of us, our lives are composed of millions of meaningless moments, all strung together - perhaps with a sprinkling of sacred moments mixed in. I’m sure you can think of a few sacred moments in your own life. Maybe your marriage, the birth of your child(ren), or perhaps a heartfelt moment of connection with a good friend. These are the moments when we are consumed with joy and awe. At these moments, we are fully present in the moment. We aren’t worrying about tomorrow, or trying to rush through the experience to get to the next. We are in the now, and the now is amazing.

However, why do we wait for major events to honor these sacred moments? Why can’t every day be sacred? Every moment? Each moment is sacred - if we decide to make it that way. I stated above that our lives are filled with meaningless moments, but those moments are meaningless only because we don’t honor them. We are hurrying along, focused on other things, not stopping to notice them at all. They come and go without so much as an acknowledgement from us.

Honoring the sacred means simply choosing to make each moment count. It is a tiny shift in perception that assigns meaning and importance to each moment. It means stopping to notice the beauty and love around us, and within us. It means being fully present in each moment, because only the present moment truly exists. So many of us worry about the future, hold regrets about the past, and completely ignore the present. When we give the now our full attention, even mundane tasks can take on an aura of holiness. Then our lives become millions of meaningful moments. Nothing has changed except our perception, but it makes all the difference.

So how do we change our perception to one of sacredness? What does it mean to stay in the present moment? Let’s use an example: washing dishes. When most of us wash dishes, we hurry through it, often thinking about the million other things we need to get done that day (or the next day). Our minds are scattered all over the place, focusing on everything but what we are doing. Who can blame us? Washing dishes is not the most exciting experience. However, if we choose to make it a sacred experience, we will want to focus on it. We want to take our time and really pay attention to how the water feels on our hands, how the soap cleanses away the grease and grime, and the sense of satisfaction we get as each dish moves from the dirty pile to the strainer, now clean and shiny.

Maybe that still doesn’t sound very thrilling. Let’s look at what else is happening. As we give our full attention to washing the dishes, we are not only “doing,” we are BEING. Ah, that is the key. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing or not doing in each moment of our lives, it matters only that we become aware of our own state of Being. In those moments, we are fully alive and conscious. We are connected to everything, and we are One with everything. We ARE.

Have you ever heard the term, “walking meditation?” This can be great practice to help you honor the sacred in your own life. Many of us walk for health or recreation, but we can also walk for spiritual awareness. A walking meditation is a slow, focused walk where you give your full attention to each step you take, the feel of your muscles working, your breathing, and even your surroundings. Especially if you walk someplace in nature, a place with lots of trees and wildlife. The trick is to not let your mind wander, but stay focused on the now. It can take practice, but once you accomplish it, your life will never be the same.

Imagine living a full, meaningful life. Imagine miracles happening all around you. Imagine being filled with awe and gratitude each day, and laying down to sleep each night feeling peaceful and relaxed. You can. If you choose it.

THAT LITTLE BIT EXTRA…

The “little bit extra” is a very powerful concept to put into practice today in every aspect of your life. The difference between being ordinary and being extraordinary is that little bit EXTRA. The little bit extra is what separates average performers from CHAMPIONS!

In a sales process, the little bit extra is that one extra follow-up call, that extra sincere thank-you or the extra little bit of energy that you put into the presentation of your business. This will separate you from your competition. You can either go through the motions of your business or you can give that little bit extra in order to cement yourself in the mind of your potential customer. We all can relate to purchasing a product/service from someone who just gave you a little bit extra attention than their competitor did and THAT is the reason we bought from THEM!

When I personally coach someone, one of my key strategies is to move them to become champions in their field. One of the easiest ways is to show them the value of what a little extra eye contact with their prospects or customers brings. You need to look your prospect or customer directly in their eyes when you are presenting your business! This drives into them your confidence and conviction about what you and your product/service have to offer them. When I coach people, I tell them that the eye contact strategy alone will take them two steps ahead of their competition.

Remember, people will feed off your confidence from the look in your eyes. As you progress in your journey towards fulfilling your WHY, you need to constantly give that little extra! The true sign of a champion-to-be is just when it seems impossible for him/her to give that extra push; they dig deep down and give that little bit extra to fulfill their WHY! When I speak to groups, I train them to have the mindset of always giving a little bit more than their competitor. Over the long run, it will pay off big! A small improvement over a long period of time will produce outstanding results.

Now that you know the benefit of giving that little bit of extra effort, you need to ask yourself a question…”What can I do today and every day with a little more effort to move me to the champion level in my field?” You need to realize someone will be the champion in your chosen endeavor. Let me ask you a question, “Why not you?”

See you at the top!

Find your WHY and Fly!

John Di Lemme

.FindYourWhy.com

Most of us recognize faces. For example, did you ever hear anyone say, “Oh, I know your name, but I don’t recognize your face”? It’s the names we have trouble with. Since we do usually recognize faces, the thing to do is apply a system wherein the face tells us the name. That is basically what a good memory techniques accomplishes, if it is applied correctly.

The first problem is the name. Well, that one is easily solved - simply apply the “Substitute Word” system of memory. You won’t need it for many names that already have meaning - names like Hayes, Howe, Carpenter, Fox, Paige, Coyne, Paynter, Gold, or Knott immediately create pictures in your mind.

Other names may not have meaning, but will still remind you of something tangible. For example, the names Hudson, Jordan, and Shannon will probably make you think of a river, and the name Ruth might make you think of baseball. The vast majority of names, however, have no meaning at all. They are conglomerations of sound, just like a word in a foreign language. That’s where the Substitute Word system comes in.

Before we give you some examples, you should be aware of the fact that most people don’t really forget names. They just don’t remember them in the first place - often, they don’t really hear them in the first place. Just think back and remember the many times you’ve been introduced to someone, when all you heard was a mumble. There’s no way on earth to remember a mumble!

For some reason, people are usually embarrassed to simply say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear your name.” There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Since a person’s name is one of his most prized possessions, it’s flattering to make even the slightest fuss over it. Asking him to repeat it shows that you’re interested enough in him to want to be sure you get his name right.

Then there are those who don’t bother asking the person to repeat his name because they feel that they’ll probably never meet him again, so what difference does it make? Of course, they often do meet that person again - which is why half the world seems to address the other half as Darling, Buddy, Fella’, Mac, Champ, Honey, or Sweetheart. Not because “Honey” is so special to them, but because they don’t know who they’re talking to! Which is probably all right, because the chances are that “Honey” and “Buddy” don’t know who they’re talking to, either!

Anyway, if you would like to remember names and faces, there are three steps involved; the first step takes care of the name, the second takes care of the face, and the third locks the two of them together. What you have to do is associate the name to the face in some ridiculous way.

If you are as busy as most business people today, you don’t have much time to run from seminar to seminar, listening to personal development coaches. However, you still realize the benefits from using the information available from a personal development expert. With everyone being as busy as ever, there are now personal development online success options.

An online course on personal development is a great way to learn what you need to know, on your own time schedule. You can learn how to be as successful in life as you want to be. You can learn how to change you life, for the better. Of course, most people who want to take a personal development online success course are looking for a change. They may not want a huge change, but they may want to see more productivity and success in their business or life.

There are many things someone can learn from a personal development online success course including:

1) You can learn how to gain more self confidence in life and in business.

2) You can learn how to boost your own self esteem and the self esteem of those around you.

3) You can learn how to be successful without additional stress.

4) You can learn how to make your life happier and the lives of those around you happier as well.

When you sign up and take an online course in personal development, you will learn how to deal with anxiety in life and in business. Anxiety is often something that causes unproductive moments in life and in business. You will learn how to recognize your overall anxiety, control your overall anxiety, and avoid it for the future.

Those who teach personal development online success courses are trained extensively in the area. They are trained to help you explore your subconscious and find your talents. They can help direct you toward positive thinking and positive ways of dealing with life and business. Within the Law of Attraction, you will see more positive things come back at you if you put positive thinking out into the world.

What You Can Learn:

1) How to set and achieve goals in personal and business sceneries of life.

2) Learn how to profit even from failure.

3) Make a plan for personal growth.

4) Make a plan for business growth.

5) The power of positive thinking.

Whether you want to take on a personal development online success course to help yourself in your personal life or in your business life, you will be pleased with the things you can learn. These courses are designed to help you be more successful and to pass that positive success to others around you.

On a recent trip to a conference, I sat next to a woman on the plane who had missed her last connecting flight due to some airline delays. As a result, Margaret was going to miss a bike tour of the Napa Wine Valley, which she had already paid for. Needless to say, she wasn’t happy about it, as she would not get her payment back, nor have the fun experience she was looking forward to since she had business meetings scheduled the following day. She had fretted about it a great deal the night before. Today, however, she had let go, having realized that much worse things could happen.

While on the plane, she was reading a book about college loans. It turned out that the person sitting on her right was an expert on college loans and he consulted with her for about an hour on how to find the best college loan for her daughter.

I was sitting on her left and coached her around her business and gave her a good idea that could potentially make her a lot of money.

After having both of these conversations, she said, “I guess the universe did me a favor by putting me on this flight and here I was kicking and screaming about it last night.”

We put out in the universe what we need and it will do what it takes to give us that. Often it will come in a form that is totally unexpected and not at all like you would have planned.

If Margaret had not let go and allowed herself to be in acceptance about the situation, she might not have engaged in either conversation or learned so much in such a short time.

While the bike trip was not refundable, she got her return in the form of complimentary consulting and coaching that was probably worth more than the cost of the bike tour of the Napa Valley.

Where are things not going like you planned or wanted? Let go and be open to the universe bringing you something you desire in a form that was even better than you imagined.

It’s almost that time of year again &ndash New Year Resolutions! Millions of people around the world are vowing to lose weight, quit smoking, stick to a budget, and more. How many will actually follow through with these changes? Probably not many. Have you done this before? Have you made promises to yourself and not kept them? You are not alone. Why does it seem so easy to make changes in our lives, until we actually begin to do the work?

Change is hard. Most of us don’t stop to think about that when we set goals. We start out filled with passion, fire and excitement. We feel invincible and know we can accomplish whatever we desire. We see the glorious outcome of our desires shining before us, and we are determined to make it happen. Then we begin to encounter obstacles along the way. We may struggle halfheartedly through a few of them, but eventually we find ourselves making excuses, procrastinating and losing interest in those same goals we were so excited about before. What happened?

Goal setting involves much more than making a promise to do something. We need to equip ourselves with the right tools and mindset to ensure our success. There are several things we need to think about before we set goals:

Why? &ndash What is your reason for wanting this particular outcome? It’s lofty to want to lose weight or quit smoking, but if you don’t have a clear, strong reason for wanting to do so, you will have no passion to fuel your efforts. What will you gain by making these changes in your life? What will you gain by not making changes? Oh yes, you are gaining something by keeping your bad habits around, or else you would have gotten rid of them long before now. Understand that, and acknowledge it. Be honest with yourself. Be clear about what you really want. Let’s say you want to quit smoking because you want to live a healthier life. Why? What will that do for you? It will improve your quality of life. Okay, why is that important to you? Keep asking yourself “why”, until you get to the “meat” of your desire. Be sure you understand exactly why these goals are important to you, and write it down. You will want to read it over and over again, especially when you feel your resolve crumbling.

Action Goals vs. Results Goals &ndash Most of us make the mistake of setting results-oriented goals, rather than action goals. This is an important distinction. Setting a goal to lose thirty pounds is not a goal at all. It is an outcome. The goal should be to exercise and eat right &ndash which will result in the loss of weight. We need to treat the problem, not the symptom. Make a note of the outcome you want, and then make a list of the actions that will get you there. Then make the actions your goal. Be specific. Rather than setting a goal to “lose weight”, decide how, when, how often, and for how long you will exercise each day. Decide what foods you will eat (or not eat), and how much of them. Set realistic and specific daily goals, and reward yourself when you accomplish them. Each day is an opportunity for victory.

Believe You Deserve It &ndash Many of us struggle with low self-esteem, and feel we don’t really deserve success. Unfortunately, if we don’t believe we deserve it, we will resist it when it arrives. We may do this unconsciously by sabotaging our own efforts, or we may outright refuse to even try. We must first understand and then truly believe that we do deserve success and happiness. In addition, we must be consciously open to receiving it. We’re so good at giving to others, but many of us won’t accept help or blessings for ourselves. Be willing to believe that you deserve to be successful and happy. Then be willing to accept that success when it arrives. Give yourself the gift of better health, inner peace, more organization, a better job &ndash whatever you are striving for in setting your goals. Affirm aloud to the universe each day, “I joyfully accept all of the abundance and success the universe has for me, NOW.” Remember that the more abundance you have, the more you will be able to help others also.

Commitment &ndash One of the greatest secrets of success is simply not giving up. When we look at successful people, they seem to have it so easy. What we usually don’t see are the years of hard work, dedication and commitment that got them to where they are today. Many of them struggled through massive obstacles and setbacks, sometimes having to start all over again repeatedly. Are you that committed to your goals? Will you persevere no matter what? Make a promise to yourself that you will continue working toward your goals, even if you aren’t seeing the progress you hoped for. Be willing to work hard and continue working hard, even when &ndash especially when &ndash the going gets rough. When obstacles arise, fuel your persistence with positive thoughts and keep moving forward. Let your determination glow hot and bright, and burn away all doubts and fears. Don’t beat yourself up if you make mistakes, simply get up and begin moving forward again.

Patience - Forming new habits takes time and practice. The good news is that countless people have proven it can be done. If they can do it, you can do it too. Give it your best effort, but don’t expect perfection from yourself. You may stumble and fall; you may grow weary of the battle. However, remember that anything worthwhile takes effort. Your goals and dreams are worth fighting for, no matter how fierce the battle, no matter how long it takes.

Most importantly, believe in yourself. Believe that you have the skills, ability and determination to make your dreams come true. That, above all else, will guarantee your success.