My Essay Blog

I have just returned from my twelve year old step-daughters parents evening. It was an interesting hour and I believe my daughter has learnt quite a lot from the experience. The teachers gave her some important life coaching advice which I will write about in this article.

My step-daughters name is Taryn and she is basically a very bright and well behaved child. One of her faults however is that she just does enough, she is not naughty at school but does not give one hundred percent to her studies.

Before we attended the parents evening we had the opportunity to read her school report. Taryn thought this report was very good as she was above average in her year, this was certainly borne out in her recent examination results. What annoyed both me and her mother was the regular comments that Taryn does not ask enough questions, that she does not contribute enough in classroom discussions and that her homework seems rushed.

We were also aware that even though the exam results were good, that they could have been even better as she did not do any revision. We told her that even though she was above average that we were not happy with some of the comments made which suggested that she could and should have done even better. Taryn was not happy by this and had quite a big strop thinking that we were just being cruel.

Taryn loves to play sport and has been a regular in the netball and athletic teams. The first teacher she took us to see was her sports teacher who Taryn assumed would be very happy with her. This teacher first asked how we as her parents thought Taryn was getting on, in general at school. We voiced our concerns and the teacher agreed as she had read the whole report and was also not that pleased with it. She looked at Taryn and told her that in sport she always gave one hundred percent and asked her why she did not have the same attitude in Maths and English. Taryn did not know what to say and seemed quite shocked. The teacher stated that even though sport is important, the other subjects should come first and that if she did not see a marked improvement over the next few months, that she would drop her from the netball and athletics team.

Next was the English teacher. He told all of us that Taryn was very clever but that she needed to take more of a pride in her work. She needs to check what she has completed before she hands it in, as the only real errors she makes are just silly mistakes.

He believed that even though Taryn was in the top thirty percent that she should be in the top ten percent.

All of the teachers we met gave Taryn the same message. Do not accept second best, always give one hundred percent, spend less time on the computer and more time reading and revising.

By the end of the evening poor old Taryn looked shell shocked. She now understands what to do and certainly does not want to be kicked out of the sports teams.

I was more than pleased with the schools attitude and believe that Taryn has been given some important life coaching advice.

Many people really love the thought of taking the chance and living in a foreign country. It sounds so dreamy and romantic. But the reality for many expats is that very shortly after arrival in their new home, they find that there are often harsh realities to face about living abroad. Dreamy visions of spending the days picking tropical fruits, lazing on the beach, growing a lush garden and leisurely wandering through the market places can be replaced with realities such as no hot water, dirt roads, electricity shortages, no English or very little among many other factors. Ones’ hopes of getting online as soon as you arrive could be quickly dashed. How frustrating it is when you pop down to the local store for some needed necessities and you are met with a sign that reads, “Open Mon, Wed and Fri”. The fact is that daily life abroad can be quite tough initially. Stress can take its charge both physically and emotionally.

Yes, this may sound quite depressing, but don’t let it get you down. If you have your “toolbox” packed, the living abroad experience can be the best time of your life. In fact it could change your life as a whole for the better. The key to this outcome is finding a way to manage your day-to-day life. As an expatriate you need to find ways to free yourself of the difficulties you will inevitably encounter and thrive no matter what the conditions or perceived obstacles are.

The “toolbox” carries the following concepts which when applied will help to make your living abroad experience an adventure and not a disaster.

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Adjust: Firstly we need to learn how to adjust. Adapt yourself to your new surroundings and the new way of life. Discover the culture for yourself. Accustom, reconcile and reorganize your life to fit in with your new surroundings.

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Flexible: Always be flexible. Different countries perform functions and activities in different ways and at a different pace. Flexibility and understanding will save you a lot of stress and you will get along so much better.

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Observe: Pay attention and observe! This is crucial to making it in a new land. Read up and become knowledgeable on your subject. Cultural books and tourist guides very often hold important information on a new culture, but I have to say that some of the best ways to learn are by observing firsthand. Watch how people greet one another. Make note of what is considered as appropriate behavior and what is not. This applies to language too. Keep your eyes open at all times.

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Attitude: Be part of the solution and not part of the problem. Find ways to do things. Have a positive and active attitude. I believe that attitude accounts for the success or failure of most things in life, including living abroad. Attitude will make the difference between a happy or disgruntled expat.

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Experience: Find ways to get involved. Do not be an observer of your experience. Be the experience! Take full advantage of all the new and wonderful activities and opportunities to learn new things. Try the new foods, go exploring, sign up for Spanish classes or join the taekwondo club.

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Support: Find people who are in a similar situation to you. Form a group and support each other. Once the honeymoon phase and excitement of moving to a new country passes and the realities of living abroad set in you will need people who you can count on to help you make this a truly memorable experience.

Quote of the week

“Success is simple. Do what’s right, the right way, at the right time.” Arnold H. Glasgow.

Powerful action plan for the week

How would your life be different if you applied the concepts of the toolbox to your to your life everyday? Try it for one week and make note of the outcome.

You’ve heard about several memory enhancing techniques. Linking and associating, creating a story out of several items you need to remember. There are in fact, many ways how you can remember important information such as numbers, events, errands and names. The challenge is how to make all the information easy to retrieve, out of the top of your head in a random situation.

Memory techniques work on anything that you like to master. There are things you may need to work on in memorizing something for the first time but all information has techniques on how they can all be memorized. It just takes a lot of interest and enthusiasm to be able to absorb all the information we want to understand and remember.

Creating an absurd and outrageous story from a list of non-related items will do well enough to stick in your head. What else is that it stays there in your memory the way the story is created, the chronological order and even the positioning of the character! The fun part about this technique is that there’s no limit to how you want to create the story and the sillier it is; the easier for you to remember it and the keywords that comprise it.

Now you’ll say what if you need to memorize an entire chapter of items and information; surely you can’t create a novel out of this. True. But in fact, what you can do to get around this problem is to break down all the information you need to remember. Try to put the related or similar items in one cluster and name it. Do the same with the rest. You can also create acronyms out of the clusters you have made and then, create a silly story using the acronyms or the cluster of words you’ve created.

Once you have this ready, you can then associate mental images with the story and each key word you’ve made. It has been proven that the imagination, especially when there’s clear images associated with it work efficiently &ndash efficient enough to be remembered.

Following these techniques for the first time may come a bit slower and difficult but practicing them can gradually increase your expertise over any memorization tasks. You can learn more important details regarding memorization improvement techniques at memory-improvement-techniques.com.

What does it take to have a great RC car race? I give you one word &ndash practice. Of course, there are other factors (such as equipment, overall set up) which contribute to a racer’s victory or loss but it all boils down to a good practice run.

Go ahead and check other reading materials focused on RC related topics. You’d realize that practice does make a difference to how your RC car performs during the actual competition.

When you get to the venue, you can start practicing (that is if you have already signed up for the registration) on the track. Don’t get too excited though, your first practice run should be all about getting the feeling of the track, familiarizing it which means there’s no need to go running on top speed just yet. Learn how the track is laid out and master it if you can. Also, during this time, use an old and worn battery pack since running the track for the first time isn’t going to be pleasing at all.

On your next run, focus on your car and how you can best handle it. During your second run, try to see or feel anything that you think isn’t going to work out for you on the actual race. If everything seems to work okay don’t change any of your settings. After completing this run, you’re ready to go on your last and final run for practice. This time though, you need to shift your focus from all the other elements on the track to just your car and nothing else.

You have to realize that by this time, you can make any last adjustments you desire but then, don’t attempt in doing so if you’re not comfortable with it. To make sure that your settings is going to work accordingly, try to setup your car to the nearest setup ideal for the track. Though you may not set it up accurately, (since there’s no such thing as perfect) you’d at least get it working efficiently on the track during the race.

Each day I will take care of myself, but today I will think just of this day. When I wake up I will think of the work I hope to get done to make my life better, but I will also think of things I can look forward to and enjoy in this day. I will plan at least one treat-time for myself, perhaps an hour to read a good novel, or making a phone call to a loved one, or spending time in the garden putting in flowers. I know that when I take good care of myself, physically and emotionally, that I am being kind to one of God’s loved ones.

Today I will look after my health beginning from the first moments of the day. I will take time for a healthy breakfast, because I know this sets the pattern for my eating in a healthy way throughout the day. I will take a moment to plan lunch and supper, so I do not make unhealthy choices when I am over- hungry and rushed. I will also plan some exercise for myself that is just right for my present level of fitness. I will love myself for who I am right now. Perhaps I will go for a half hour walk so I can also enjoy the outdoors. Tonight I will relax before bed and give myself enough sleep for the next day.

Today I will do my best to speak kindly and encouragingly to myself as well as others. Just as with everyone else in this world, I need this kindness to be at my best. I accept myself as I am because I know I am a good person, sincere, and I make an effort. If I make mistakes or can’t get everything done, I will forgive myself easily and try again tomorrow. I will praise myself for everything I do well, and everything I try to do. I know that it is encouragement that will help me to grow as a person and be my best.

This day I will protect myself from harm. I will not cause harm to myself by treating myself badly or being harsh and judgmental. I will not let others do that to me, either. I will protect myself from influences that make me feel bad about myself or discouraged or depressed.

At the end of this day I will give myself credit for a job well done. This day I did my best, whatever that was. Each day I practice taking care of myself, I will get better at it, so each day I practice, I am getting better. I will think of those things I enjoyed today and things I did well, and look forward to a new day tomorrow. I will remember the love my loved ones have for me, that I have for me, and that God has for me. Today I will make my life better. Today, I will spread peace and love in this world. Today, I will speak my heart and for my soul.

LIFE IS A JOURNEY…

We have to go through many stations to reach the final destination.

Reaching each station is also important, as with the reaching of each station we are closer to our target.

When we talk about time management we should keep both short term goals and long term goals in mind.

If you are focusing only on the big goal while making a time management scheme, then you better sit down and review your time management scheme, plans and actions.

GO STEP BY STEP

You need to be logical and analyze each and every step needed to achieve you goal. Each and every step then should be defined and timed realistically.

Ideally, the steps or short-term goals should be broken into as many small steps or sub-goals as possible, needed to achieve the short-term goal. This will make your goals very clear and at the same time will make achieving your long-term goal seem reachable.

PASSION+DETERMINATION=SUCCESS

To get to your ultimate goal you need to strive everyday. There may be times when you would feel that you are going to fail but if you have the determination and the passion - just keep going on. Stand firmly on what you believe in, keep achieving your short goals and you will find that the target is right in front of you. Just a few more determined steps and you would be able to smell the sweet smell of success.

TAKE A BREAK OF PURPOSE

Its not that you cannot stop in the middle of it and take a break. You can take a break but make sure that this is a purposeful break and that after this you would be able to be on track with a renewed zeal.

TRICKY BUT SIMPLE !!

Time management may be tricky but if the target is always in your mind and your focus is on the road leading to it, then your task is simple- just follow your mind.

While laying out your plans, you need to visualize each and every aspect, envisaging any hurdles, which could delay or derail your progress.

Now that you know your goal requirements and that you have taken care of all aspects and anticipated obstacles, let the journey begin with your eyes on the final objective.

THE ‘C’ FACTOR

When you are planning to be a leader in your business category, then apart from achieving other goals like finance, marketing, distribution etc., there is one important factor to be considered is Competition. This one factor alone can topple all your plans.

Competition will affect all your plans and has to be considered, in order to make you time management plan successful. You need to be alert and be in touch with the things going around. Your plans also need to adept according to the market situation. Due to competition, the final price may go lower and now your plan should be robust enough to withstand the sudden fall in your margin.

FUTURE-PROOF PLANNING

You need to consider the increase in the cost of all inputs as well as the possibility of selling your final product at lower margins to stay in the competition.

Your plans have to be realistic and should have considered the future increase in overheads of your business as well as increase of your family expenses.

YOU ARE THE POINT-OF-VIEW

When you are defining and scheduling your goals, you need to define them from your perspective i.e. keeping your abilities and skills in your mind.

If you or any of your staff have to undergo any skill or education enhancement to fulfill your aim, this will increase your expenses. This will also have a bearing on time. All this have to be accounted for in your business plan sketch. All this will be compensated by increase in productivity and you would be well on the road to victory.

So remember without conquering smaller hills and mountains a Mount Everest expedition can not be accomplished successfully.

“You’re invited…” are always welcome words to hear− whether it’s to a barbeque, birthday party, cocktail party, graduation, housewarming, girls’ night out or other special event. However, most people think planning a successful party takes a lot of time and effort. Not true, according to Evite, the leading social event- planning service on the Web.

“By following simple party- planning rules, you can plan a fabulous bash in very little time,” said Jessica Landy Raymond, a planning expert for Evite. “Your guests will be so impressed, they’ll think you hired a pro!”

Organization is essential for seamlessly planning a great social event. Evite has helped millions of hosts plan successful events and offers these tips to take the hassle out of party planning:

1. Choose an event theme-A good theme ensures that guests interact with one another. A great theme-such as a barbecue luau, beach party, ’70s-inspired disco, masquerade ball or poker night- will make your party unforgettable.

2. Create an event checklist-Be sure everything gets done on time with a comprehensive to-do list that includes everything from determining an overall budget and selecting an event date to choosing the perfect venue and making a guest list. For tips and sample checklists, check out Evite’s Party Checklist.

3. Bring the theme to life-Pull all the pieces of the party together neatly by selecting invitations, decorations, activities and music that complement your theme.

4. Plan the food and beverage menu-The event theme should inspire your menu and beverages. Make sure you have enough food and drink for your guests by consulting recipes and drink calculators during the planning process. For help, try Evite’s Drink Calculator and Party Menus & Recipes

5. Relax and enjoy the event!-Remember, the number-one party-planning tip is to not stress about any little things that go wrong. Everyone is there for a good time, and the host should be, too!

Tapping into online party-planning resources is a simple and easy way to fulfill all your planning “to dos.”

Your dream characters are great sources for insights about you and your life and it can be lots of fun meeting and getting to know them. By the end of this article, you will have a better idea of why we dream about particular people, even those we never give any thought to, such as your Aunt Betty, or that seldom seen neighbor down the street.

Dream characters in general, are like actors in a play, each one portraying a different part of yourself. They are performing roles to share information about you and the current events going on in your life. These characters will include animals as well.

The first step in meeting your dream characters is to get your dream down on paper. It is very important that you do this on your own. There really isn’t any other person or dream dictionary around that is going to be able to relate to them as well as you can.

Once you’ve written down your dream, list any characters that appeared whether you knew them by name or not. Think about what the character was doing and what the aspect being portrayed might be. If you do know the character personally, then chances are they represent something you equate them with in waking life.

Here’s an example: I dream about my Dad every now and then, and in the dream he is usually talking or making gestures to a group of people. In life, my Dad was a minister and I’ve heard him give hundreds of sermons. He was an excellent public speaker and I was always impressed with his ability to convey ideas with simple clarity. So as a dream character, he represents the aspect of ‘clarity’ or ‘becoming clear about something’.

What about someone that you know, but don’t really associate with, or even think about? This could be your seldom seen neighbor, or that Aunt Betty I mentioned earlier. Write down what your impression is of this person. This will give you a clue as to what you were probably connecting with in your dream.

Now, what about the characters that you don’t know? Pay close attention to their appearance and what their actions are.

Here’s one example for you: I dreamed I was sitting and chatting with an older woman dressed in matronly-looking clothes. She was speaking gibberish, but somehow I understood what she was saying. When the dream was over and I was writing it down (I won’t bore you with the details), it came to me that she was simply a translator aspect between my subconscious and my conscious self. This character was my way of getting some particular information across.

Of course, there will be dreams where the person you are dreaming about is really about that person. Chances are you have a concern, or a desire about your relationship with this person and your dream is giving you information about it. The dream content should give you a clue as to whether the character is really an aspect of you or not.

What about animals? For me, animals tend to portray feelings or a quality equated with a particular animal. For instance, I view cats as being curious, playful, independent and graceful. When a cat appears in my dream, it’s generally depicting one of those characteristics. A cat for you might mean something else entirely!

If you get stuck and can’t come up with a good purpose for your characters, go back into your dream through meditation and simply ask them!

~Sweet Dreams ~

What Is Personal Development?

Personal development used to be a course taught at business and vocational schools around the United States.

It was long since held that self-improvement was an essential aspect of succeeding in a more and more competitive marketplace that left little room for those who would not be able to pull their own weight &ndash usually because of self image problems.

Personal growth was considered to be the antidote to the possibility of failure very often experienced by job changers, vocation changers, and those who might embark on a new career at a more advanced age than most of their competitors in the marketplace.

Personal development was said to be effective in combining an individual’s innate wish for success with a change in the person’s mode of viewing her - or himself and also the way the person is portraying her - or himself to others.

NLP - neuro-linguistic programming &ndash is one of the favored tools of the personal development movement. Since it offers a wide variety of tools and techniques, this application itself promises success simply because of its superior adaptability to the needs of the person seeking personal development.

For example, for those will simply performance anxiety problems, a large number of exercises will make an accomplished introvert out of a phobic introvert who is sent into stammering or excessive sweating bits at the prospect of speaking in front of a crowd.

For the person suffering from extreme anxiety the idea of meditation &ndash well within the framework of NLP &ndash will quite often yield amazing results.

While traditionalists might scoff at the idea of personal development simply because it is such a subjective exercise, it is noteworthy that many people sear by it and attribute their business success to lessons learned and exercises attempted during a personal development seminar.

Perhaps the most important aspect to remember when discussing personal development is the fact that it seeks to capitalize on a person’s good intentions.

These intentions may be the wish to succeed in business the innate need to be useful, or maybe just the wish to further the role of leadership a person has taken within a corporation or business.

The goal is to draw out the good intentions and turn them into marketable objectives which the client will be able to realize and develop further, so as to ensure that her or his confidence will grow enough to pursue the next level of professional development.

For those who are gifted with a go-get-it attitude, this need may be hard to understand, but suffice it to say that in a world where corporate success is hard won, and abilities have to be proven time and again, those who may suffer from a lack of self esteem have often found themselves relegated to the sidelines.

If this is you, it is also important to understand that you do not have to be on the sidelines, but that you have everything it takes to make it up the ladder of success!

Author Charles Williams: For more information on Motivation and Self Improvement visit: .lsft.org

For the most part, we are all conformists. We will do what the crowd does. We might not like to admit that, but it is true. Only 5 to 10 percent of the population engages in behavior contrary to the social norm.

We see this law operating in groups, in organizations, in meetings, and in day-to-day public life. In all of these circumstances, there is a certain standard or norm. In churches, the moral code determines the standard behavior acceptable for the group. In organizations, the bylaws and years of tradition establish a standard operating procedure. Because we want to fit into these groups and maintain our membership with them, we conform our actions to the norm.

We seek to find out what others are doing as a way of validating our own actions. This method is how we decide what constitutes “correct” behavior. We see the behavior as more correct when we see others doing it. The more people do it, the more correct it becomes. Professor Kirk Hansen of the Stanford Business School demonstrated this when he boosted downloads for best-selling files on the Web by downloading those files over and over himself so the counter was artificially high. He and his team then observed that these boosted downloaded files were downloaded even more frequently. The high number on the counter indicated popularity, and people were most interested in downloading the files that were already ranked the highest. Whether the question is what to do with an empty can of soda at the park, how fast to drive in the city, or how to eat the soup at a restaurant, the validation of others give us our answers and therefore guides our actions.

We feel validation when we see others do what we want to do. We learned early in life that we make fewer mistakes when we follow the social norm. There are two types of norms: explicit and implicit. Explicit norms are openly spoken or written. For example, road signs, employee manuals, or game rules are all examples of explicit norms. Implicit norms are not usually stated openly. For example, you usually don’t have to be directed to say hello or to smile when you see someone, but you do it anyway. Or, somehow you know better than to put your feet up on the dinner table when you’re a guest in someone’s home, even though your host most likely will not request that you refrain from doing so.

If we don’t know the norm, we look around and find it. The Law of Social Validation becomes a way to save time and energy in figuring out what is correct. We use others’ behavior to guide our own actions, to validate what we should or should not do. We don’t always have to look at the positive and the negative in every situation. This automatic trigger saves us from thinking. We compare what we do against the standard of what everyone else is doing. If we find a discrepancy between what we observe and what we do, we tend to make changes in the direction of the social norm.

Social validation compels us to change our behaviors, our attitudes, and our actions, even when what we observe doesn’t really match our true feelings, style, and thoughts. We go against our better judgment because we want to be liked, accepted, and found in agreement with everyone else. When we are part of a crowd, we “no longer feel individually responsible for our emotions or actions. We can allow ourselves to shout, sing, cry, or strike without temperament imposed by personal accountability.”

We seek out social norms to help us know what we should be feeling or doing. For the most part, this is not a conscious process. We subconsciously accept many ways of behaving that are determined by our surroundings and the actions of others, such as raising our hands to speak in class, tipping in a restaurant, or how we behave at a concert. When we become part of a group, our once divergent emotions and feelings tend to converge.

When we find ourselves in a foreign situation where we feel awkward or unsure of how to act, we look for those social cues that will dictate our behavior. This could be at a party, during freshman orientation, or even while attending a family gathering. When the social information we are seeking is at all ambiguous, we don’t know how to respond and thus continue seeking out social clues. Imagine if you were sitting in the movie theater enjoying your show when somebody shouted, “FIRE!” Do you think you would jump up and run for it? Well, if everyone else did, you would, too. If everyone remained seated, you would remain seated also.