My Essay Blog

Have you set goals for yourself only to fail to achieve them?

You need to follow sound goal setting techniques if you want to achieve your dreams. These techniques may be based on your own understanding of various issues, or on advice given by your parents, professional counselors, and seniors. But, no matter where they come from, they can make a big difference between success and failure.

The first thing you need to do is write down your goals. Remember that until a goal is committed to paper, it is not a goal; it is simply a desire. You also need to write down the benefits that you hope to achieve.

The next step is to pick a deadline and determine your current state of preparedness to achieve the goal. You should also identify which problems you are likely to face. This will make you mentally ready to conquer them.

You need to often review your course of action. This gives you a chance to change your goals based on your revised circumstances and needs. It is also good to surround yourself with people who are positive about your approach and who will cheer you on. Keep away from those who belittle you all the time. They can do more harm than good by trying to dissuade you from achieving your goals.

Your goals must arise out of your belief in your capabilities. This is very important, because no goal can be achieved that is not based on self-confidence. Motivation is another important psychological factor. In fact, motivation and goal setting are like two sides of the same coin. Your goal cannot be achieved without both of them.

Finally, all your goals should have several short-term targets and a long-term target. The short-term targets (or sub-goals) should have deadlines, and should merge with each other in seamlessly. You should review your goals periodically and modify them when and if your needs and circumstances change. These techniques are the best way to set and achieve goals.

Have you ever thought about what really creates self-esteem? Having a deep sense of inner worth is important to all of us, but many people have some false beliefs about what creates confidence in our own merit as individuals.

Some of the common false beliefs regarding what creates self-esteem are:

* I will feel good about my self when I’m making $______(fill in the amount) a year.

* I will feel worthy when I am in a relationship with a (beautiful) (handsome) (wealthy) (loving) (fill in own) person.

* I will feel worthy when I get enough approval from enough people.

* I will feel adequate when I have a baby.

* I will feel adequate when_______( fill in desired outcome that you attach to your sense of worth).

However, there are many people who have all of the above and still do not feel a deep sense of self-esteem. That’s because self-esteem has nothing to do with anything external, such as looks, approval, money, relationships with others, or having a baby.

Self-esteem, or the lack of it, is solely the result of how we treat ourselves. Those people who attend to their own feelings and needs with loving action on their own behalf feel good about themselves, while those people who ignore, invalidate, or judge their own feelings and needs feel badly about themselves.

For example, Anna grew up with parents who were hardworking and very caring about their children, but who didn’t take good care of themselves. Both of her parents smoked, drank too much, and didn’t eat well. Neither of them took responsibility for their own feelings, so both of them were anxious or depressed much of the time. Even though her parents were loving to her, Anna does not take good care of herself, having had no role modeling for personal responsibility, She doesn’t eat well or get enough exercise, doesn’t stand up for herself at home or at work, and doesn’t get enough rest or playtime. She is very attractive, makes lots of money, has a husband and children, yet often feels very insecure.

If you imagine that her feelings and needs are like a child within, you can begin to see why she doesn’t feel good about herself. Treating herself badly will always result in feeling badly. You might be tempted to think that she treats herself badly because she doesn’t feel good about herself, and that’s true, but she will not feel good about herself until she treats herself as a worthwhile person. Her good feelings will come from her loving action toward herself. The more loving action she is willing to take on her own behalf &ndash taking physical, emotional, financial, organizational, relationship, and spiritual responsibility &ndash the better she will feel about herself.

How can Anna be motivated to take loving care of herself when she doesn’t feel good about herself? It seems like a vicious circle, yet there is a way out. Anna doesn’t feel motivated to take care of herself because she thinks that who she is, is her ego, the wounded part of herself whom she doesn’t like. Yet if Anna opens to knowing who she really is - that she beautiful and perfect child of God, that her essence, her true Self is a spark of God, created in the image of God - she will want to take loving care of this wonderful soul within.

When Anna begins to take loving care of herself, her wounded self &ndash the part of herself that has low self-esteem &ndash begins to heal. The more Anna feeds herself well, gets enough exercise and rest, speaks up for herself and tells her truth, takes care of her financial situation, organizes her time and environment, treats others with kindness and compassion, and opens to her spiritual Guidance or Higher Power, the better she will feel about herself. Self-esteem is the result of taking loving action, not the cause of it. Since we all have free will, we each have the choice to take loving action on our own behalf.

It doesn’t matter how badly you were treated as a child, or how badly your parents treated themselves. Your actions need never be governed by your past. If you devote yourself, moment-by-moment, to taking loving action on our own behalf, you will discover that the result is high self-esteem.

A general view of the verb snoring is that it’s simply another person, usually men, lying in bed, absorbed in sleep. Snoring is either caused by minor disturbances occurring to a person sleeping or a dangerous health situation called Sleep Apnea.

This nightly problem, at most to the next person sleeping beside the snorer, is caused by the air movement on the respiratory parts that causes it to vibrate during sleep. The affected areas of the respiratory system are the uvula and the soft palate. The reason? There isn’t enough air flowing in and out of these parts of the body due to blockage.

Common reasons of air blockage are topped by allergies, too weak throat (which closes when the person is sleeping), muscles in the area of the jaw are not well-positioned due to tension, fats accumulating around the throat and lastly, the blockage on the nasal area. Most people who have not taken serious considerations on what snoring can do may be in for a serious health problem condition later on. To make matters worse, as a person ages, susceptibility to snoring increases as well.

The solution to snoring varies from simple self-voluntary practices to risky surgeries. The bottom line in getting rid of this problem is the clearing of anything that causes blockage on the affected area. So for people who are overweight, snoring is another problem other than heart ailments. Mainly because the fats crowd the air passages in the body which causes irregular air flow. Another suggestion is to stop smoking which is the main culprit in weakening the throat. A weak throat also clogs the passage way for air.

However, if these simple treatments aren’t too appealing, there are more intense types of treatment which can also become intensively painful and expensive. Dental appliances that adjust the lower jaw for better breathing are available but surgery is as well. But then, surgery could develop relative damage to the throat later on and can just make matters worse.

If your loved one(s) has been snoring for a long time now, it’s better to start with natural and simple treatment than wait for the worst case scenario to happen. Snoring isn’t just annoying during sleep, it could also be dangerous.

Most of us, if not all of us have felt nervous at one time or another in our lives. Public speaking is something that makes most of us nervous. All those eyes staring straight at us. That’s a lot of attention thrust our way. We feel the butterflies take flight, and they usually don’t land until we’re done with our speech. Aren’t we glad we’re done! Nerves and other feelings like feeling scared are natural and very necessary. Ever wonder how you’d react or what would happen to you if you didn’t react to a dog running at you? How about beginning to crossing the road only to hear the roar of a car’s engine in your left ear. Run! Definitely run!

For some of us, these feelings are all to familiar and often they occur more frequently and triggered by situations that are less fear-provoking than those, and others like it, mentioned above. I’ve felt that rush of adrenaline pumping through my heart as I turned into the street the underground station is on and the view of it made my heart beat a thousand to every second. I’d be gripped by the thought of seeing my desk, or my boss, which I knew was coming sooner than I wanted. They’d find out soon enough: I’m just average. Nothing special here. I’d spend the entire journey on the underground screaming inside myself. Looking at the other passengers, silently screaming ‘Have you all gone completely mad!?’. Completely and utterly unable to understand why anyone would not see it my way. This is my anxiety. What’s yours?

An irrational fear is a good way of describing it. Admittedly, I was in the middle of a breakdown that eventually pressed the Pause button on my life for a few years after. But this a good example of anxiety. Irrational fear that gets in the way of leading a normal life: that’s anxiety.

I learnt a lot about anxiety in the months that followed. It was all new to me. The education, certainly not the feelings and symptoms. Often, it left me speechless and bewildered. All those symptoms and I didn’t have a clue. But what are those symptoms? Well, thinking that everything will result in the worst possible outcome is the most upsetting symptom (for myself at least). You are mentally consumed with it. It breaks your concentration, erases your short-term memory and strips your patience down to almost nothing. It can stop you from falling asleep. Sleep anxiety was something I didn’t recognise. I simply thought I had developed insomnia on top of all my other problems. The more the merrier? Not quite. I had become severely depressed and obsessional. Two more symptoms associated with anxiety.

All these mental or cognitive symptoms affect our body function. I’d feel like I was losing my breath, no matter how hard I tried to relax or perform deep-breathing exercises. If I thought about it, which of course I did, my heart would start to race and the adrenaline would flow through me. You can completely lose your appetite, feel the need to constantly urinate, develop headaches more often and for me, the dizziness was unbearable. I thought I had low blood pressure. My doctor thought I may have a problem with my heart. Going for an ECG will scare the life out of you, if nothing else. Pins and needles are also symptoms of anxiety. I used to get them in my upper arms which would scream ‘Heart Attack!’ to me, but somehow I would push that thought away.’

We don’t all develop the same symptoms and it is quite rare that someone would present with all the symptoms as a textbook case. Some of the symptoms I didn’t develop were muscle aches and tremors, excessive thirst and stomach upsets. Women can develop painful periods or even none at all. We can all lose response to sexual stimulation too.

If you think you suffer from anxiety and feel it is getting in the way of you leading a normal life from day to day, please consult your doctor or other physician. Help is at hand, and good Cognitive Behaviour Therapy can be very effective in relieving the mental stresses that take over our minds when anxiety strikes.

Time management is a way for people to design as well as activate their time with maximum efficiency. When you become more proficient with time management, you will be able to accomplish daily tasks with ease and you will feel better about yourself. Time management static noise and trouble normatively arise not only considering you have too much to do, but rather, resulting from the way you manage your time. The modern life offers a lot of distractions out there that make possible you to divert your attention to odds and ends that are more fun to do.

You can find many advantages to managing your own time. You can actually gain time, lower avoidance, eliminate cramming as well as reduce your anxiety. So as to manage your time successfully, having an awareness of what your goals are will assist you when it plays a part in prioritizing your activities.

The central thing about it is that there are steps that can be taken to organize your life and handle it more effectively. You can kick off by creating a schedule or a task list. Be sure to include deadlines that the tasks must be completed by. Be sure to accurately allot enough time for each job or incident. You will need to consider as well as invite things such as driving time, set, breaks etc.

When faced with burdensome tasks and challenges you should try as well as make sure you make those once you are greatest alert. If you will improve and upgrade your attention as well as alertness levels, you are able to focus your attention more expressly, therefore making it easier to accomplish the operation.

You should think about creating time that is exclusively your own. Formulate the alarm, so that you get up a half an hour earlier or go to bed a half-hour later than ordinary. Involve when you are thinking about your schedule alone time with your spouse or friends.

Prioritize what you need to accomplish during the day. Focus your attention on the operation or events with the superior rewards. If you see odds and ends getting done, you will feel better about yourself, leaving you to do more.

Taking on more than you have time for can put a principal damper on your time management as well as leave you feeling drained. You should put a lot of effort in learning how to refuse and saying “no”. If you know that you do not have the extra time, do not volunteer for an additional committee. Sometimes, throughout your life, you will need to turn down invitations to events that you do not have enough time to attend.

It is a know fact that we all suffer from procrastination. If you are able to overcome procrastination, managing your time will turn into much easier. The entier team of people is familiar with the lifelong saying, “don’t put off till tomorrow, what we can do in these days”.

Although it is easy to get into a rut as well as slack off from daily tasks, there is hope. You can manage your time as well as accomplish the things you want, with little effort. Just be sure to follow the simple steps to time management as well as remember to take it one day at a time.

If you’re just learning about the Law of Attraction and wondering where to start, or if you’re not seeing results and want to start over, I’d like to share a few tips on what I believe to be the best ways to get started:

1) Choosing more positive thoughts.

Negative thinking is very much a habit, and it’s one that has the power to control your life in frightening ways! Before you can change your outer circumstances, you need to learn how to choose better thoughts. Take a moment right now and consider the general direction of your thoughts overall. Do you consistently focus on the negative? Are you stressed much of the time? Do you live in a constant state of anxiety and frustration?

Begin turning that around immediately. You won’t be able to change it overnight, but you can gradually adopt a more positive thought habit. When you’re about to do something challenging, say aloud, “I know this will be a piece of cake!” Or when you’re waiting on some news, affirm over and over that it will work out in your favor. It will take effort on your part to CHOOSE more positive expectations, and you probably won’t believe the things you’re saying - not at first. But if you keep at it daily, little by little you’ll notice optimism becoming your new habit.

2) “Flow” positive emotions as often as possible!

Emotion is absolutely one of the most powerful weapons you have in your arsenal against struggle and lack because EMOTION IS ENERGY! Whatever emotions you are feeling at a given moment is exactly the quality of energy you are emitting to the universe. Feel negative emotions, transmit a negative signal. Feel positive emotions, transmit a positive signal. Those signals are what attract your experiences!

To improve the quality of your signal, begin doing what I call “energy sessions” each day. Find a quiet place to sit or lie down, and bring to mind something that you want. Imagine that you already have it and let your emotions rise higher and higher and higher! Feel WONDERFUL about this thing you have, and let feelings of joy, happiness, gratitude and contentment flow through your body. Get the feelings as strong as you possibly can, until you’re nearly weeping with joy! Believe it or not, just a few minutes of this activity daily can bring about positive changes so quickly it will take your breath away.

3) BE what you’re trying to attract.

Finally, there is another super-duper-powerful technique that can create changes FAST. And that is BEING the person who already has what you want to attract. Let’s use an example: Imagine that you’re trying to attract more money into your life. As it stands right now, you’re struggling with lots of financial difficulties and focusing on lack a lot, which only attracts more money problems.

In order to turn this around, begin thinking, feeling and acting like a person who has no money problems. How would such a person feel? How would such a person behave day to day? Most likely, that person would be calm, happy, grateful, centered and content. They’d pay their bills calmly and they wouldn’t worry about money, ever! They would FEEL abundant and blessed. If you begin thinking, feeling and acting that way too, guess what happens? You communicate to the universe that you are abundant and blessed - and the universe says, “Okay!”

The truth is, the Law of Attraction is incredibly EASY to use once you know how! It’s just a matter of learning how to think, feel and act differently than you have been used to doing for most of your life. A period of adjustment is absolutely necessary - just like adopting ANY new habit! Don’t expect yourself to get it perfect right away. Simply work at improving your thoughts, emotions and expectations a little at a time, moment by moment. You may think that small changes won’t create big results, but I assure you they can!

Eventually you’ll reach a point where you pause, look back and marvel at how much your life has changed, just because you were willing to take it a step at a time.

“I can’t seem to discover why I’m on the planet.”

“What is my purpose here? I know there’s something I’m supposed to be doing, but I don’t know how to find out what it is.”

“I don’t seem to be passionate about anything.”

I’ve heard these complaints over and over from my clients.

Discovering our passion and purpose is vital to our joy and well-being. The problem is that many people have lost touch with any sense of their passion and purpose and have no idea how to access this information.

The blueprint for this information lies within our core Self, our essence, the true Self that is often buried during our early years. If our true Self was not seen and validated by our parents, teachers, or other caregivers, it is likely to have gone underground. The self many of know as our “self” is generally our wounded self, our ego, the self we created to get love and avoid pain. Our wounded self has within it all of our fears and false beliefs, and does not have access to what is true for us.

How, then, do we discover our passion and purpose if the blueprint for this information is long buried? The good news is that while it is buried, it is not lost. Anyone can reclaim this information if you are willing to do the inner work of healing your wounded self.

I’ve worked with thousands of clients who, as they practice the Inner Bonding process that I teach (see our FREE course at .innerbonding.com), gradually heal their fears and false, limiting beliefs to the point where their true Self comes peeking out. This is the vital, alive aspect of ourselves, the aspect of us that just wants to joyfully express ourselves in the world. As you allow this aspect to emerge, you will gradually discover what truly brings you joy.

In our society, we tend to ignore our special talents and choose our careers according to what will give us a sense of security. Too often, however, what makes us feel safe does not fulfill us spiritually. For example, Roger worked for many years as an attorney, but he never enjoyed it. He made lots of money, yet when he consulted with me he was suffering from anxiety and depression. He had become an attorney because his father had been an attorney and wanted Roger to follow in his footsteps. Roger had gone along with what his father wanted for him because he didn’t know what else he wanted and now, in midlife, he was miserable. He yearned to discover his passion.

A few months after starting to practice Inner Bonding, Roger remembered that he had really wanted to be a teacher. He had never seriously considered teaching because he felt he couldn’t make enough money, but now he was willing to make far less money because he was so unhappy with his present work. Roger went back to school and got his teaching credential and is now a high school social studies teacher. The last time I spoke with him he was radiant! He loved working with adolescents, and he felt he was making a real contribution to their lives. For the first time ever, he felt alive and passionate about his life. His wife decided to take up some of the financial slack by doing something she had always wanted to do: design children’s clothing. She started her own mail-order business and is thrilled with it. Their marriage and family life is flourishing because both of them are happy and fulfilled within themselves.

Ricki came to see me because she was so unhappy working as a controller of a big import business. Yet she had no idea what else she wanted to do. It took about a year of practicing Inner Bonding before her true Self told her that she wanted to be a nutritionist. Ricki hadn’t wanted to hear her true Self because she didn’t want to go back to school. Finally she was so unhappy that she decided to listen. She is now back in school enjoying discovering her passion.

While it may not always be possible to change your work immediately to something you love, if you follow your passion, it will often lead you there. And even when you have to earn money in ways that do not express your soul, you can seek volunteer opportunities and hobbies to express who you are. Often these can lead to the work that you will eventually do.

Alfredo worked as a manager of a large supermarket. With his small savings, he decided to start pursuing a hobby that had always fascinated him - restoring old cars. He used all his extra money to buy his first old car and spent many blissful hours restoring it. He was so good at it, he was able to sell his restored cars for a lot of money. Eventually he was able to quit his job at the market and pursue his passion full time. Ultimately he started a project in a prison teaching inmates to restore cars. Alfredo now loves what he does and receives great satisfaction from helping others.

Your soul has a deep desire for you to express yourself in ways that brings you joy. It is your job to discover what that is and to bring it about.