My Essay Blog

Self improvement in and of itself is a fairly easy to understand concept. You have one or more areas of your life that you are not happy with, so you decide to take steps to improve those areas.

For some people it is as simple as something like just taking more time for themselves each day, but for most people it is something more extreme such as long-term weight loss, financial freedom, relationship success, etc.

However, as simple as it is to say that you want to improve some area of your life, when it comes to actually implementing the necessary changes, things tend to get more complicated, especially with regard to something like financial or relationship success.

A goal such as losing weight is easy &ndash at least on paper. Eat right and exercise. How do you “fix” financial burdens, though? How do you bring your “dream mate” into your life?

The answer to the riddle about the self improvement task that is so simple that it’s nearly impossible is &ndash whatever task it is that you want the most!

If you have a burning desire for something in your life, whether it be money, health, fulfilling relationships, or anything else, that burning desire is there because you don’t already have that thing.

Did you ever stop to ask yourself why it is that the things that you want most in the world are the things that you have the most trouble actually getting your hands on?

Whether it be via the actions that you take &ndash or the actions that you don’t take &ndash there is a serious disconnect between your desires and what you actually have in your life.

The good news, which is also the simple part of this equation, is that YOU are the disconnect. You are your own worst enemy when it comes to manifesting the things that you want into your life.

It may not seem that way from your point of view, because you are probably working very hard towards getting the things that you want. You may have a job that you are excelling at in order to “move up,” you might put everything that you have into your relationships, and you may save every dime that you can in order to get ahead financially.

However, when it comes down to it, although taking action is a critical component to success, it is your mental state of mind, not just your actions, that sets the stage for your success.

There are any number of belief systems that can affect whether or not you attain your goals. Whether you believe in the Law of Attraction, positive thinking, a high work ethic, strong morals, or even if you just have a high level of self-confidence, your success always &ndash and only &ndash depends on you.

Thus, you yourself become the very solution to attaining the “impossible” success that has been escaping you up to this point in your life.

Your own attitude and belief system is what powers your success &ndash or lack thereof. The trick to the whole process, however, is that most people think they are on the right track mentally, when in all actuality they are headed in the wrong direction because of their focus.

People who have consistently wanted &ndash yet failed to attain &ndash their health and weight loss goals continue to get the same results because they are focusing on something negative &ndash bad health or excess weight.

What you focus on grows, so if you think about the fact that you are overweight or have poor health, then you will continue to be overweight and have poor health. To make matters worse, since a lot of that process is done “behind the scenes” in your subconscious mind, you probably don’t even realize that you continue to reinforce the very self-limiting beliefs that are keeping you from success.

That same concept applies to financial gains, relationship success, career growth, and any other area of your life that you feel needs improvement. By continuing to focus on what you don’t want, all you are doing is continuing to attract the things that you don’t want into your life.

The solution to this issue is very simple, however. All you need to do is focus on the opposite of what you don’t want. Whenever you think about the things that you want, just think about having them, instead of NOT having them.

Don’t think about losing weight, but rather think about how great you already look since you are at your goal weight. Always think in the NOW, as if it has already happened.

Don’t think about how broke you are, but rather think about all of the things that you are spending money on. Go window shopping in your mind, and out in the real world, but again, in the NOW.

Don’t think about how lonely or upset you are because of your relationship status. Think about how happy and content you are with your family and your dream mate. And it is all happening NOW.

It’s crucial to remember to focus on the things that you want as if you already have them. If you think about your success as being in the future, then it will always stay in the future!

Simplify the impossible. Start thinking and acting like you have already succeeded, and before long, it won’t be an act anymore.

Introduction

This article introduces the problem-solving model as a technique for managing performance issues that are more controversial, or that are not effectively addressed through coaching or feedback. Issues such as tardiness, being out of uniform, continual poor performance, and others are best handled by a direct, objective approach. By following the Problem Solving Dialogue Model taught in this article, you can feel confident in addressing these thorny issues with employees.

Problem solving sounds so simple. However, we know it isn’t as simple as it seems. Employees don’t behave as we hope they would. Problem solving conversations are the ones we all tend to &ndash or want to &ndash avoid. Why? Because we fear &ndash or are concerned about &ndash how the employees may react. In a minute we will find ways to overcome these challenging situations.

What you must remember is that it is important NOT to avoid these conversations as a result of feeling uncomfortable about having them. If you were the coach of a baseball team, you would want your players to give it their all. What they should be able to expect of you in return, is that other players on the team are performing as they need to. Why should the shortstop play his heart out if you let the pitcher or first baseman not play at the same level?

Key Points

Guiding questions are a significant tool when in a problem solving dialogue. Regardless of the emotional response of the employee, we must always focus on the problem behavior not the problem employee. It is not personal.

Two key things to keep in mind are:

• Always treat the employee with professionalism, dignity, and respect.

• You are responsible for the performance of your entire team. If you let

the lack of performance of any one person go unaddressed because you are uncomfortable dealing with it, you are being unfair to everyone else on the team. As a result, you would not be fulfilling your job responsibilities as a team leader. It is your responsibility to address any individual issues that are affecting the team’s performance or morale.

The Problem Solving Model

It is valuable to allow the employee to solve as much of the problem as possible. The more employees can solve their own problems, the more likely they are to carry through with the solution, AND the more independent they become.

In problem solving, the chances are fairly likely that the person will not be able to solve the problem without help from you. It is important that you recognize the performance problem and the reasons for the problem.

It is also important that you plan solutions to the problem’s resolution before you meet with the individual. If the employee engages in inappropriate problem solving &ndash blaming, excusing, defending, looking to others for the solution &ndash you need to be able to redirect the problem solving to a more productive vein. You may find that you have to TELL the employee what the acceptable solution is. Thoughtful planning and practice increase the chance of success as you manage performance.

1. Open the conversation/clarify the purpose of the conversation. It is important to focus the problem solving conversation early. It you want to discuss other things, save them for another conversation. Mixing other topics into a problem solving/corrective action conversation diffuses the impact of the conversation and reduces the likelihood of performance change.

Be up front and specific. “I want to discuss the missed deadline.” “I want to talk about your production numbers.” At the same time, express your confidence that we together can resolve this problem.

2. Clarify the problem. This is where you clearly define the problem. Use specific outcomes or observable behaviors. Avoid absolutes, generalizations, hearsay, or opinions. Be specific. Instead of saying, “you’re always late,” say, “you were at least 10 minutes late three times last week.”

Further clarify the problem by identifying the impact of the person’s behavior on:

a) The group (i.e., “others have to cover for you when you’re not on time.”)

b) The department or team (i.e., “our coverage numbers suffer”)

c) You (i.e., “I have to take time to conduct meetings like this when I could be coaching or doing other management activities.”)

d) The employee (i.e., “Your chances for growth or even continued employment may be jeopardized.”)

3. Make sure that you ask if the person understands the problem and the impact of the problem. Look for a verbal or non-verbal agreement. Getting agreement that there is a problem and that the problem has significant impact is half the battle!

4. Create solutions that are acceptable to you. It is better to ask for involvement and ideas from the employee at this stage since doing so increases the likelihood that they will implement the solution. However, the solution must meet YOUR requirements and standards! You may also find that the employee is not willing or able to come up with solutions. For these reasons, it is important that you have several solutions in mind before the meeting.

Solutions must include:

a) Specific steps: what will the employee do to correct or alleviate the problem.

b) Timeframe: corrective action discussions need to include some type of timeframe to mark the successful end of this intervention. “Okay, let’s start this tomorrow and try this for 30 days.”

c) Consequences: consequences must be clear and appropriate. Moreover, consequences must be present or behavior will very likely not change. “If you are late again within the next 30 days, I will need to issue a written warning which may lead to termination.”

d) Follow-up date and expectations: set a specific date and time to meet to review the progress and either act on the appropriate consequences or celebrate success.

5. As you and the employee are creating acceptable solutions, you will want to direct the conversation. If the employee is generating acceptable solutions, you will want to support and build on those ideas. If the employee is exhibiting inappropriate problem solving by blaming others, coming up with excuses, accusing you of being unfair, etc., defer or redirect the conversation by saying, “I would like to talk about that more later; right now, I’d like to stay focused on what you can do.” In some cases, you will simply have to tell the employee what you think the best solution is. Again, be prepared!

6. At the conclusion of the meeting, summarize the solution and express confidence in the employee to implement the solution. Then document the meeting and follow up accordingly.

Summary

We, as managers, supervisors, and team leaders, realize that it is our responsibility to ensure that EVERYONE on the team performs to their potential &ndash and to the expectations of the job. Poor performers not only affect themselves and their specific jobs, their effect negatively impacts the performance of other team members.

While it is challenging, conducting an effective problem-solving meeting is made easier when applying the Problem Solving Dialogue Model.

(This information comes from Coaching for Performance, a module in Entelechy’s High Performance Management program. Check out this module as well as our 40 other modules, training tools, and eGuides at .unlockit.com.)

Compulsive activities are addictive habits that can extremely affect your life. It can create a huge problem that can damage your lifestyle, status and moral character as a whole. You may not think you are doing anything to hurt anyone, but in the end, you really are hurting yourself and your loved ones. This especially goes for compulsive spending.

What Is Compulsive Spending?

Compulsive spending is the developed habit of spending your money just because you have it. A person with a compulsive spending habit will most likely buy everything they want or like, just because there is money in their wallets. They may not even really need the item, or service. They may not even really like it. But the fact that they have money to spend is the basis for their purchase. But what they don’t realize is that compulsive spending could lead them to a path that they never thought they would be on. It can send them down the financial problem river with nothing and no one to help them out. It can greatly effect the relationships that they have with their family and friends. Most importantly, they can cause damage to their own lives in a drastically devastating way.

Signs of Compulsive Spending

The one major sign of compulsive spending is the fact that you feel you need to spend money. Let’s say that they you are at a mall with your friend and your only purpose there is to hang out or just eat. Before you leave the mall, if you find that you have spent a huge amount of money for things that you don’t need or hardly even want, then the first sign of compulsive spending has just reared its ugly head. Now if you find yourself doing this frequently, you know you are in the habit of compulsive spending. If you find that your financial status is becoming greatly affected and you cannot control yourself from spending money, you really need to seek help.

Overcoming Compulsive Spending

One solution to overcome compulsive spending is through hypnosis. Hypnosis can help control the subconscious of the compulsive spender and help them deal with their issues. Since this compulsive habit is a mental and psychological illness, hypnosis can actually be the solution to cure this ailment.

If you cannot control yourself from spending too much, then consider hypnosis to control your subconscious to avoid any further damage. The process of hypnosis is by altering the way you are thinking and providing the possible ways into breaking through your compulsive spending.

Too many victims of panic attacks keep their condition private for fear of embarrassment. They struggle with the internal conflict of phobias and fears in solitude. Unfortunately, this self-help philosophy rarely produces any measurable results because the patient does not have enough resources to succeed. A support network is vital to the success of panic attack treatment since it helps to keep the patient focused on the challenges. This support network can come in many different forms, but it is typically comprised of three groups.

Family

One of the most obvious places to turn for support is within the family structure. Parents and siblings are often the first people to notice the changing behavior patterns associated with anxiety disorders. Because of this, their feedback can be a valuable tool when panic attacks reoccur. Overcoming panic attacks can be a long journey with numerous setbacks and challenges, and the steadying influence of family support is vital to helping the patient succeed

Friends

Friends may not have a hereditary relationship with patient, but their strong bond and trust level often make them the first place patients turn for support. While it can be difficult to offer advice for a condition that many are unfamiliar with, friends should realize that just being there can be enough to help sufferers through the rough days. There are also group therapy situations that friends can attend, and these are not only therapeutic for the patient, but they can also help supporters learn more about panic attacks.

Doctors

Having panic disorder diagnosed by a doctor is an important stage of recovery. Not only does it help the patient come to terms with the issue, but it also allows the opportunity to explore treatment options. Doctors carry the responsibility of recommending targeted treatments for panic attacks, while also monitoring the techniques and adjusting when necessary. These more scientific tasks hold some of the keys to overcoming panic attacks, but the best results come when the support network works as whole.

It is possible to stop panic attacks from overwhelming the lives of its victims, but successful treatment usually requires a network of supporters. The obstacles of panic disorder can be numerous, which in turn increases the likelihood of failure or relapse. This is where a solid support network will provide the encouragement and reassurance necessary to succeed. But the first step in recovery is for the patient to learn how to control panic attacks, and that process begins at controlpanicattack.com

Here’s A Fast-Acting Visualization Exercise For Attracting Abundance

Set quality time when you can be uninterrupted for at least an hour, to concentrate your attention on defining your dreams. Sit down with your Dream List in a comfortable, quiet place to start visualizing your dream. What is your dream? Begin to picture some ideas about it. Allow vivid images to flow into your imagination. Create your ideal scene, writing anything that comes to mind, no matter how crazy or unrealistic it might seem. You can sort out and evaluate your ideas later. For now, just let them flow freely. Write in as much detail as you can. Describe your ideas in sparkling sensory images, being sure to include the feelings and sensations they incite.

Assume now, for the first time in your life, you have been given the opportunity to start anew, knowing everything in your life from now on will support you in “Living Your Dream.” See yourself walking down a narrow path lined on both sides by flowers and hanging vines. You are enchanted by the beauty all around you. Floral fragrances fill the air and brilliant-colored birds swoop and sing. Breathe in deeply and soak up the warm, soothing rays of the bright sun.

Proceed merrily along the path until you come upon a scene that you recognize as your ideal place to be in all of nature. Here you are free of all distractions and responsibilities. Take a good look around you. Do you see blue skies and grassy fields? Do you see mountains? Are there trees, water, flowers, the ocean, birds, sunshine, rain? Note the colors and details of the landscape, as an artiste would.

Look around; what do you see? What is it you love about the particular place you find yourself in? How does it feel to be there? What is the one quality of the scene you would want to take with you wherever you go? Relax, and soak up enough of this feeling to last for all eternity.

Once ready to proceed, gently open your eyes without leaving your scene. Draw or paint it in your Dream List, and write all about it before going on. Then close your eyes again. Now, you feel eager to know what lies just ahead. Gather yourself up, and turn your eyes toward a sparkling light not far away. With a springing step, start out across the short stretch to find out what could be reflecting the sunbeams so brightly.

And just drink it all in! There it is - your dream house, perfect in every way. It is in the exact location you would choose, if you could choose any place you wanted. Walk slowly up to it, noticing every exterior detail. What kind of house is it? Describe what you see from the outside.

Pause a while to picture and write what you see. What is important to you in your home? Where do you spend most of your time? What kinds of experiences will you choose to have there? How do your surroundings accommodate these purposes? What does the dreamer in you say you aspire to? Dream … and write. Imagine you can dream and write into your life any possessions you like. What are some of the things you desire? What objects energize the dreamer in you?

Lovingly explore each detail of your ideal home to your complete satisfaction. Now once again look beyond, to see more of what is in store for you, to fulfill and complete your life. Begin to consider the central purpose for your life.

Memorization techniques, tips and advices can be found everywhere. Probably there are just so many things you’ve already read off from books, magazines and of course the Internet but then there is always some methods that apply better for you which may not work for others.

Whichever the case, your imagination plays a big part in getting your memorization tasks done for you. Visual learners benefit greatly from using memorization techniques that pertains to imagination and creativity. Since visual learners can manage to create and rely on a mental image that they retain in the brain, it is strongly encouraged for them to stick to this side of their imagination.

It’s even better for visual learners to create a wild or silly scenario or a movie. It doesn’t have to be perfect, even silly or hilarious ideas are accepted for this kind of purpose. The purpose for one to memorize effectively has got something to do with the approach he uses; so even if it’s just a series of spontaneous mental images, as long as it stirs the imagination amusingly, it’s fine. When you already have a sequence of mental images, then you can start playing it back and forth in your mind until you familiarize yourself with its details and sequence.

If visual learners can create a short movie, so they can also make use of stories. These are still mental stories that can be created from words you’re not familiar with. This is also applicable for memorizing words; an example would be words in a list or even words from a poem.

For these types of instances, a mnemonic approach called the journey system would be applicable. Let’s say you have several items needed in a list, let’s use several items you have in your own room since it’s the place in your heart closest to you (assuming it is).

Pretend the items below are the things you need:

Glass jars, thread, comb, paintbrushes, and a masscara

Upon getting up in the morning, you look at your bedroom window and a number of glass jars hangs as curtains and then you try to fix your blanket which is made of thread. Next, you face your bathroom mirror and chooses from a hundred selection of comb displayed on the wall. As you wash your face, you turn the handle of your faucet which is made of paintbrush. Lastly, just before you go out of your room, you pick up your brush your teeth with toothbrush that looks just like a masscara.

Has anyone heard of Emmeline Pankhurst?

Emmeline was born in Manchester, UK in 1858. She was the daughter of very forward thinking parents for their time, Robert and Sophia Goulden.

You can read more about Emmeline, often referred to as Emily, by visiting this link,

.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/WpankhurstE.htm

Briefly, Emmeline was highly instrumental in forming the UK’s Suffragette Movement and in doing so she eventually brought about the right for women to vote.

Now OK, both our male and female readers could be forgiven for thinking, ‘hey hang on a minute, this is an attempt to promote feminist views’.

However I can assure you it is not because I am not out to promote any kind of political agenda so please bear with me, especially our male readers. You’re not about to come under fire here.

The point I am trying to highlight is the sheer belief that Emmeline held deep within herself.

This was that she could make change happen in a society that had always shaped and dominated the view that women had a far lesser role to play than their male counterparts and that their worth as a human being was also far less.

This was evident by the fact that at that time, women could not enter many professions in particular the medical and law profession. Even by today’s standards, in the UK especially, female barristers still have a hard time reaching the Bar Council and as far as I am aware, in all of British history right up to the current date, there is not a single female judge sitting in the House of Lords, Britains highest law court.

Can you also believe that it was only in 1991, that the House of Lords finally overturned a legal ruling that had stood for centuries? This was that it was accepted in law that it was legal for a man to rape his wife in marriage.

Only in 1991 was this barbaric law finally thrown out and replaced with new legislation that it is indeed now illegal for a husband to assault his wife.

Imagine then, back in the early 1900’s when the Edwardian society were still feeling embarrassed by their gaudy Victorian parents, the incredible struggle that Emmeline must have endured despite being arrested and thrown in prison many times over because she believed women should have more rights, especially the simple, most precious right of all, the right to vote.

So here is the question that springs to mind.

What kept Emmeline going? What kept this amazing woman strong in the face of such adversity during a time where society had been trained to view women in an extremely poor light? Where did her incredible strength and durability come from?

The simple answer was the belief in her own power.

The Power of One.

Now, the whole point of writing about this most incredible British woman is to demonstrate to both men and women, that no matter what you face, how much you feel trapped, how much you want change or how much you are facing the disapproval of others, you too have that same power within you. If Emmeline could create such change back then at that point in history, you can do the same today.

Emmeline was fortunate because she had parents who were radical and fully in control of what they believed. They owned their own personal right to make the choices and decisions that they felt were right for them and they passed their passionate beliefs and attitudes onto their daughter who as a result turned society up on it’s head.

Although she was such a free thinking spirit considering the time in which she lived,a period which had just emerged from a stiff, highly reserved Victorian era, ironically Emmeline cast aside her inspired thinking, which had so victoriously set her apart from the restrictions of the then society, when she refused to speak to her daughter Sylvia for the crime of having an illegitimate child.

Refusing to have anything to do with Sylvia or her grandson, Emmeline died in 1928.

How odd that she had set so many women free, orchestrated a complete change of attitude towards women in society, achieved far improved standards of working and living conditions for women, and brought about their equal right to vote. Yet, she was bound up in a belief that it was wrong to have a child out of wedlock to such an extent that she disowned her own daughter and grandchild.

How sad that this gallant, free spirited woman passed from this life on earth without forgiving her own flesh and blood. Even more sad was that she could not see that Sylvia was now a product of a much freer society that Emmeline herself had created.

This was clearly a limiting belief that Emmeline held as a boundary to what she found unacceptable and in some ways, it backfired as limiting beliefs so often do mostly because they lead to bad judgements and intolerance.

These two points are inextricably linked. Power and acceptance, power and acceptance, power and acceptance.If we say them over and over, they begin to chime harmoniously together.

Emmeline Pankhurst was an incredible woman living in a brief space of time where she made the impossible happen because of her own power (what she chose to believe was right for her) and what she chose to accept (what she believed was either unacceptable or acceptable to her on a personal level.) When she chose to adopt the limiting belief that her daughter was wrong to have a child out of wedlock, her choice cost both her and her daughter great pain so having set so many women free, Emmeline actually trapped herself by believing it was right to ignore her daughter and grandchild.

We can as individuals draw on many helpful lessons from learning about inspiring people like Emmeline Pankhurst.

For example, we can ask ourselves:

Do I feel powerful enough to change my life?

What is acceptable to me?

What do I feel unable to accept that I am currently accepting?

What limiting beliefs am I holding onto?

One further point about Emmeline that positively shines out a mile, is that she knew who she was and what she was here to do.

How many of us know the same about ourselves today?

I know from the many clients I see that when I ask them to tell me who they actually are, they look at me with a blank expression and they struggle to answer the question.

This tells me that they’ve become so bogged down in the details of life, that they know their friends better than themselves and that over time, they have become a complete stranger to who they really are.

I chose to write about Emily Pankhurst for this particular article because when I was 12 and studying history at school, I’d been dozing through the lesson when my history teacher threw a book in my direction and yelled at me in front of the whole class,

‘Listen you stupid girl! Because of Emmeline Pankhurst, you are a free woman today! You could at the very least be grateful’!

I wasn’t stupid and I wasn’t deliberately ignoring the lesson, I was tired from being up at 4.30am to help at home. But my incredibly irate history teacher, rightly or wrongly in the way she approached it, got my attention and I have admired and been inspired ever since by women like Emmeline Pankhurst. I found a lot of my own strength and power in viewing her as my own role model for standing up for my beliefs and achievements today.

Whether you’re male or female, if you want to bring positive change to your current life or circumstances, the first line of action you need to take is to begin questioning and often change your perception of the way in which you see your own world. This means taking a shrewd and honest view of what you currently believe about yourself, the environment you live in and the role others play in shaping your life.

It’s all about the questions you ask inwardly and the dialogue you have with yourself then taking a leap of faith in making choices and decisions that are right for you.

Nothing disarms and invites an audience in more than humor. We are instantly drawn to people we think are funny. We enjoy listening to humorous individuals and hearing what they have to say. Humor grabs attention, creates rapport and makes a message more memorable. It can also relieve tension, enhance relationships and motivate people.

If you’ve got an important message to share, humor can give you a huge advantage. The actor John Cleese once said, “If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas. And if I can persuade you to laugh at the particular point I make, by laughing at it you acknowledge its truth.” Don’t use humor just to get a laugh out of your prospects. In humor, there is so much potential for influence. Armed with humor, you can provide special insights or teach important principles.

Humor must be used cautiously, however. If used properly, it will help your audience to like you. If used ineffectively or inappropriately, however, it can be a big turn off. The instant you irritate or offend your audience members, it’s over. Nothing you say or do from that point forward will rectify the damage done. Worse, they’ll always remember you as a bad comic. Be sure that you have good material before attempting to incorporate humor into your presentations. Also, cater your comedy to your audience. What would they find funny? What are some inside experiences they share that you could draw humor from? Use humor that will evoke chuckles and lightheartedness but that is still built on truth. It is a very wise idea to test the comedic waters on friends or family to make sure your humor works!

Another technique that is sometime used in story selling is the instillation of fear. As manipulative as it may sound, fear definitely motivates others when it is used properly. I would strongly caution against creating a false sense of fear, however. Doing so truly is manipulative, and by instilling false fear you will lose your audience’s long-term trust. Use fear only if the threat is real and if it is in the best interest of the audience to be forewarned. For example, doctors sometimes have to be straightforward with their patients about the impending worst-case scenario if they don’t get in shape. It’s scary to hear, but the patient truly needs this information to be brought to her/his attention.

As much as we may wish it to not be the case, often it is only fear that will motivate and move someone off a path to destruction. There are less dramatic, but nevertheless fear-inspired, examples: Fear incites us to buy life insurance, to floss our teeth, to buy cars with airbags, to install home security systems and to purchase guns. Hopefully, fear will not be a persuasive tool you use with great frequency, but if you feel you can effectively use it to underscore a very important message, adhere to the following guidelines:

1. You must make your audience feel the anxiety and uneasiness that come from anticipating the possible, even greater, negative emotions (pain, grief, loss, etc.) that will become imminent if the problem is not dealt with.

2. Your prospects must feel not only that the fearful event is likely to happen, but also that they could be victimized by its occurrence. In other words, they must feel vulnerable.

3. You must provide a solution to the fear you instill. Give your prospects a recommended action to resolve the fear-inducing problem.

4. Your prospects must believe that they are capable of doing what is asked of them and that doing so will work for them.

Ben danced to his own beat. He never listened to anyone, not his parents or his instructors. Ben’s motto was “I do it my own way.” As a consequence, Ben’s life was a series of bad decisions. He was unsuccessful in life. Nevertheless, Ben’s decision making never got any better. As the county guard shut the door to Ben’s cell, he ordered, “Lights out!” Ben screamed, “I’m the man! You can’t make me do anything.” The prison light goes out. Ben is left in the dark.

The Critical Decision

Have you ever wondered why some people continue to make bad decisions? You see million-dollar celebrities doing it. You can see this action in government officials and business leaders. There are no discriminators. From the very rich to the poorest of the poor, we see people caught in a vicious cycle of bad decision making. Sadly, we see it much closer than that. We witness relatives making those bad decisions. Despite all the wise counsel, the poor decisions continue.

Why is it important to teach people how to make better decisions? Anthony Robbins, author of Awakening the Giant Within, attributes good decision-making as a key attribute to a happy life. Bestselling author Brian Tracy argues, “The further you think into the future, the better decisions you will make in the present to assure that future becomes a reality.” Making better decisions improves the quality of one’s life.

Problem Identification

As a young advisor and college professor, I constantly hear students proclaim, “I’m grown.” This statement implies I don’t have to listen to anyone. I know best. Therefore, I can make my own decisions. Through series after series of bad decisions, the youth continues on merry ride of worsening consequences. Two things generally can stop this dead-end trap.

One lies in becoming more mature with age, and the other is experience. In going through a series of bad decisions, a wise person gains insight on the consequences of a bad decision. Every person, regardless of their background or social standing, can benefit from good decision-making techniques. Here are some key steps to use:

1. Define the problem or issues

2. Conduct research on the matter

3. Discuss with respected individuals with similar circumstances

4. Consider at least two alternatives

5. Select best decisions, based on your value system

6. Move on and accept any consequences

The Right Path

Making the right decision is a difficult process. No one will usually applaud your many good decisions; however, you will probably catch heat over the bad ones. Les Brown, author of How to Become the Person You Always Wanted to Be-No Matter What the Obstacle, explains, “Your values are not set by government or church leaders. Your values give you consistency in the way you approach life…By holding to your beliefs, you can always stay on track toward your dreams.”